Assisted living for an active alcoholic

[Anonymous]

My father is 81 years old and an alcoholic. He recently returned to drinking 2 years ago when my mom died. Two stints in rehab later, he's relapsed yet again and it seems he doesn't see a point in getting sober at his age. He has memory issues but no dementia diagnosis. After two serious falls, he accepts that he should not live in a house by himself any longer.

Does anyone know an assisted living community in the DMV area that is willing to accept an active alcoholic? He does not need memory care now but likely will in the future. Money is no object and the 'more posh' the better.

[Anonymous]

I think you should see a consultant. There probably are, but they'd never actually say it out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should see a consultant. There probably are, but they'd never actually say it out loud.

What type of consultant would handle something like this?

[Anonymous]

Can't he buy it himself in assisted living? When he'll be in memory care, he won't, but honestly by then he'll have other problems to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't he buy it himself in assisted living? When he'll be in memory care, he won't, but honestly by then he'll have other problems to worry about.

Oh he's able to buy it himself or pay someone to get it for him, no problem.

My concern is that he won't meet criteria for admission if he's an active alcoholic who would go into withdrawal if his supply is cut off. It would be a disaster if a nurse or orderly found his stash and poured it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't he buy it himself in assisted living? When he'll be in memory care, he won't, but honestly by then he'll have other problems to worry about.

Oh he's able to buy it himself or pay someone to get it for him, no problem.

My concern is that he won't meet criteria for admission if he's an active alcoholic who would go into withdrawal if his supply is cut off. It would be a disaster if a nurse or orderly found his stash and poured it out.

Really? How would he react? I assume there must be a certain number of behavioral problems (of all sorts) among seniors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't he buy it himself in assisted living? When he'll be in memory care, he won't, but honestly by then he'll have other problems to worry about.

Oh he's able to buy it himself or pay someone to get it for him, no problem.

My concern is that he won't meet criteria for admission if he's an active alcoholic who would go into withdrawal if his supply is cut off. It would be a disaster if a nurse or orderly found his stash and poured it out.

Really? How would he react? I assume there must be a certain number of behavioral problems (of all sorts) among seniors.

There can be secure physical symptoms and even death from alcohol withdrawal.

[Anonymous]

*severe.

[Anonymous]

They just gave my uncle nonalcoholic versions of his preferred drink. He did have serious memory issues, so he didn't notice the difference. I don't recall there being a withdrawal issue.

[Anonymous]

Assisted or Independent? My Dad is in an Independent home, he has his own apartment, but everything is included, meals, cleaning, etc. His apartment has a kitchen and there’s beer in the fridge. No one would think of tossing it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't he buy it himself in assisted living? When he'll be in memory care, he won't, but honestly by then he'll have other problems to worry about.

Oh he's able to buy it himself or pay someone to get it for him, no problem.

My concern is that he won't meet criteria for admission if he's an active alcoholic who would go into withdrawal if his supply is cut off. It would be a disaster if a nurse or orderly found his stash and poured it out.

Really? How would he react? I assume there must be a certain number of behavioral problems (of all sorts) among seniors.

He would be seriously ill from alcohol withdrawal. It would be life threatening.

[Anonymous]

Would it be better to hire a live-in caregiver(s) so that he can stay in his own home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assisted or Independent? My Dad is in an Independent home, he has his own apartment, but everything is included, meals, cleaning, etc. His apartment has a kitchen and there’s beer in the fridge. No one would think of tossing it out.

Independent could work for now. Our concern is that he could take a turn for the worse at any moment (history of stroke, the falling, etc) so if he were 'upgraded' to assisted then he'd still need no one to touch his booze. He cannot detox outside of a hospital setting.

Where is your father if you don't mind sharing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't he buy it himself in assisted living? When he'll be in memory care, he won't, but honestly by then he'll have other problems to worry about.

Oh he's able to buy it himself or pay someone to get it for him, no problem.

My concern is that he won't meet criteria for admission if he's an active alcoholic who would go into withdrawal if his supply is cut off. It would be a disaster if a nurse or orderly found his stash and poured it out.

Really? How would he react? I assume there must be a certain number of behavioral problems (of all sorts) among seniors.

He would be seriously ill from alcohol withdrawal. It would be life threatening.

So why would they take away his alcohol if he's a functioning alcoholic and risks withdrawal symptoms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would it be better to hire a live-in caregiver(s) so that he can stay in his own home?

We may need to do this but he is really looking for a living situation where he can have a social life.

He is a drunk, but a charming and social one. The loneliness of his living situation only makes his mental health worse.