Question for those who married their first intimate partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say I regret it, but I’m curious, but I’m curious about a lot of things, so I don’t know that this holds much weight. We’ve always been exceptionally compatible, very attuned, and very adventurous. It’s a lot of fun.

Curious too. Have given this some thought.

One way to mutually and legally address that could be a vacation together in an adult resort along the lines of something like Hedonism II.

There, you could at a minimum see other people who are nearly or completely undressed, and they are in public so they WANT you to see them undressed. This is key: it’s all consensual.

You might also see people doing , you-know-what, of many types, in some areas, but again: where the people want to be watched. Maybe that’s enough to satisfy anyone’s curiosity? But it’s best to do this as a couple and stay together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most people probably don’t marry the best sex of their life.

Agree, but you should at least know what good "is" before committing to a life partner, otherwise, you could end up with someone really selfish and bad in bed.

You don’t need multiple partners to know that someone is selfish and that you haven’t had an o.

This! If your partner isn't having reliable O's, your either selfish or incompetent. Especially if you've been together for a long time!

[Anonymous]

What’s your goal? Find the undisputed world champion of sex? Because that’s the only way to know there’s no better sex partner out there. Good luck with that.

You should learn to be happy with what you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most people probably don’t marry the best sex of their life.

Agree, but you should at least know what good "is" before committing to a life partner, otherwise, you could end up with someone really selfish and bad in bed.

You don’t need multiple partners to know that someone is selfish and that you haven’t had an o.

This! If your partner isn't having reliable O's, you’re either selfish or incompetent. Especially if you've been together for a long time!

I hate this kind of messaging. Not all women are able to O at a reliable degree. It doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them, nor their partner. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

I didn’t marry my first, but might as well have been, I was very inexperienced. Part of the fun has been exploring and trying new things together over the years. We didn’t prioritize sex during the kid years, and it dropped off an awful lot. Now that they are a bit older, it’s easier and we have more time together, and have committed to re-prioritizing our marriage and sex life. It took me a long time before I could reliably O during intercourse; a combination of my own inexperience, not knowing what does it for me, but also rushing through the process. We’d set aside some time for it, but ended up rushing through just to “complete the task”. Check, we had sex this week. Better than nothing, but not fully satisfactory for either of us. What I’ve learned- if you have the time, make the time. If you make the time, take the time! Do the massage, take the bath, shower together, enjoy each other. Sex is a beautiful experience that you share together; it’s not something that is done to one or the other.

That said, don’t go looking for trouble where there is none. Why are you considering cheating? Is it just about sex or are you feeling unsatisfied in other aspects of the relationship? Women have so much crap on their shoulders daily, if your partner isn’t stepping up in other areas it might be poisoning the well so to speak. You can never know if what you have is the best; there are 8 billion other people on earth. Is someone a better lay than you/your spouse? Probably. Just like there is someone more beautiful, or with a better body, or smarter or richer or or or, etc etc etc. you chose your husband for a reason, don’t blow up your life because you think there is someone better out there. The grass is green where you water it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your goal? Find the undisputed world champion of sex? Because that’s the only way to know there’s no better sex partner out there. Good luck with that.

You should learn to be happy with what you have.

Even those P-stars having sex with 1000 men a day will never find out. They’d be going for 20,000 years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most people probably don’t marry the best sex of their life.

Agree, but you should at least know what good "is" before committing to a life partner, otherwise, you could end up with someone really selfish and bad in bed.

We met young enough that I didn’t have any experience beforehand to compare with, so I don’t know what “good” is and I think maybe I’ve never experienced it, but I’ve had my “good enough”.

Even if you find a guy who gives you “good” sex, not just “good enough”, how do you know there isn’t better out there? There is always a guy out there who is better than your guy, so your guy is always just “good enough”.

I have had the best. When you know you know. It’s like I spent my entire life waiting for it up until that point, and the rest of my life afterwards hoping to get it again. Unfortunately, that guy wasn’t marriage material, the relationship lasted a month or two. Realistically, I know the sex wouldn’t have been as great as the first couple times if we’d stayed together, but it’s nice fantasy material. Sex with DH when we first met was not quite at that level, but close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your goal? Find the undisputed world champion of sex? Because that’s the only way to know there’s no better sex partner out there. Good luck with that.

You should learn to be happy with what you have.

If he ain't got the credentials, he ain't got potential!

[Anonymous]

I love love love my husband to bits, but he is not the best I’ve had. I wouldn’t give up our life even if a millionaire pornstar begged me to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:most people probably don’t marry the best sex of their life.

Agree, but you should at least know what good "is" before committing to a life partner, otherwise, you could end up with someone really selfish and bad in bed.

You don’t need multiple partners to know that someone is selfish and that you haven’t had an o.

This! If your partner isn't having reliable O's, your either selfish or incompetent. Especially if you've been together for a long time!

Need to add a shaky-thing to that bedroom ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love love love my husband to bits, but he is not the best I’ve had. I wouldn’t give up our life even if a millionaire pornstar begged me to.

Pornstars are gross. So is sex outside of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love love love my husband to bits, but he is not the best I’ve had. I wouldn’t give up our life even if a millionaire pornstar begged me to.

Pornstars are gross. So is sex outside of marriage.

Er ok? What does that have to do with this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s your goal? Find the undisputed world champion of sex? Because that’s the only way to know there’s no better sex partner out there. Good luck with that.

You should learn to be happy with what you have.

This^ or improve yourself and help who you have to improve as well.

[Anonymous]

Met my first intimate partner at 20, married at 25, we are now 45.

I have zero regrets. We have a fantastic sex life and I just love him so much. He’s truly my best friend, too. I am very fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

I didn't marry my first. I had plenty before her, but after being married for a while I wish she was the only one. None of it before was as fulfilling I guess? Im no really sure but that's how I feel

[Anonymous]

Sexual relationships change with relationship changes, kids, illness, stress, aging etc. Most people have sex lives that ebb and flow and go through good times and less good times regardless of whether it is their 1st partner or 10th partner or 50th partner.

And if you are sexually satisfied and have an active sex life that gives you great pleasure, who cares what or who else is out there.