Are we overhyping companionship?

[Anonymous]

I've been told the order of happiness is:

1. Happily coupled
2. Happily single
3. Unhappily single
4. Unhappily coupled

It's a crapshoot if you get #1 but people try anyway and end up #4. So #2 seems pretty good after that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been told the order of happiness is:

1. Happily coupled
2. Happily single
3. Unhappily single
4. Unhappily coupled

It's a crapshoot if you get #1 but people try anyway and end up #4. So #2 seems pretty good after that!

I was #4 for decades before my early retirement and divorce but now have something with a smoking-hot soulmate that is better than #1: living apart together, with lots of daily togetherness and sleepovers, but not real cohabitation and it’s associated assault on “a place of one’s own”. It is inconceivable that #2 could ever come remotely close to this.

[Anonymous]

I've had all of those options and happy companionship is the best, as far as I'm concerned. My husband and I both put up with a lot from the other because we enjoy being around each other and doing things together so much.

But yeah, being unhappily coupled is terrible. Much lonelier than actually being alone.

[Anonymous]

Being with our children, who we all love unconditionally, is parenting. Isn’t it also a form of “companionship?”

Even owning a dog or cat can be a form of companionship.

OP: you don’t want marriage or a boyfriend (or romantic girlfriend).

That’s fine; for you.

[Anonymous]

Yes it's overrated. I got a dog post divorce and he is a better companion than my ex wife not even close.

[Anonymous]

The correct question should be whether being in a relationship out of fear of being alone or societal expectation is better than being happily single? A lot of women post here and I could sense some kind of desperation in their quest to be partnered. These women are better off happily single. I wonder if these are the same women who then post a divorce question a few years down the line.

[Anonymous]

You have companionship with your child. When she leaves home, you’ll probably want more friends or a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's now been 1 year since I have been divorced and I am honestly enjoying being alone. I no longer have to abide by some rules from someone who thinks our household has to be led according to their rules. And I can go to bed whenever I want and have undisturbed sleep. When I am out late at work or on a business trip I don't have to to worry about someone swearing on their end that I am cheating despite having never cheated. I can go on and on.. We have 50/50 custody. When I have my kids we have a better time together. My son is a teenager now so he is in his own universe. My daughter is 12 and she really loves me and I love her equally. The time we spent together now is more fulfilling.

I guess some people want daily sex, I don't. It has not been difficult for me to find an attractive woman that was willing to sleep with me. I have a friend who calls me when she wants some and i call her as well when in need of sex. I just won't get into a relationship with anyone.To me it's not worth the hassle.

Some people thought have amazing relationships and I hope it stays that way for them. But for some of us I wonder if we are being forced into a companionship/relationship because that's what adults are supposed to be in....

Is companionship overrated?

it is true that peopel who live alone die sooner, but that's just because there's no one to notice when you have a heart attack to call 911 or whatever.

[Anonymous]

It's definitely overhyped. My married friends go to Walmart and watch 60 Minutes on the weekend. It's painful to even think about. I spend most of my time traveling to Asia and LatAm, banging young, hot women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have companionship with your child. When she leaves home, you’ll probably want more friends or a relationship.

This. I am divorced and we have twins 2 beautiful and very kind 15 years old daughters that I love to death. While they are teenagers now and don't miss me as much as they used to, the time we spent together even if short at times is enough to keep me happy. I haven't dated since my divorce 2 years ago and I am not planning on doing so until at least they leave for college. And knowing my daughters although they are cool about their mom dating, I don't think they will be so cool towards me. We went to a Vegas last year and I was flirting with a brunette back and forth for an extended period of time the look on my daughter's face said it all.

I don't know how can one leave without companionship.

For instance if someone is divorced and didn't have children from his marriage, is OP saying that he shouldn't seek companionship? If a man manages to remain single forever post divorce and he has no kids then he must be on the spectrum

[Anonymous]

The right companionship is not overrated. The wrong one will send you to your grave sooner due to stress and misery..one my friend wishes he could divorce his way but for many reasons he won't. We are the same age both 46. However he looks like he is 70, he is also sad, always stressed and miserable. Me on the other hand I look like I am 35 because I am married to the best woman on earth. My wife is amazing. We both care for each other, but she is always taking care of me and making sure I am okay. When I am sick she is sad. I don't know what I would do if she were to die before me. I can say with 100% guarantee we will never get a divorce. See a good companion makes your life whole

[Anonymous]

Some divorced women will seek young companions. A lot of teens were not socialized for three+ years during the pandemic. They bridged to their 20s with really unusual childhoods.

In come some middle age women. They boast about going out with these young men 18-25. The men have no idea they are being taken advantage of because they literally skipped a few crucial years of adolescence or their young adulthood. They are inexperienced and not well socialized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some divorced women will seek young companions. A lot of teens were not socialized for three+ years during the pandemic. They bridged to their 20s with really unusual childhoods.

In come some middle age women. They boast about going out with these young men 18-25. The men have no idea they are being taken advantage of because they literally skipped a few crucial years of adolescence or their young adulthood. They are inexperienced and not well socialized.

You mean the reverse of every "pretty young thing" dynamic involving an older male/younger female? Nobody's crying. If you "skipped a few crucial years of adolescence or young adulthood" but made it to adulthood, that's your responsibility to address. Acting like you're a victim because there was a pandemic is wild. You survived. If you need help processing the damage or filling in the gaps, get help.

It doesn't take a pandemic for people to have dysfunctional childhoods. The vast majority of so-called adults these days have these same issues, due to busy and/or broken parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The right companionship is not overrated. The wrong one will send you to your grave sooner due to stress and misery..one my friend wishes he could divorce his way but for many reasons he won't. We are the same age both 46. However he looks like he is 70, he is also sad, always stressed and miserable. Me on the other hand I look like I am 35 because I am married to the best woman on earth. My wife is amazing. We both care for each other, but she is always taking care of me and making sure I am okay. When I am sick she is sad. I don't know what I would do if she were to die before me. I can say with 100% guarantee we will never get a divorce. See a good companion makes your life whole

Do you treat her equally well, or are you just using her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely overhyped. My married friends go to Walmart and watch 60 Minutes on the weekend. It's painful to even think about. I spend most of my time traveling to Asia and LatAm, banging young, hot women.

For pay, yeah?

You're a manboy. It gets old, as will you. Best of luck with your adrenaline junkie lifestyle and complete lack of ability to enjoy the simple things.

You'll probably die alone.