WWYD: Move to Cali for career opp or stay in VA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. One more stat - $900k HHI

I was going to say no ... but at that HHI yes I might. You will need to plan on private school, high food and fuel costs, smaller house for the money. Eldercare issues / travel costs related to the grandparents.
And yes, fire (including days of smoke from far away fires) and earthquake insurance or self insurance: when looking for housing, think about evacuation routes, fire-resistant construction, and also how reliable is your water source because drought - which has always been a consideration - is going to turn into a political issue.

I'm from the Bay Area and my family is there, so I have personal reasons to live there - but I live in VA, instead, because it offers me a better quality of life for my salary, which is much lower than yours. The fires scare me and the Bay Area has become more crowded, rich, and pretentious than when I was a kid there. You will need to keep an eye on your kids' mental health because their peers will be intense.

Also, if you move there and still call it Cali, they throw you back over the border to Nevada. That's just the rules.

OP here - hilarious on the Cali point, I deserved that.

Do you think the pressure cooker environment for kids is more than in the DMV? I worry about my kids here with the high amounts of wealth they are exposed to and high pressure at school.

Do you think you'll ever go back to the Bay Area?

21:20 here (other replies are not me). I'm obviously not there now but from talking to friends, yes, it's the same or worse. Partly just a scarcity issue: there are just more smart rich people with high expectations for their kids, and many of them will have more resources and connections than you. There's way mor wealth than here. There's also a cultural desire to seem chill and make success look effortless and not as important to you as your hobbies (which will also be impressive). And there are body image / ED issues in some of the sports like climbing. I'm not trying to scare you but please just be aware and support your kids.

The public university system used to be excellent and cheap, which took some pressure off college admissions - I hear about it going downhill but I have no idea if that's actually true. If so, then you'll have more college scarcity. Many Californians have no interest in leaving the state (or the west) for college and less interest in East coast schools than you'd think - sort of, "Cornell? Didn't you get into a California school?"

The public K-12s are chroniclly underfunded because of some property tax decisions made in the 90s. In wealthy areas, they rely on parent donations. There are a number of strong privates, mostly religious, that are popular alternatives.

I saw in another post that you're looking at Burlingame to Mountainview - that's a really long commute, but I would consider it if you really love Burlingame and could take the train. If you plan to drive I would look closer to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. One more stat - $900k HHI

I was going to say no ... but at that HHI yes I might. You will need to plan on private school, high food and fuel costs, smaller house for the money. Eldercare issues / travel costs related to the grandparents.
And yes, fire (including days of smoke from far away fires) and earthquake insurance or self insurance: when looking for housing, think about evacuation routes, fire-resistant construction, and also how reliable is your water source because drought - which has always been a consideration - is going to turn into a political issue.

I'm from the Bay Area and my family is there, so I have personal reasons to live there - but I live in VA, instead, because it offers me a better quality of life for my salary, which is much lower than yours. The fires scare me and the Bay Area has become more crowded, rich, and pretentious than when I was a kid there. You will need to keep an eye on your kids' mental health because their peers will be intense.

Also, if you move there and still call it Cali, they throw you back over the border to Nevada. That's just the rules.

OP here - hilarious on the Cali point, I deserved that.

Do you think the pressure cooker environment for kids is more than in the DMV? I worry about my kids here with the high amounts of wealth they are exposed to and high pressure at school.

Do you think you'll ever go back to the Bay Area?

The schools in California, even the "good" ones, are a mess. The quality is surprisingly sub par, especially given all of the tech talent there.

Northern California is so beautiful, but the schools are universally terrible

OP I would take this with a grain of salt. This is a massive exaggeration. Public schools will be just fine where you are looking - Los Altos schools especially are just as good if not better than here. Palo Alto school district nearby is one of the best districts in the country. Look up the funding per pupil, you’ll see the schools in expensive zip codes have plenty of funding. The problem is when people expect the public’s to be like privates given the insanely high cost of living.

[Anonymous]

Nova doesn’t have true wealth. If you’re worried about your kids being exposed to wealth and an academic pressure cooker in Nova, brace yourself. The wealth and competition in the Bay Area are next level.

[Anonymous]

[list]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. One more stat - $900k HHI

I was going to say no ... but at that HHI yes I might. You will need to plan on private school, high food and fuel costs, smaller house for the money. Eldercare issues / travel costs related to the grandparents.
And yes, fire (including days of smoke from far away fires) and earthquake insurance or self insurance: when looking for housing, think about evacuation routes, fire-resistant construction, and also how reliable is your water source because drought - which has always been a consideration - is going to turn into a political issue.

I'm from the Bay Area and my family is there, so I have personal reasons to live there - but I live in VA, instead, because it offers me a better quality of life for my salary, which is much lower than yours. The fires scare me and the Bay Area has become more crowded, rich, and pretentious than when I was a kid there. You will need to keep an eye on your kids' mental health because their peers will be intense.

Also, if you move there and still call it Cali, they throw you back over the border to Nevada. That's just the rules.

OP here - hilarious on the Cali point, I deserved that.

Do you think the pressure cooker environment for kids is more than in the DMV? I worry about my kids here with the high amounts of wealth they are exposed to and high pressure at school.

Do you think you'll ever go back to the Bay Area?

The schools in California, even the "good" ones, are a mess. The quality is surprisingly sub par, especially given all of the tech talent there.

Northern California is so beautiful, but the schools are universally terrible

OP I would take this with a grain of salt. This is a massive exaggeration. Public schools will be just fine where you are looking - Los Altos schools especially are just as good if not better than here. Palo Alto school district nearby is one of the best districts in the country. Look up the funding per pupil, you’ll see the schools in expensive zip codes have plenty of funding. The problem is when people expect the public’s to be like privates given the insanely high cost of living.

Yeah…weird comments on public schools. A bunch of SV public schools are ranked as best in the country…but they will be huge pressure cookers. Guess that’s life in SV.

I would imagine house prices that feed into places like Gunn are very high, so you pay for the access.

That said, I wouldn’t move for theoretical better opportunities.

[Anonymous]

I’d be heading to California.

[Anonymous]

Los Altos is where you want to center your search. MV schools aren’t that good and PA has so much pressure (see uptick in Caltrain student suicides). The wealth is next level, $900k is like $300k here financially but it’s like $100k culturally since people fly on private jets, donate seven figures to universities, have private chefs, and live in $10-15m homes (which look like $2m homes here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you make $900k I think you should live wherever you want to live and not worry about needing an increase in the future.

+1 you will be fine in CA.

I used to live in the Bay Area and SoCal for 40 years. Also, don't call it Cali.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. One more stat - $900k HHI

I was going to say no ... but at that HHI yes I might. You will need to plan on private school, high food and fuel costs, smaller house for the money. Eldercare issues / travel costs related to the grandparents.
And yes, fire (including days of smoke from far away fires) and earthquake insurance or self insurance: when looking for housing, think about evacuation routes, fire-resistant construction, and also how reliable is your water source because drought - which has always been a consideration - is going to turn into a political issue.

I'm from the Bay Area and my family is there, so I have personal reasons to live there - but I live in VA, instead, because it offers me a better quality of life for my salary, which is much lower than yours. The fires scare me and the Bay Area has become more crowded, rich, and pretentious than when I was a kid there. You will need to keep an eye on your kids' mental health because their peers will be intense.

Also, if you move there and still call it Cali, they throw you back over the border to Nevada. That's just the rules.

OP here - hilarious on the Cali point, I deserved that.

Do you think the pressure cooker environment for kids is more than in the DMV? I worry about my kids here with the high amounts of wealth they are exposed to and high pressure at school.

Do you think you'll ever go back to the Bay Area?

The schools in California, even the "good" ones, are a mess. The quality is surprisingly sub par, especially given all of the tech talent there.

Northern California is so beautiful, but the schools are universally terrible

OP I would take this with a grain of salt. This is a massive exaggeration. Public schools will be just fine where you are looking - Los Altos schools especially are just as good if not better than here. Palo Alto school district nearby is one of the best districts in the country. Look up the funding per pupil, you’ll see the schools in expensive zip codes have plenty of funding. The problem is when people expect the public’s to be like privates given the insanely high cost of living.

Public schools in CA are funded by the state directly, not local, thanks to Prop 13.

However, local school districts will request a "donation" of like $1000 per child per year for "extras" - PE and art, etc. I used to live on the Peninsula, and paid $750 per child per year. That was 10 years ago. I'm pretty sure the "donation" request is a lot more now.

Our suggested donation amount is $1,500 per student, but every dollar makes a difference.

https://papie.org/donate/

I mean, this won't break OP's bank account with a $900k HHI , but the only reason rich schools have decent funding is because the parents are "donating" and fundraising every year.

Our HHI was about $400K at the time, but we were also paying a lot in property taxes since the housing costs are so high, and the local town would pass a bond measure every year to add to the school funding. I was annoyed that I was paying so much for so little.

Gunn HS is a huge pressure cooker. They've had several suicides over the year.

[Anonymous]

Where is your job? What city?

You can avoid places like Palo Alto where the pressure is huge, and go elsewhere but it will largely be based on where your job is.

[Anonymous]

California is the most gorgeous state. With your hhi, I'd move there in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the commentary this is really helpful... How is the CalTrain? Looking possibly at Burlingame. Heard it's nice to live. The CalTrain can take me to Sunnyvale in 35 ish minutes. DH and I both work in big tech.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t move if your family is here. The Bay Area has changed a lot in the last 30 years. Your money will be nothing there. The schools are bad. And if you think the people here are intense then just wait. I loved California when I lived there but I would not go back now unless there were strong family ties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the commentary this is really helpful... How is the CalTrain? Looking possibly at Burlingame. Heard it's nice to live. The CalTrain can take me to Sunnyvale in 35 ish minutes. DH and I both work in big tech.

I used to live in Burlingame. It's a nice town. DH used to take Caltrain up to SF. But, I don't think Burlingame to Sunnyvale door to door will only be 35min. Most of the offices in SV are not walking distance to Caltrains. Check out the map.

[Anonymous]

How are Catholic schools out there?

[Anonymous]

The limited opportunities for advancement in my industry are killing me here in DC and kids are now in HS. I wish we'd moved 5 years ago because now we have to wait. If I'd have had your presence of mind I'd have left. But we don't have family here either, and you can't undervalue that. Not necessarily their help with your kids, but the relationships and time with them.