WWYD: Move to Cali for career opp or stay in VA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved to DC from CA (SF) and you could not pay me to move back to CA again. It's a personality type. I like seasons. I hate wildfires. I don't actually hike every weekend and surf before work. I don't ski. I enjoy going to wine country but am realistically only in Napa once or twice a year. The traffic is terrible. The state is horribly run. Taxes are very high. Cost of living is insane.

Yeah you don’t sound like a good fit for CA. Glad you left and made room for those that enjoy taking advantage of one of the most scenic geographic areas in the country.

OP has two BIG JOBS. I doubt they are taking weekly hikes. I love the climate but to make it there is harder than NY, you go there when actually rich to enjoy it, but OP is not quite there yet.

[Anonymous]

Everyone I know who lives or used to live in northern CA who doesn't like it are not outdoorsy people. OP - really think about how much you will take advantage of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know who lives or used to live in northern CA who doesn't like it are not outdoorsy people. OP - really think about how much you will take advantage of it.

What’s funny is that people who are outdoorsy from California can’t really handle any other climate than the air-conditioned low humidity Mediterranean climate.

Real outdoorsy people enjoy the hot dc humid summers paddling on the Potomac or hiking Shenandoah, biking on the rails to tails in hot or cold.

I love parts of California, and if you live on the water it’s beautiful (like anywhere with water) or in the mountains it’s great.

The peninsula is okay, but there are so few trees unless you head to Santa Cruz or Marin. And of course East Bay is all desert, and gets up to 120F regularly.

[Anonymous]

No here,
I made that move 10 years ago (DC to Burlingame). Children are now 12 and 8.

I had a really hard time adjusting to the lack of seasons and miss being closer to family (Boston and New York). But the older grandparents wouldn’t be that helpful these days anyway and were too far away for day to day care. My DH is a scientist and my job was transferable.
We haven’t been able to buy a home (HHi 250k) and my kids’ perception is warped - they offer to put things away when I have a big grocery bill, even though we tell them we’re fine. The fires not only stress me out but also trigger my asthma and my children’s. Also, there are no school buses and regular violence / fights on the city bus my 12 year old rides (though she can avoid it). Those are a list of cons

Somewhere in the middle - we use public schools and they are fine. Our 12 year old is very studious, it will interesting to see how they serve our 8 year old who struggles more. Funding per capita in CA is some of the lowest in the nation and funding per capita in Burlingame is lower than CA averages - large parent donations are expected and used to supplement the school funding. But obviously plenty of people go to Burlingame public school and go on to good colleges / careers. You don’t *have* to use private schools.

Something to think about - the trains are really loud and blow their whistles all night long. In Burlingame if you want to be walkable to anything you also hear the train. Some cities (like San Carlos) have bridges over the tracks for traffic and the trains don’t have to blow their whistles all the time. With your budget and work location I’d look at Palo Alto or Mountain View. (We get a lot of rain, so be careful too if you find a place on or near a creek.)

Positives - we can easily get to mountains and ocean and be outside all the time. Our older daughter pkay soccer almost everyday - her team takes about 3 weeks off a year - which she loves. While parts of CA are very red, living in a liberal area where the state has enough money to pursue certain initiatives even as the country goes another direction is appealing.

All in all I miss DC (though these days suspect the vibe is different) AND think the move was good for our careers and for our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. More than decent chance that we will also receive a 7 figure wind-fall / early inheritance. That plays into our decision too to have a better quality of life.

If you are going to get a fat inheritance, then yes, even more reason to move. Life is short. Take the opportunity to try out the bay area. But I also wouldn't be gunning so hard at work then. I imagine you have a lot saved, you already make a lot, and you are going to get even more. How hard do you want to work?

OP here. Couldn't imagine not working. DH and I are both competitive at work and top leaders. Having this safety net is a bit of a cherry on top for sure.

You might not like California then. It’s more work to live than live to work. Even in the Bay Area plenty of people have dreams to never work again

Really is PPT and Outlook that amazing? Learn to have fun!

I don't think that's true. Lots of very driven people in the Bay Area, in lots of fields. When I lived there, I felt it was extremely wotk-focused. People are busy and driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No here,
I made that move 10 years ago (DC to Burlingame). Children are now 12 and 8.

I had a really hard time adjusting to the lack of seasons and miss being closer to family (Boston and New York). But the older grandparents wouldn’t be that helpful these days anyway and were too far away for day to day care. My DH is a scientist and my job was transferable.
We haven’t been able to buy a home (HHi 250k) and my kids’ perception is warped - they offer to put things away when I have a big grocery bill, even though we tell them we’re fine. The fires not only stress me out but also trigger my asthma and my children’s. Also, there are no school buses and regular violence / fights on the city bus my 12 year old rides (though she can avoid it). Those are a list of cons

Somewhere in the middle - we use public schools and they are fine. Our 12 year old is very studious, it will interesting to see how they serve our 8 year old who struggles more. Funding per capita in CA is some of the lowest in the nation and funding per capita in Burlingame is lower than CA averages - large parent donations are expected and used to supplement the school funding. But obviously plenty of people go to Burlingame public school and go on to good colleges / careers. You don’t *have* to use private schools.

Something to think about - the trains are really loud and blow their whistles all night long. In Burlingame if you want to be walkable to anything you also hear the train. Some cities (like San Carlos) have bridges over the tracks for traffic and the trains don’t have to blow their whistles all the time. With your budget and work location I’d look at Palo Alto or Mountain View. (We get a lot of rain, so be careful too if you find a place on or near a creek.)

Positives - we can easily get to mountains and ocean and be outside all the time. Our older daughter pkay soccer almost everyday - her team takes about 3 weeks off a year - which she loves. While parts of CA are very red, living in a liberal area where the state has enough money to pursue certain initiatives even as the country goes another direction is appealing.

All in all I miss DC (though these days suspect the vibe is different) AND think the move was good for our careers and for our children.

OP here - thank you for your thoughtful post. We are not set on Burlingame and have heard complaints about the train noise. Do you also have noise coming from planes from SFO? Other areas we were considering are Palo Alto, Mountain View, Lost Altos, and Los Gatos. What we like about Burlingame is the small town feel, and the downtown. To be also very clear, we don't know these areas personally.. we are planning on traveling there soon to neighborhood hunt.

[Anonymous]

OP works for Google

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/yourmoney/article-14641049/Tech-giant-demands-staff-return-office-three-days-week-lose-job.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP works for Google

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/yourmoney/article-14641049/Tech-giant-demands-staff-return-office-three-days-week-lose-job.html

You know there's 2 Google campuses in DC metro area, right?

[Anonymous]

I’m the pp who moved to Burlingame. We picked it for a few reasons: (1) DH at the time had a daily commute to a lab in South San Francisco and my job required me to go once a week to my office in San Francisco (I took the train; DH took the car (he changed jobs and now teleworks full time and I telework most the time. My office moved further away but I only go in about once a month now); (2) I didn’t want to live further north / closer to the city because I was worried about feeling cold all the time / the fog; and (3) I didn’t realize how important it was for me to live somewhere with trees. Since we moved for his job (and I didn’t want to move), he gave me a lot of leeway in picking our location. The company that hired him paid for 8 weeks of temporary housing and one scouting trip before we moved. We used the scouting trip to tour a TON of daycares and get on lists and met up with a real estate agent (also company provided) for a very long day - we drove around from Golden Gate Park down to foster city. Then, after we moved, I took a few weeks’ leave and spent that time settling in, learning about neighborhoods, and finding housing. I literally went to the library and coffee shops and grocery stores in a few towns to imagine what it would feel like to live there and then narrowed down my search (pretty much Millbrae to San Mateo, given commutes and weather).

I really like some of the towns south of us like Belmont and Mountain View. A friend used to teach in the Palo Alto school system and I agree with others, based on what he said, that it can be a pressure cooker. For better or worse I feel like we’ve managed to avoid that a bit. I do find it interesting that all my closest friends here are transplants from the East coast, Canada, or Europe. I don’t know if there’s a cultural difference / vibe or if it’s coincidence.

My husband and I worry about the lack of economic diversity (though there is some lower income housing in Burlingame) and what feels like racial diversity after DC - he points out that, while there are few black students in the school system, there are many Asians (especially people with Chinese and Indian ancestry), and my 2nd grader has a friend born in Peru and another born in Egypt, so my perception of lack of diversity might be not entirely accurate.

They recently redid (electrified) Caltrain which also changed the breaking system which means (a) the new trains are cleaner (for now); (b) they have added wifi which is nice and; and (c) the breaking system means they can run trains closer together. I think it used to be something like 35 mins between trains and now is something like 25 mins, which is nice! I rode the train once here to Mountain View - there was a major (hour) delay so I wasn’t a good judge. I wouldn’t be thrilled about that commute daily, but I’m not allowed to work in public settings for my job so it might be different if it could be work time.

In terms of planes, I don’t really notice them more than in any other urban environment except in high wind days. They change the approach to the airport or shut a runway or something when it’s very windy and then we’re right in the flight path. Even then it’s not too bad and that’s just a few times a year.

I haven’t read all the posts so I don’t know I’d you have kids / their ages. There was just a major renovation at Coyote point in San Mateo (just over the border from Burlingame) and now there’s a large “beach” (kind of rocky, but still fun) on the bay.

I haven’t looked into how to set up an anonymous email I could share, but if you wanted to I’d be willing to email directly. I found the move and scouting to be really stressful! (I think this might not be relevant, but I can share thoughts on daycares / preschools in the area if it is relevant - we looked at a lot and have used two of them.)

[Anonymous]

Pp again - one other thought. I work in a government / think tank / policy analysis focused job (trying to be a little vague) and that’s not common here. So I don’t connect with many people over work stuff. By contrast, my scientist turned software engineer husband has a lot more conversations and connections about work with other parents. I miss that about living in DC and I think he likes that about living here. Since you’re both in tech, that might make this area appealing.

He does feel like there are currently fewer opportunities than there were and startup funding is tighter right now, if that matters.

FYI, I haven’t seen a 3 bedroom in Burlingame under 2.2 million in quite a while except for (a) fixer-upper hones with major problems (termites, needs new foundation etc) or (b) small homes developers buy all cash in 24 hrs for $300-400k over asking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. One more stat - $900k HHI

I was going to say no ... but at that HHI yes I might. You will need to plan on private school, high food and fuel costs, smaller house for the money. Eldercare issues / travel costs related to the grandparents.
And yes, fire (including days of smoke from far away fires) and earthquake insurance or self insurance: when looking for housing, think about evacuation routes, fire-resistant construction, and also how reliable is your water source because drought - which has always been a consideration - is going to turn into a political issue.

I'm from the Bay Area and my family is there, so I have personal reasons to live there - but I live in VA, instead, because it offers me a better quality of life for my salary, which is much lower than yours. The fires scare me and the Bay Area has become more crowded, rich, and pretentious than when I was a kid there. You will need to keep an eye on your kids' mental health because their peers will be intense.

Also, if you move there and still call it Cali, they throw you back over the border to Nevada. That's just the rules.

OP here - hilarious on the Cali point, I deserved that.

Do you think the pressure cooker environment for kids is more than in the DMV? I worry about my kids here with the high amounts of wealth they are exposed to and high pressure at school.

Do you think you'll ever go back to the Bay Area?

This is really dependent on where in the Bay Area you live. Asian grinding is a big thing here. Forget getting into a UC without an unweighted 4.0 and all the other stuff but if you are out in a rural area you can coast into Cal with a 3.7 and far easier classes. Some areas in the Bay have split identity with old Californians and new ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. One more stat - $900k HHI

I was going to say no ... but at that HHI yes I might. You will need to plan on private school, high food and fuel costs, smaller house for the money. Eldercare issues / travel costs related to the grandparents.
And yes, fire (including days of smoke from far away fires) and earthquake insurance or self insurance: when looking for housing, think about evacuation routes, fire-resistant construction, and also how reliable is your water source because drought - which has always been a consideration - is going to turn into a political issue.

I'm from the Bay Area and my family is there, so I have personal reasons to live there - but I live in VA, instead, because it offers me a better quality of life for my salary, which is much lower than yours. The fires scare me and the Bay Area has become more crowded, rich, and pretentious than when I was a kid there. You will need to keep an eye on your kids' mental health because their peers will be intense.

Also, if you move there and still call it Cali, they throw you back over the border to Nevada. That's just the rules.

Yeah, but we don't like Californians here in NV, so we'll just tie you to a horse and let it drag you around the desert.

[Anonymous]

We moved from the DMV to Bay Area. We live in Los Gatos but on the east side so our high school is in San Jose but the district is in Campbell. The school districts were really confusing at first. The ones in the towns are smaller Cupertino, Saratoga, Los Gatos and Campbell. San Jose Unified is considered huge out here but smaller than Fairfax or MCPS. If you are thinking of private school then Bellarmine ( boys) and Presentation ( girls) are popular.

Los Gatos town area - I do not like it. It’s weird and pretentious. There are some OK restaurants and I love the architecture but it’s filled with GenX dyed blondes, and the shops all carry resort wear that I have never seen anyone outside of Los Gatos wear. It’s the land of the Karens or people who just stepped off a cruise ship.

Saratoga is a combo of tech money, Asians and retirees sitting on their equity. Very pretty, amazing trees and larger lots.

Cupertino is 80-90% Asian, great restaurants and test prep places all up and down De Anza.

Willow Glen is fun. The area goes all out for Christmas though it’s a little less each year. People still string lights on their bikes and go on the drink wine while riding your bike through the neighborhood looking at lights thing.

[Anonymous]

Nope!

[Anonymous]

Yes. Move the grandparents. The DMV is sinking towards oblivion during Trump 2.0. Surprised no one mentioned it.