Holding back the crazy

[Anonymous]

I see so many parents in our little league who are the crazy sports parents that get discussed here often. They’re overly invested in their kids’ performance, very up to date on who is getting picked for what, gossiping about the kids and the coaches. It goes on and on.

I do not under any circumstance want to be one of those people. I have one kid who is just average, but my younger kid seems to be the best on his team and people keep bringing up the possibility of him being on the summer all star teams etc. Suddenly I found myself thinking about this a lot, even though objectively I don’t really care. I don’t even like baseball that much! And we have a ton of other things we could do with our time other than sit at baseball fields all summer.

How do I stop myself from falling into the crazy sport parent world before it really starts. Just stop engaging with people? Ignore it when it comes up? Redirect myself when I start thinking about it?

[Anonymous]

Just redirect yourself. DS for a long time was the best one one of his teams and one of the best in our area. DH and I are were never crazy into sports, DS seemed to just have a natural ability and loved the sport, so we went with it. We didn't really engage with the intense sports parents and let DS kind dictate his commitment level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see so many parents in our little league who are the crazy sports parents that get discussed here often. They’re overly invested in their kids’ performance, very up to date on who is getting picked for what, gossiping about the kids and the coaches. It goes on and on.

I do not under any circumstance want to be one of those people. I have one kid who is just average, but my younger kid seems to be the best on his team and people keep bringing up the possibility of him being on the summer all star teams etc. Suddenly I found myself thinking about this a lot, even though objectively I don’t really care. I don’t even like baseball that much! And we have a ton of other things we could do with our time other than sit at baseball fields all summer.

How do I stop myself from falling into the crazy sport parent world before it really starts. Just stop engaging with people? Ignore it when it comes up? Redirect myself when I start thinking about it?

I don’t get what you’re asking. You’re allowed to be invested in and support your own son’s involvement to whatever level he chooses and is capable of without being crazy and certainly without gossiping about other kids.

I’m guessing he would be thrilled to be on the all star team, and it’s okay for you to be excited for him!

[Anonymous]

I TOTALLY get it. You want to stay sane around overly competitive parents. I cannot say that I have a good answer.

However, when I feel like parents are pushing too hard I often refer them to articles like this and it seems to show down the crazy.

Ultimately, ALL we get to say at the end of the sport is “I love to watch you play.” That’s it. No overly involved parent even wants to HEAR this . . . So it will shut it down a bit.

https://ilovetowatchyouplay.com/2025/04/11/6-common-mistakes-even-well-meaning-sports-parents-make-and-how-to-avoid-them/

[Anonymous]

Longtime baseball parent here. Little league can get really crazy- and it is very magnified when it comes to selection of the all star teams. So unfortunately- it is normal. And gets worse and worse until the kids age out of LL…unfortunately.

My advice is to be friendly with parents but talk about anything OTHER than baseball- with the exception of nice things about your kid’s team in general “the boys played great today!” “the kids are really improving- so many great plays today” blah blah. Nothing else baseball related. If people bring it up with you, just nod and smile & then change the subject to something else. If people are gossiping, politely excuse yourself. It can be helpful to sit away from others (greet everyone and be friendly, but then go sit down away from the group).

A lot of these parents get very wrapped up in things, and often this will backfire later on. Best for yourself and your kid to be the “they are so nice, but are quiet and tend to keep to themselves” type of parents.

[Anonymous]

Stop engaging is step 1 for sure. For a while I thought I could keep engaging with the people who were originating these conversations and just redirect them, but they were too competitive and scheming for that.

The above advice about saying hi and then sitting elsewhere is solid. My DD does gymnastics and those parents are unhinged. I’ll say hi to the big group but I’ve carefully constructed habits at meets for myself so that I can sit apart from the main crazies group without repercussions for me or my DD. Some parents think I like watching certain events from unique angle x, others think I’m anxious and have to pace during meets, others think I have lots of friends on other teams, too, so I’m just buzzing around being social.

The truth is that I’m constantly on the move to stay away from my DD’s teammates’ crazy parents! Getting to know lots of people from our area who are affiliated with different teams is just a bonus.

The other thing I do is always receive compliments for my DD graciously but flip them around right away. You never, ever want to be perceived as the parent of the kid who is doing better or getting more attention, deservedly or not. You need to be like a traffic cop and redirect attention elsewhere and evenly, too. I cheer loudly and equally for every kid by name and even have the same little routine for each kid that’s up lest someone accuse me of saying good job to one kid but great job to the other. People probably think I’m weird but enthusiastic and generally oblivious to where the kids stand relative to one another, and that works for me.

[Anonymous]

I was in the exact same position. My kid, who had never played before, was suddenly talked about for All Stars. It had never occured to me they'd play in the summer and suddenly it was A THING in our house. Just try your best to foster a love of the game with no pressure about what comes next. They make the team-- great! They don't -- they'll play again in the fall! As you'll see on this forum, the best kids don't always make all stars for a variety of reasons.

And watch the movie All Stars to learn how not to be. It correctly points out that 10U parents are the worst, because they all still think their kid is going pro.

[Anonymous]

Read "Take Back the Game" about the evolution of youth sports and crazy. The author has two kids who are average and one who was exceptional and has lived this first hand!

[Anonymous]

Honestly just stay in Rec. Say no to travel. I don’t think there is any way to avoid the craziness of it otherwise. There is no way to avoid pressure for private lessons, indoor facilities memberships, $500 bats, etc. The easiest way is to just not do down that road to begin with. I’m in the process of unwinding it all and regret ever doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly just stay in Rec. Say no to travel. I don’t think there is any way to avoid the craziness of it otherwise. There is no way to avoid pressure for private lessons, indoor facilities memberships, $500 bats, etc. The easiest way is to just not do down that road to begin with. I’m in the process of unwinding it all and regret ever doing it.

I find the LL parents (the subset that gossips, overly cares, etc.) way more crazy than anything in travel. It's more insular and the same kids year after year. You could not pay me to do LL All-Stars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly just stay in Rec. Say no to travel. I don’t think there is any way to avoid the craziness of it otherwise. There is no way to avoid pressure for private lessons, indoor facilities memberships, $500 bats, etc. The easiest way is to just not do down that road to begin with. I’m in the process of unwinding it all and regret ever doing it.

I find the LL parents (the subset that gossips, overly cares, etc.) way more crazy than anything in travel. It's more insular and the same kids year after year. You could not pay me to do LL All-Stars.

+100

I found LL to have WAY crazier parents than travel. Especially anything to do with all stars. So much drama. There are some crazy parents in travel as well- but at least you have the option to switch teams if it gets to be too much.

Also not all “travel” ball (especially at the younger ages) is super expensive or terribly more consuming than LL. Many younger teams just play in local doubleheader leagues and do a few local tournaments (maybe traveling a few hours away a few times per year).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly just stay in Rec. Say no to travel. I don’t think there is any way to avoid the craziness of it otherwise. There is no way to avoid pressure for private lessons, indoor facilities memberships, $500 bats, etc. The easiest way is to just not do down that road to begin with. I’m in the process of unwinding it all and regret ever doing it.

I find the LL parents (the subset that gossips, overly cares, etc.) way more crazy than anything in travel. It's more insular and the same kids year after year. You could not pay me to do LL All-Stars.

+100

I found LL to have WAY crazier parents than travel. Especially anything to do with all stars. So much drama. There are some crazy parents in travel as well- but at least you have the option to switch teams if it gets to be too much.

Also not all “travel” ball (especially at the younger ages) is super expensive or terribly more consuming than LL. Many younger teams just play in local doubleheader leagues and do a few local tournaments (maybe traveling a few hours away a few times per year).

So our town had their all-star team go to the LLWS two years ago. You would not believe the next-level drama this stoked during their run up to the World Series and then the two years after. Parents of 5 year olds have realized the power that coaches eventually have to get kids into all-stars, so they’re all but fighting to be assistant coach #2 in tee ball so they can get their kid on the inside from day 1. Parents of 10-11 year olds have turned gossipy and generally psycho, and the entire baseball cohort of boys ages 8-11 at school are known as instigators of fights and arguments, overly competitive, and trash talkers and bullies.

The kids and parents outside of LL are not like this at all.

[Anonymous]

Went the LL route with first kid and could not believe what we experienced with bonkers parents and politics etc. Younger kids played low level travel (ie mostly local, very limited actual travel) and although we were a little wary given all we’d heard about crazy travel parents, our experience was much better and parents were far more sane. People got a little weird as the kids approached HS because everyone was nervous about making their teams. But that intensity seemed much more age appropriate and had to do with extra training vs politics and other related BS in LL.

[Anonymous]

All stars isn’t all summer. It’s like 3 weeks of your kid makes the team, ask him what he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Just follow your kid’s lead. Little League is awful when it comes to all stars. Truly nuts. FYI that people also cheat on residency to get on certain teams.