Celebrating milestones & uninvolved sibling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to do anything? If you want to do something you should. If he’s not interested, leave it alone.

He doesn't have to do anything.

As I said, I am going to work with dh to plan it, my brother can show up if he wants to. Yesterday, I felt like it would be rude to plan something without his input, even if his input is that he's not interested or can't handle it. According to some here I should just take the hint. Well, I have in a lot of instances but figured he might want to be involved in something for our parents. Maybe even suggesting it is too much though.

I WANT to plan something for them, so will do that.

It's not that suggesting is always too much. It's the "we need to" that's too much. There's no need and no we here.

That text was already sent a few weeks ago. I can't unsent it.

so why are we still talking about this?

Hi OP!

Because it is a free country and we can talk about what we want. So your "still" is not necessary. Also, you made the post. Don’t dish it out if you can't take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound really angry. I don't mean that in a snarky way; I mean that honestly. Can you text: "Hey, I'm planning something for Mom and Dad; I just wanted to give you a heads up." If he wants to offer to help, he can; if not, that's fine, too.

Angry and frustrated. We're siblings in our 50's, there's a history of course.

That wording is better than anything I've come up with, and given without a bunch of snark and name calling. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to do anything? If you want to do something you should. If he’s not interested, leave it alone.

He doesn't have to do anything.

As I said, I am going to work with dh to plan it, my brother can show up if he wants to. Yesterday, I felt like it would be rude to plan something without his input, even if his input is that he's not interested or can't handle it. According to some here I should just take the hint. Well, I have in a lot of instances but figured he might want to be involved in something for our parents. Maybe even suggesting it is too much though.

I WANT to plan something for them, so will do that.

It's not that suggesting is always too much. It's the "we need to" that's too much. There's no need and no we here.

That text was already sent a few weeks ago. I can't unsent it.

so why are we still talking about this?

Hi OP!

Because it is a free country and we can talk about what we want. So your "still" is not necessary. Also, you made the post. Don’t dish it out if you can't take it.

No. Ask Jeff to double check that if you'd like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound really angry. I don't mean that in a snarky way; I mean that honestly. Can you text: "Hey, I'm planning something for Mom and Dad; I just wanted to give you a heads up." If he wants to offer to help, he can; if not, that's fine, too.

Angry and frustrated. We're siblings in our 50's, there's a history of course.

That wording is better than anything I've come up with, and given without a bunch of snark and name calling. Thank you.

"A history of course"--no "of course" by default needed. You choose to be angry. Your brother possibly is not angry with you at all and does not sit around thinking about you.

No one was name calling or snarky here on DCUM. You just didn't like what was being said. You your little passive aggressive rebuke is empty of truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he have to do anything? If you want to do something you should. If he’s not interested, leave it alone.

He doesn't have to do anything.

As I said, I am going to work with dh to plan it, my brother can show up if he wants to. Yesterday, I felt like it would be rude to plan something without his input, even if his input is that he's not interested or can't handle it. According to some here I should just take the hint. Well, I have in a lot of instances but figured he might want to be involved in something for our parents. Maybe even suggesting it is too much though.

I WANT to plan something for them, so will do that.

It's not that suggesting is always too much. It's the "we need to" that's too much. There's no need and no we here.

That text was already sent a few weeks ago. I can't unsent it.

so why are we still talking about this?

Hi OP!

Because it is a free country and we can talk about what we want. So your "still" is not necessary. Also, you made the post. Don’t dish it out if you can't take it.

No. Ask Jeff to double check that if you'd like.

I am not going to ask Jeff anything. Have a nice afternoon OP.