How do I get brother-in-law to be more modest around the house?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The problem is YOU.

Do you realize that in mother-father households, and particularly those with both sons and daughters, the human body is usually not taboo? My daughter saw her older brother naked from the day she was born. Nudity is not a problem.

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with a guest's tight underpants adjacent to morning coffee, although this is not how I raise my own son, but YOU as the homeowner have the right to request of guests that they dress with propriety. So go ahead and do that.

But from there to insinuating that your girls will be traumatized if they see anatomy they do not themselves possess is beyond crazy! Do your job as a parent and buy a kids' book about bodies and go from there, you silly goose.

My goodness.


Nudity is a problem after certain ages and when people are visiting, just so you know.
Anonymous
My husband and sons walked around the house in their underwear and when my daughter expressed some discomfort I threw away their briefs and bought them all boxers. They didn’t care and everyone was happy.
Anonymous
3 and 5? I don’t see why they’d care. They aren’t tweens or teens. Maybe it’s you that is uncomfortable.
Anonymous
1. Teach your kids fool now!

2. Brother in law put your dam clothes on in someone else’s house

Fixed it for you idiot
Anonymous
OP seems like an easy solution for your wife to talk to your brother. Can you come back and let us know why that’s not an option? Seems pretty straightforward.

Also posters trying to shame OP into being cool with undies-wearing brother sound like my family who gave me zero privacy growing up. I couldn’t change in my own room behind a closed door without someone walking in. And no there were no locks. Guess what I do for my tween? I knock and respect her privacy. People aren’t uptight just bc they don’t want to see you in your boxers.
Anonymous
*wife to talk to HER brother
Anonymous
How is it hard to say “please put on some pants”????? If he doesn’t have pajamas lend or buy him a pair.
Anonymous
Am I the only one who thinks it is actually creepy for a grown man to think it is OK to wear his tight whiteys around two little girls? It’s boundary crossing.
Anonymous


Have your wife have a convo with her brother on this.
Anonymous
Tight underwear around your adult sister and her wife? Boxers is one thing, but this is rude.

I was raised with age appropriate books on anatomy and other topics, but I can remember being under 10 and very uncomfortable that my father walked around in tighty whities. I was beside myself with embarrassment.

OP, you are 3 years too late on teaching your 5 yo about human bodies and basics on how humans procreate. You can't use being a lesbian as an excuse for not teaching them so far. If you hurry, you can catch up with the 3 yo.

I taught my kids about humans and sex starting at age 2. Every year I filled in a little more details. Around age 10 I bought books on how their body will change and how babies are made. Put them in their bedroom bookcase so they could read them in case they were embarrassed.

Never understood the parents who took their 13 for a walk and laid the birds and bees on them all at once.

But yeah, "hey Bob, please put on some pants or shorts in the morning. Thanks."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I can guarantee you that your daughters did not notice anything about your brother in law other than he was wearing clothes. The way you described it, I thought he showed up to the breakfast in leather string bikinis.


Have you been around many children? Young children talk about private parts and wonder about bulges. I would have your spouse tell him to wear more clothes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:"Larlo, you need to put on some pants when you're around kids."


“Please put some pants on” is sufficient.
Anonymous
Totally fine to request an actual pair of pants when he leaves his bedroom. It doesn’t have to be his sister saying so either. It is your house, your rules. And a perfectly fair rule!
Anonymous
For a week, I'd bite my tongue. I think its important for guests to feel comfortable within reason and this is within reason. I've had odd moments where a neighbor approached in only undies after a workout, I think that's how some guys workout. If it was longer, Id make the request couched in the acknowledgement that it was my personal issue that would not go away.
Would you like someone telling you to wear a bra in the morning at their house or to not show your legs?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Maybe teach your kids that all bodies are natural and fine, and there is no need to get worked up about them?


Wrong answer.
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