Is it odd to ask friend to borrow kid dress for a special occasion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask where they got it and if they offer to loan it then borrow it.
We have several kids, and I no longer loan clothes except to very close friends. Once we had a full suit left at a wedding hotel, and another time had a dress completely ruined, yet returned. My younger kids could have used both of these items.

+1 I like this approach. "Where did you get that dress that your DD wore to XYZ event-it's so beautiful and we'd like to look at something similar for DD." They either give you the shop's name or offer you their dress. Would your DD cringe if people recognize the dress and ask if it's the same one that so-and-so wore last year?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on how close you are to this friend. If they are a friend and not just an acquaintance, I would think you could ask to borrow. But as noted by another poster, , give her an out that allows her to say no easily without feeling uncomfortable. If a friend asked me where I bought my child's dress, I wouldn't necessarily offer to lend it. I might assume that they did not ask to borrow precisely because they were not interested in borrowing or did not feel comfortable borrowing.

[Anonymous]

Is she at an age where the dress would definitely be outgrown and passed on? I'd be more likely to lend out a dress if it was something we'd be getting rid of anyway.

[Anonymous]

I would say something like “I loved that dress Layla wore for first communion last year. I was wondering if you still have it and if you’d be willing to lend it to Karla? But if you’re saving it for a relative or just as a keepsake for her, I totally understand if you don’t want to lend it —it was so beautiful.” So that gives her an out to say she already oromised it to her sister in law or had it enshrined in amber or whatever. Frankly I have a closet full of super expensive girls dresses that I would love to find a new home for. I took a bunch of them to consignment just to get rid of them and they gave me $10 each for dresses that cost hundreds of dollars new.

[Anonymous]

Not ok to ask.

[Anonymous]

Does the dress still fit the kid and is it replaceable? That would impact my response and how I would react to this request.

[Anonymous]

Asking for a specific dress puts them in a difficult position if they don’t want to lend it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say something like “I loved that dress Layla wore for first communion last year. I was wondering if you still have it and if you’d be willing to lend it to Karla? But if you’re saving it for a relative or just as a keepsake for her, I totally understand if you don’t want to lend it —it was so beautiful.” So that gives her an out to say she already oromised it to her sister in law or had it enshrined in amber or whatever. Frankly I have a closet full of super expensive girls dresses that I would love to find a new home for. I took a bunch of them to consignment just to get rid of them and they gave me $10 each for dresses that cost hundreds of dollars new.

Can I ask what your HHI is, that you could afford a closet full of girl dresses that cost hundreds of dollars new? And are there any particular reasons you needed these nice dresses for your daughter? Is she some type of performer? Sorry but I find it fascinating.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird given how “unique” and “stunning” the dress was.

Just get your daughter her own dress and stop mooching/copying.

Normally I’m all about sharing but this just runs me the wrong way. (I only have boys, for what it’s worth.)

[Anonymous]

Never had anyone ask to borrow anything from kids..

[Anonymous]

I borrowed a friend’s homecoming dress. It was fine. I was very grateful. Totally fine to ask a friend, as long as it’s not a very expensive purchase for the family. If the dress in question had hand beading or other special details, I wouldn’t ask. Anything from a basic mall brand is okay.

[Anonymous]

OP ou should definitely ask because all these wilting flowers who are "uncomfortable with requests" need your help to learn how to politely state their boundaries, and learn how to be comfortable handling requests for things they are not comfortable saying yes to.

Obviously you should only ask if you are comfortable paying to replace anything damaged while you borrow it

And you should be striking a balance betwe favors you ask and favors you give.

But you should also get into the Buy Nothing style networks, because that's where people proactively circulate used goods.

[Anonymous]

OP, would you be willing to lend your own dress to this friend after people saw you in the dress, it made an impression, and people remember you in that dress and perhaps have pictures of you in it?

Because the dress was so memorable and associated with the other girl, I would not ask to borrow it. I would totally ask to borrow a last-year’s store made Halloween costume or a pair of black pants, etc. that you only ned once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two boys and a daughter. With my boys, it was not strange for a friend to ask to borrow a suit or a costume since we bought these outfits for a 1 day event.

Is it odd to ask a friend to borrow a special occasion dress?

I don’t think girls ask to borrow a flower girl dress or a prom dress. This outfit I want to borrow is a costume for a special event. The friend’s dress was beautiful and received many compliments.

Not sure if it matters but we live in an affluent area. We can easily afford to spend a hundred or two on this dress but I know my daughter will wear the dress once and outgrow. Girls are in elementary and I highly doubt this girl would ever wear this dress again.

Personally, I would not ask. I would feel funny lending my daughter's dress because we do wear our dresses more frequently. It would seem like you are being cheap.

Just buy a dress

Op here. We are in a better financial position. I guess if someone asked me to borrow, I would be glad to lend since my child would likely never wear it again. With my boys, my boys only wore for a few hours and I was glad if a friend could get a use out of it.

It was a stunning dress. I will just ask where she bought it. If she offers to lend it, I will accept. If not, I will just buy the dress.

I think this is a good solution for a variety of possible situations; not knowing how good of friends you are with her, what the dress was for, if she would likely wear it more, if it was particularly special (made by a relative, etc), or if you would even know these things.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't bother me at all.