Violin parents - looking for advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you dodged a bullet by not sending your kid to Interlochen. No experience with Blue Lake but hopefully it is better.

OP here - I call it the "poor man's Interlochen" because it seems way more chill. But they wear an almost identical uniform. She had a great time last year, went by herself. I was nervous it would be too much violin - hours a day - but she really loved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you dodged a bullet by not sending your kid to Interlochen. No experience with Blue Lake but hopefully it is better.

OP here - I call it the "poor man's Interlochen" because it seems way more chill. But they wear an almost identical uniform. She had a great time last year, went by herself. I was nervous it would be too much violin - hours a day - but she really loved it.

12:19 again. I have become very invested in this thread, OP! I just wanted to put in a good word for Interlochen. My instrument-playing child went there for a couple summers and had a great experience. But I know people have said good things about Blue Lake too. I hope your kid has a great time there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you dodged a bullet by not sending your kid to Interlochen. No experience with Blue Lake but hopefully it is better.

OP here - I call it the "poor man's Interlochen" because it seems way more chill. But they wear an almost identical uniform. She had a great time last year, went by herself. I was nervous it would be too much violin - hours a day - but she really loved it.

12:19 again. I have become very invested in this thread, OP! I just wanted to put in a good word for Interlochen. My instrument-playing child went there for a couple summers and had a great experience. But I know people have said good things about Blue Lake too. I hope your kid has a great time there!

OP here - thank you! I have heard great things about Interlochen but we had a friend recommend Blue Lake for middle schoolers. My DH has also read this thread and it has given us both a lot to think about...but all good things! Congrats on your musician!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you dodged a bullet by not sending your kid to Interlochen. No experience with Blue Lake but hopefully it is better.

OP here - I call it the "poor man's Interlochen" because it seems way more chill. But they wear an almost identical uniform. She had a great time last year, went by herself. I was nervous it would be too much violin - hours a day - but she really loved it.

12:19 again. I have become very invested in this thread, OP! I just wanted to put in a good word for Interlochen. My instrument-playing child went there for a couple summers and had a great experience. But I know people have said good things about Blue Lake too. I hope your kid has a great time there!

OP here - thank you! I have heard great things about Interlochen but we had a friend recommend Blue Lake for middle schoolers. My DH has also read this thread and it has given us both a lot to think about...but all good things! Congrats on your musician!

Thanks! My musician was extremely talented and started at age 5, but her dad pushed her and hounded her until he wrung all the joy out of it for her and it led to lots of fights, tears, resentment, and anger. Then he had a stroke and couldn’t nag her anymore, and after about a year she began to find the joy in playing again. Now she plays less seriously, or intensely, than she used to but now she plays because she enjoys it. Too bad it took such an extreme turn of events to break the unhealthy dynamic. Tell your DH to keep the bigger picture in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you dodged a bullet by not sending your kid to Interlochen. No experience with Blue Lake but hopefully it is better.

OP here - I call it the "poor man's Interlochen" because it seems way more chill. But they wear an almost identical uniform. She had a great time last year, went by herself. I was nervous it would be too much violin - hours a day - but she really loved it.

12:19 again. I have become very invested in this thread, OP! I just wanted to put in a good word for Interlochen. My instrument-playing child went there for a couple summers and had a great experience. But I know people have said good things about Blue Lake too. I hope your kid has a great time there!

OP here - thank you! I have heard great things about Interlochen but we had a friend recommend Blue Lake for middle schoolers. My DH has also read this thread and it has given us both a lot to think about...but all good things! Congrats on your musician!

Thanks! My musician was extremely talented and started at age 5, but her dad pushed her and hounded her until he wrung all the joy out of it for her and it led to lots of fights, tears, resentment, and anger. Then he had a stroke and couldn’t nag her anymore, and after about a year she began to find the joy in playing again. Now she plays less seriously, or intensely, than she used to but now she plays because she enjoys it. Too bad it took such an extreme turn of events to break the unhealthy dynamic. Tell your DH to keep the bigger picture in mind.

05/21/2025 22:27 here. I have seen a lot of this dynamic at the pre-conservatory program my DD attended. There is so much pressure felt by parents when their kids show promise. If you went through this and still have a kid who loves music and your family relationship is currently healthy, then be thankful! Most parents are in too deep to recognize what is going on, and since everyone else around them is under pressure, the anxiety is normalized. Kids always feel the urgency to keep up with other talented students in the studio. Or if they are one of the top students, then they feel the enormous burden to maintain this status. And for parents, there is the pressure to make sure your kid's talent isn't "wasted." I'm just relieved to have made it to the other side of the tunnel, with a teenager who is still passionate about music and completely independent and self-motivated in her studies.