How do I get brother-in-law to be more modest around the house?

[Anonymous]

I have a teen son and he would absolutely do this if I didn’t tell him “go put pants on.” It’s not a big deal but it’s rude to just walk around in your underwear. And it irritates his sisters. (His little sister also gets irritated with him shirtless but I allow tjat except for mealtimes when I take a “no shirt, no service” rule.
My husband also used to do this and when we had kids and I thiougjt it as inappropriate, I bought him a bunch of athletic shorts so he wears those now. I don’t think that boxers are much better because stuff falls out of the boxers or they tent.
My guess is that your wife’s family let him walk around in underwear in front of his sister — otherwise he’d be putting on pants. So it’s probably not weird for your wife.
I wouldn’t walk around the house in my underwear either — the most I’d do is run to the dryer to grab a pair of pants out.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised people think this is an unreasonable ask. I usually sleep in an oversized t shirt or a pajama set with short shorts. I don’t feel comfortable wearing this sort of thing around my in-laws house.

In a similar vein, my husband will wear boxers and a tshirt around our house but would never come out in just boxers at his parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother-in-law is visiting us for the week. He's very sweet, great with our kids, etc etc. There's just one problem: he sometimes wears an amount of clothing that is less than I'm comfortable with around the house. Yesterday he poured some coffee while still wearing the shirt he slept in and some fairly tight underpants. This was awkward on its own, but was made worse because my daughters (3 & 5) were there. We still haven't had the chat with them about male anatomy yet (we're lesbians so it just hasn't come up), so this felt a bit insensitive of that. I don't know how to bring this up without it being completely mortifying to both of us. Thoughts?

He sounds like a freak. I would honestly ask him to leave and go to a hotel for the rest of your week. He's grooming your children for sexual abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe teach your kids that all bodies are natural and fine, and there is no need to get worked up about them?

Except white, middle aged male bodies, right?

[Anonymous]

He can't come out of the bedroom in his underwear, but the bigger issue here is that your 3 and 5 year old don't know about penises. We are a mom and child family, and both of us are female, but I told my daughter about penises when she was little. I'm fairly sure she saw some in preschool. And she's seen the cat's. I think it's odd that it's never come up.

[Anonymous]

Ha. My dad got remarried when I was 14 and before that I always walked around in my boxers on weekend mornings. It wasn't until my stepmom moved in that he told me to stop. Apparently it made her uncomfortable because my largeness was so evident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother-in-law is visiting us for the week. He's very sweet, great with our kids, etc etc. There's just one problem: he sometimes wears an amount of clothing that is less than I'm comfortable with around the house. Yesterday he poured some coffee while still wearing the shirt he slept in and some fairly tight underpants. This was awkward on its own, but was made worse because my daughters (3 & 5) were there. We still haven't had the chat with them about male anatomy yet (we're lesbians so it just hasn't come up), so this felt a bit insensitive of that. I don't know how to bring this up without it being completely mortifying to both of us. Thoughts?

Probably why, he figures you don't care since you are not attracted to men. Just one of the girls/guys kinda thing.

[Anonymous]

Hey BIL, please put pants on and a shirt when you’re in the “public/shared” part of the house. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Dude, put your clothes on.
End of discussion
You are late discussing body parts with small kids, it’s anatomy, not sex. Get on it.

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty surprised at how many people are saying that it's normal in their households for people to just walk around in their underwear. Growing up, I never saw my dad or brothers in their underwear and if I had a house guest come out to grab coffee in briefs or boxer briefs, I would find that pretty odd and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be pissed. I don't want to see the outline of some guy's baguette while I'm just trying to drink my coffeee

"Baguette", that's one euphemism I haven't heard.

[Anonymous]

Just tell him to put on clothes before exiting bedroom! Lots of males like to walk around in their underwear and I don't personally like it either. I have to constantly tell my DH as he "forgets". Nobody wants to look at you in your underwear! We, females, don't walk around in our bras around family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell him to put on clothes before exiting bedroom! Lots of males like to walk around in their underwear and I don't personally like it either. I have to constantly tell my DH as he "forgets". Nobody wants to look at you in your underwear! We, females, don't walk around in our bras around family!

Funny how bra is scandalous, but bikini, which often covers even less, is ok! Just a Seinfeld type observation.