Holding back the crazy

[Anonymous]

NP and I live on the west coast and we have:

-yard signs
-neighborhood banners
-permanent car stickers
-painted cars (and no one washes them things until the last week of August because they’re “just so busy”, but really we know they have to do 100 more laps around town so we all know they’re kid is “all-stars 202x!”)

Big drama is who is playing up and brought their coach dads with them and might bump kids who thought it was “their” turn. One dad is coaching 2 kids in two divisions and is on the LL board so everyone was fighting to get on his teams so they’d be noticed. So a bunch more kids played up to try to be on “his” teams. I haven’t even been following the boundary drama because someone explained it to me and it was so tedious but apparently it is somehow intertwined with our private school?

[Anonymous]

My son, who made All-Stars one year and not the next, plays high school ball with kids who also didn't make AS. There are AS kids who didn't make school ball. And yes, there are some kids who were standouts in Little League and who remain standouts in HS.

All that to say, go in with no expectations, enjoy it if your son makes it, and let yourself be disappointed just for a very short time if he doesn't make it. It all feels big at the moment but really in the end, it passes.

[Anonymous]

Puberty changes all these kids so much. It’s not just physical. The kids who are pushed by their dads end up quitting because they can’t handle any failure. They need their dad to put them at the top of the lineup and to coach their team for them to succeed. Most boys just have zero interest in anything that is hard. 90% of the all star team will quit baseball by varsity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Puberty changes all these kids so much. It’s not just physical. The kids who are pushed by their dads end up quitting because they can’t handle any failure. They need their dad to put them at the top of the lineup and to coach their team for them to succeed. Most boys just have zero interest in anything that is hard. 90% of the all star team will quit baseball by varsity.

90% is way too high…I would say 75% of our 2019 All star team (so HS class of 2025) is still playing and are starters on their HS team. Of that, 3 are playing in college.

Our LL is I guess unlike just about all others…we had to get a kid to agree to do it to meet the minimum team threshold by LL (I think 12 have to be named?). That kid did not continue playing and 2 others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just redirect yourself. DS for a long time was the best one one of his teams and one of the best in our area. DH and I are were never crazy into sports, DS seemed to just have a natural ability and loved the sport, so we went with it. We didn't really engage with the intense sports parents and let DS kind dictate his commitment level.

This is the right answer. If you are ok with a higher level, ask your kid and present the option to them. If you are NOT ok with a higher level of commitment or whatever it is, then just keep doing what you're doing. Ask your kid if he's having fun after the games. Say the magic words "I love watching you play" and keep living your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many parents in our little league who are the crazy sports parents that get discussed here often. They’re overly invested in their kids’ performance, very up to date on who is getting picked for what, gossiping about the kids and the coaches. It goes on and on.

I do not under any circumstance want to be one of those people. I have one kid who is just average, but my younger kid seems to be the best on his team and people keep bringing up the possibility of him being on the summer all star teams etc. Suddenly I found myself thinking about this a lot, even though objectively I don’t really care. I don’t even like baseball that much! And we have a ton of other things we could do with our time other than sit at baseball fields all summer.

How do I stop myself from falling into the crazy sport parent world before it really starts. Just stop engaging with people? Ignore it when it comes up? Redirect myself when I start thinking about it?

All Stars is 7 days a week of practices and games and travel for the tournament. And it is legitimately fun for the kids who love the game. There is a lot of pomp and circumstance- the kids walk in the Fourth of July parade together and get awards and bling rings. People try to make it special for the kids because it is special. For the nerd parents- they research all of the rules and stats. For the crafty parents- so much swag is made! For the food parents- so much potlucking!

I mention this because I know it seems to be “crazy” to obsess over it but the kids take it so seriously too. When they go back to school- they wear the all stars hats and jerseys to class. (Our league has them customized and everything.). The whole school knows who made the team- it’s very much a thing.

But it’s also ephemeral. And every baseball parent looks back on it fondly. I know you think it’s crazy- but it’s just a magical time of raw emotion for these kids. It’s a huge level of growth too.

I hope you will reconsider it next year if you have the opportunity. Your kid, if they love the sport, might ask and I hope you give it a shot.

From your description, we could live in the same town far from DC. Does your league also put yard signs out to “announce” all- star selections? I’ve had kids make the team and tryout and not make a team. They had fun the years they did it and were upset the years they got cut. Experienced the obvious bias toward connected kids and out of boundary shenanigans for travel players. I didn’t realize all the funny business when my oldest tried out at 11. His 10s year was covid cancelled, so I was just happy to see him play ball again.

But, the politics and posturing and manipulated selection process is insane. It’s got to be twice as bad this year as the town’s two little leagues combined into one. Instead of 5 majors teams in one league and 4 in the other, there are 9 in one league. Half the all-stars from last year are going to be cut this year. I’m glad my kids have aged out of those age groups.

So OP, go for it if you want, but go in eyes wide open. If your son is an absolute stud, he’ll make it. If not, prepare for disappointment.

I know exactly what league you’re in and your social media person is amazing. LOL. And yes we are nearby.

However, our league has avoided a lot of the drama so far (or I am really removed from it!) and I really hope our board keeps it that way. I do hope OP gives it shot because it really does connect the kids with the neighborhood. High schoolers help with all stars practice, scrimmages are umpired by former all stars, and there is so much love and support from everyone- even families that didn’t make it that year- because the kids with the best records tend to make the teams. (I don’t know the ins and outs of the voting process, but I can say that I haven’t been really surprised by any of the choices in previous years as our kids have a say in the voting process- how much I don’t know.)

There is a lot of politics in the DC area for all stars and I will say- I am one of those few people who love reading the stuff and pray every day not to be featured in the Athletic. I also think that if you can do it- do it. The way to keep a level head and sanity about it is to remember that there are no guarantees in sports. Injuries, family emergencies, a pandemic- it can go away in a flash. Don’t assume - go with the flow. If your kid wants it and loves it- support it. The only regret you will have is not having fun when you had the chance- whether it be on the field or off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many parents in our little league who are the crazy sports parents that get discussed here often. They’re overly invested in their kids’ performance, very up to date on who is getting picked for what, gossiping about the kids and the coaches. It goes on and on.

I do not under any circumstance want to be one of those people. I have one kid who is just average, but my younger kid seems to be the best on his team and people keep bringing up the possibility of him being on the summer all star teams etc. Suddenly I found myself thinking about this a lot, even though objectively I don’t really care. I don’t even like baseball that much! And we have a ton of other things we could do with our time other than sit at baseball fields all summer.

How do I stop myself from falling into the crazy sport parent world before it really starts. Just stop engaging with people? Ignore it when it comes up? Redirect myself when I start thinking about it?

All Stars is 7 days a week of practices and games and travel for the tournament. And it is legitimately fun for the kids who love the game. There is a lot of pomp and circumstance- the kids walk in the Fourth of July parade together and get awards and bling rings. People try to make it special for the kids because it is special. For the nerd parents- they research all of the rules and stats. For the crafty parents- so much swag is made! For the food parents- so much potlucking!

I mention this because I know it seems to be “crazy” to obsess over it but the kids take it so seriously too. When they go back to school- they wear the all stars hats and jerseys to class. (Our league has them customized and everything.). The whole school knows who made the team- it’s very much a thing.

But it’s also ephemeral. And every baseball parent looks back on it fondly. I know you think it’s crazy- but it’s just a magical time of raw emotion for these kids. It’s a huge level of growth too.

I hope you will reconsider it next year if you have the opportunity. Your kid, if they love the sport, might ask and I hope you give it a shot.

Are most teams like this? In softball too? DD made it for the first time this year and I'm surprised at how little they're doing. They couldn't even tell us the schedule until after rec ended, which was last weekend. And the games start in two weeks. They're having fewer than 10 practices/meetups, best I can tell. Is that unusual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many parents in our little league who are the crazy sports parents that get discussed here often. They’re overly invested in their kids’ performance, very up to date on who is getting picked for what, gossiping about the kids and the coaches. It goes on and on.

I do not under any circumstance want to be one of those people. I have one kid who is just average, but my younger kid seems to be the best on his team and people keep bringing up the possibility of him being on the summer all star teams etc. Suddenly I found myself thinking about this a lot, even though objectively I don’t really care. I don’t even like baseball that much! And we have a ton of other things we could do with our time other than sit at baseball fields all summer.

How do I stop myself from falling into the crazy sport parent world before it really starts. Just stop engaging with people? Ignore it when it comes up? Redirect myself when I start thinking about it?

All Stars is 7 days a week of practices and games and travel for the tournament. And it is legitimately fun for the kids who love the game. There is a lot of pomp and circumstance- the kids walk in the Fourth of July parade together and get awards and bling rings. People try to make it special for the kids because it is special. For the nerd parents- they research all of the rules and stats. For the crafty parents- so much swag is made! For the food parents- so much potlucking!

I mention this because I know it seems to be “crazy” to obsess over it but the kids take it so seriously too. When they go back to school- they wear the all stars hats and jerseys to class. (Our league has them customized and everything.). The whole school knows who made the team- it’s very much a thing.

But it’s also ephemeral. And every baseball parent looks back on it fondly. I know you think it’s crazy- but it’s just a magical time of raw emotion for these kids. It’s a huge level of growth too.

I hope you will reconsider it next year if you have the opportunity. Your kid, if they love the sport, might ask and I hope you give it a shot.

Are most teams like this? In softball too? DD made it for the first time this year and I'm surprised at how little they're doing. They couldn't even tell us the schedule until after rec ended, which was last weekend. And the games start in two weeks. They're having fewer than 10 practices/meetups, best I can tell. Is that unusual?

For Little League or for other softball all-stars? For independent league all-stars it might be more like softball travel (2x practices a week) or even more like rec.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see so many parents in our little league who are the crazy sports parents that get discussed here often. They’re overly invested in their kids’ performance, very up to date on who is getting picked for what, gossiping about the kids and the coaches. It goes on and on.

I do not under any circumstance want to be one of those people. I have one kid who is just average, but my younger kid seems to be the best on his team and people keep bringing up the possibility of him being on the summer all star teams etc. Suddenly I found myself thinking about this a lot, even though objectively I don’t really care. I don’t even like baseball that much! And we have a ton of other things we could do with our time other than sit at baseball fields all summer.

How do I stop myself from falling into the crazy sport parent world before it really starts. Just stop engaging with people? Ignore it when it comes up? Redirect myself when I start thinking about it?

All Stars is 7 days a week of practices and games and travel for the tournament. And it is legitimately fun for the kids who love the game. There is a lot of pomp and circumstance- the kids walk in the Fourth of July parade together and get awards and bling rings. People try to make it special for the kids because it is special. For the nerd parents- they research all of the rules and stats. For the crafty parents- so much swag is made! For the food parents- so much potlucking!

I mention this because I know it seems to be “crazy” to obsess over it but the kids take it so seriously too. When they go back to school- they wear the all stars hats and jerseys to class. (Our league has them customized and everything.). The whole school knows who made the team- it’s very much a thing.

But it’s also ephemeral. And every baseball parent looks back on it fondly. I know you think it’s crazy- but it’s just a magical time of raw emotion for these kids. It’s a huge level of growth too.

I hope you will reconsider it next year if you have the opportunity. Your kid, if they love the sport, might ask and I hope you give it a shot.

Are most teams like this? In softball too? DD made it for the first time this year and I'm surprised at how little they're doing. They couldn't even tell us the schedule until after rec ended, which was last weekend. And the games start in two weeks. They're having fewer than 10 practices/meetups, best I can tell. Is that unusual?

For Little League or for other softball all-stars? For independent league all-stars it might be more like softball travel (2x practices a week) or even more like rec.

LL all stars (what's independent league all stars?)