Assisted living for an active alcoholic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rockville Villages has alcohol (bar & restaurant on site), and a graduated system of care.

https://www.thevillageatrockville.org/

[Anonymous]

OP here.

The money is a double edged sword. He has already spent money on shady sugar baby types and does not seem to be romantically interested in people his own age. It's yet another issue we are dealing with. We (the kids) do not want him to keep inviting these people over to the house as it has a lot of silver, antiques, valuable art, etc. He does like making friends and talking with people his own age and we hope friends will make him less eager to seek out sugar baby types.

Can anyone link a local eldercare consultant that they recommend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rockville Villages has alcohol (bar & restaurant on site), and a graduated system of care.

https://www.thevillageatrockville.org/

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

My MIL was in assisted living for 5 years (not in the DC area). She is quite a drinker. Assisted living means there's some help available, but it's not like a prison. I don't think they can just go through your apartment and remove stuff. She was still able to drive and do her own shopping, but they did provide three meals a day, and someone was available to go shopping for her, if needed. She definitely went out to the liquor store and get her bourbon, invited friends over for Happy Hour. I think there is a lot of drinking that goes on among some portion of the elderly in assisted living.

Now, if they decided in their own minds that she was drinking too much, would they pick up liquor for her at the store? That I don't know.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is an interesting presentation I found online, it is for Oregon but it might have some ideas or language for you to research something similar in the DC area:

https://ltcombudsman.org/uploads/files/issues/or-presentation.pdf

[Anonymous]

Grand Oaks in DC might be a good option. They will evaluate him for his suitability but I don’t think they will know he is an alcoholic. They offer wine with dinner in the dining room. And they have memory care. Plus they are attached, underground, to Sibley Hospital which is super convenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL was in assisted living for 5 years (not in the DC area). She is quite a drinker. Assisted living means there's some help available, but it's not like a prison. I don't think they can just go through your apartment and remove stuff. She was still able to drive and do her own shopping, but they did provide three meals a day, and someone was available to go shopping for her, if needed. She definitely went out to the liquor store and get her bourbon, invited friends over for Happy Hour. I think there is a lot of drinking that goes on among some portion of the elderly in assisted living.

Now, if they decided in their own minds that she was drinking too much, would they pick up liquor for her at the store? That I don't know.

This is helpful. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Thanks PP, for the Oregon presentation. We will also give Grand Oaks a call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is an interesting presentation I found online, it is for Oregon but it might have some ideas or language for you to research something similar in the DC area:

https://ltcombudsman.org/uploads/files/issues/or-presentation.pdf

This is an interesting presentation, but note that at least one illustration is of a resident receiving a move-out order because of excessive alcohol use. “Assisted living” facilities routinely show people the door when they can “no longer meet their needs.”

It’s just my view but I really think that looking for a facility specifically to accommodate disordered alcohol use is a very bad idea, doomed to fail (especially if “memory care” becomes an issue, and a pretty significant example of co-dependency and enabling. What’s even worse is the idea that if the subject presents himself well enough on any given day, “they won’t know he’s an alcoholic,” as if getting him through the door in the first place is some kind of “King’s X” that will make him somebody else’s problem forever. That’s not how it works. See point one above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They just gave my uncle nonalcoholic versions of his preferred drink. He did have serious memory issues, so he didn't notice the difference. I don't recall there being a withdrawal issue.

You can dye from alcohol withdrawal. If he was drinking 1/5 of alcohol or 15 beers a day, it would be very dangerous to quit cold turkey. My alcoholic friend just cut back and ended up in a coma and almost died.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They just gave my uncle nonalcoholic versions of his preferred drink. He did have serious memory issues, so he didn't notice the difference. I don't recall there being a withdrawal issue.

You can dye from alcohol withdrawal. If he was drinking 1/5 of alcohol or 15 beers a day, it would be very dangerous to quit cold turkey. My alcoholic friend just cut back and ended up in a coma and almost died.

Die not dye

[Anonymous]

I don't know of one. I used to work in a nursing home only one patient had a doctors note for one drink a day.

[Anonymous]

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