WWYD: Move to Cali for career opp or stay in VA

[Anonymous]

OP here -

To be clear, it’s my DH parents. And we would consider flying them over every month to see their grandchildren. All other family is in NYC area and we do get together every three months - we’ve always been cross country.

Since we are both in big tech, the move in consideration is also a safety net. A lot of our jobs are going back to Hub and RTO. And there just isn’t another career field (apart from Med or big law big lobby) that can pay as well as Big Tech here in DC. The career advancement and opportunities are limited. In the Bay Area, tech companies are plentiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

To be clear, it’s my DH parents. And we would consider flying them over every month to see their grandchildren. All other family is in NYC area and we do get together every three months - we’ve always been cross country.

Since we are both in big tech, the move in consideration is also a safety net. A lot of our jobs are going back to Hub and RTO. And there just isn’t another career field (apart from Med or big law big lobby) that can pay as well as Big Tech here in DC. The career advancement and opportunities are limited. In the Bay Area, tech companies are plentiful.

I think it makes sense OP, it will just get harder as your kids get older. If you’re still in DC area 5 years from now you’ll regret not giving it a shot. I know from personal experience. Plus, this will probably change in about 4 years, but right now DC is not the place it was just 3 months ago. Way more upside and room for growth in the Bay Area.

Have you considered Los Gatos/Saratoga? Not too far from Mountain View, and totally different vibe than the rest of Silicon Valley. Good school district, without the intensity as some of the other school districts further up north in SV.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks PP! I don’t know much about the area apart from google search and YouTube videos worth maybe 5-10 hours. Do you mind explaining why Los Gatos is a place we should consider?

For context - LOVE farmers market, love walkability, would like a safe place, small town vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you had the opportunity to move to the Bay Area (around silicon valley) for an increase in longer term work opportunities, but would need to leave family help (one set of grandparents) behind, would you do it?

A few stats:
2 kids, school age
Spouse can move states with no impact on career, bay area could be a net benefit
Comp would get adjusted for new location, but no immediate promotion for the move. However, long term opportunities exist which don't in VA

Pros:
-Better outdoors lifestyle
-Better career opportunities
-Better weather

Cons:
-Leaving family and friends
-Higher housing costs and taxes

What did I miss? What would you do?

TIA

I would move in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

Native Californian here. One thing to keep in mind is that wildfires have become a major, year-round feature of living anywhere in CA. That has occurred at an alarming rate over the past 5-8 years and will only get worse. The air quality can be hazardous during fires, and insurance rates are skyrocketing. A friend of mine (also native Californian) moved away from the Peninsula (to Seattle) because of the intolerable air quality.
Schools there are also hyper-competitive, which would be a concern for the kids.
Lots of tech folks have moved to our area in Nova from the Bay Area.
I do miss CA, but it's not the same place it used to be. And as you know, the Peninsula is insanely expensive.

[Anonymous]

As a Californian, we will only accept you if you erase "Cali" from your vocabulary. Also, don't ever call it "San Fran."

[Anonymous]

Actually if you’re willing to consider Los Gatos then definitely do that. Less pressure cooker environment and schools are better. Just tougher to get to SF. Caltrain is ok for Mountain View to Burlingame but you need to factor in walking/Google biking distances to actual offices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually if you’re willing to consider Los Gatos then definitely do that. Less pressure cooker environment and schools are better. Just tougher to get to SF. Caltrain is ok for Mountain View to Burlingame but you need to factor in walking/Google biking distances to actual offices.

OP here. From my initial search Los Gatos seems great. Commute is to Silicon Valley (Mountain View / Sunnyvale) so getting to SF is not a concern. Burlingame also seems like you get more bang for your buck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a Californian, we will only accept you if you erase "Cali" from your vocabulary. Also, don't ever call it "San Fran."

I prefer "Frisco". That's what sailors called it.

Also, SAN >> L.A. >> SF >> SJ >> OAK

[Anonymous]

Op what do you do in BigTech are you programmers or in AI?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the commentary this is really helpful... How is the CalTrain? Looking possibly at Burlingame. Heard it's nice to live. The CalTrain can take me to Sunnyvale in 35 ish minutes. DH and I both work in big tech.

Yep, id live in San Mateo. Good schools, great walkability (for California so the bar is in hell), lovely yoga studio, a bit less pressure/pretense, the most beautiful farmers market location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks PP! I don’t know much about the area apart from google search and YouTube videos worth maybe 5-10 hours. Do you mind explaining why Los Gatos is a place we should consider?

For context - LOVE farmers market, love walkability, would like a safe place, small town vibe.

Los Gatos has a cute downtown. It’s right up against the hills/goes into the hills so there’s decent hiking right nearby and it’s on the way to Santa Cruz. I believe they have a weekend farmers market. I grew up in one of the “pressure cooker” towns nearby and I got the sense that the Los Gatos schools were chiller, but that was decades ago now. I’d check commute times, though.

[Anonymous]

It depends what field of work you're in, even if you are in Big Tech. I agree that there are few lucrative tech opportunities here in DC, and that it is a good bet for your career.

But the cost of living is significantly higher and the school environment is quite competitive. Arguably significantly more competitive there than in VA, mostly because of the parents. As ridiculous as it sounds, $900K won't get you very far. And given your job field, I'd want to save a lot, and aggressively, given job security really is not a given.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would do it. But I am from socal and went to grad school in berkeley.

Its expensive and complicated but people figure it out. We have family in the city, one non profit and one tech job, granted they bought their victorian years ago, but they make between 3-400k and live a great life. One thing that really strikes me when I visit is that they have an amazing network of friends all over and are all super active: hiking, skiing, camping, etc, and the kids are all friends and roam all over the city on public transportation. School was definitely harder to figure out but both kids did magnet public up to high school, then private. One now in UC and the other applying out of state.

You're looking in areas where there is more uniform wealth, better public schools in some areas, and you'll have the HHI to do more than fine. There are intangibles that make it worth it for some people (I am one of them) but the downsides of paradise are real: high taxes, housing costs, commute (caltrain is good though), fires/insurance costs.

I would move back if we could afford it and get jobs--I came close a few years ago, but it didn't pan out. I think about scraping our pennies together to retire there.

[Anonymous]

If you have technical roles in BigTech, I think it's a no-brainer career-wise.

With your HHI, you'll be more than fine in the Bay Area, but you do need to set realistic expectations about what buys what where in terms of housing etc.

Overall, you should move here (I'm in the Bay Area) if you think you'll like living here. There are goods and bads, but the outdoor lifestyle is like few other places.