This is why I won't do an international adoption

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a whole thread on this.
It focused on medical professionals and their involvement as well

Medical professionals who adopt their patients kids should lose their license as it’s not ethical.

Agree. But they don't. In fact, their fellow "professionals" applaud and assist them in their baby-grabbing efforts.

Not ethical doesn't mean illegal and it continues to happen.

It should be illegal and you are right, fellow professionals do help, and they should be held accountable too.

I think it will take a few high-profile lawsuits and judgements against medical professionals before something will happen legislatively.

Event then I doubt it will change as people just lie over the connections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These issues happened in the 70s and 80s. I would hope we’ve come a long way since then. Not sure why it would prevent OP doing “ any international adoption” now it’s 2025.
OP are you actually looking to adopt?
Our 12yo is adopted and thriving. We used a reputable agency in the dmv, we’re not rich, and no profit was made by anyone.

I think the point is that all those folks adopting in the 70s and 80s also thought their adoptions were legitimate, and that they were doing right by their child and the child's first family. Unless you speak the local language and have engaged directly with the first family, it's really hard to know what's happening behind the scenes.

It depends on the actual adoption. Many people may not know their adoptions are shady. We were offered some strange situations that didn't feel ethical and I asked to talk to the birth mom to confirm everything and they refused. (the child was moved multiple times through multiple states over a few weeks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These issues happened in the 70s and 80s. I would hope we’ve come a long way since then. Not sure why it would prevent OP doing “ any international adoption” now it’s 2025.
OP are you actually looking to adopt?
Our 12yo is adopted and thriving. We used a reputable agency in the dmv, we’re not rich, and no profit was made by anyone.

I think the point is that all those folks adopting in the 70s and 80s also thought their adoptions were legitimate, and that they were doing right by their child and the child's first family. Unless you speak the local language and have engaged directly with the first family, it's really hard to know what's happening behind the scenes.

I think there was a lot of willful ignorance on the part of desperate adoptive parents. China in the strict one-child policy era might be the only exception. Otherwise, I think many healthy baby international adoptions were the result of coercion or fraud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2025/03/27/south-korea-adoption-investigation-human-rights-abuses/

I feel terrible for everyone involved (except the people who sold babies for profit).

The people buying the babies are as despicable as the ones selling the babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2025/03/27/south-korea-adoption-investigation-human-rights-abuses/

I feel terrible for everyone involved (except the people who sold babies for profit).

International adoption and surrogacy should be illegal
It is rich women, primarily American, taking advantage
poor women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's awful. Imagine if we shipped out kids in foster care to be adopted in another country because it would cost less than keeping them in foster care? And their parents just ... lost touch. Man, just when I'm thinking our US gov't is awful, South Korea says hold my beer.

And Guatemala and China and Russia and Vietnam and …

Any nation that fosters a gigantic pipeline of kids to MC and UMC countries is deeply suspect. And frankly should have been ***at the time***

Ive always believed that desperate American parents just didn’t want to know on a subconscious level. Even as a 12 yr old girl surrounded by these international adoptees in my middle school I knew it didn’t pass the smell test.

Really? An entire nation of moms is sending its babies to Chicago willingly?

Extra scorn for all my highly, highly educated and compensated lawyer-doctor neighbors with young adult kids born in China and Guatemala who didn’t dare ask questions. They absolutely knew better and didn’t want to know.

And this is why, as a Korean adoptee and an adoptive parent of a Korean child, I'm so glad we're not a conspicuous family so we can escape your scorn. You have no idea what my child's history is so please save your judgement for someone else.

We do know the circumstances. You and your child were likely stolen from your birth family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These issues happened in the 70s and 80s. I would hope we’ve come a long way since then. Not sure why it would prevent OP doing “ any international adoption” now it’s 2025.
OP are you actually looking to adopt?
Our 12yo is adopted and thriving. We used a reputable agency in the dmv, we’re not rich, and no profit was made by anyone.

I think the point is that all those folks adopting in the 70s and 80s also thought their adoptions were legitimate, and that they were doing right by their child and the child's first family. Unless you speak the local language and have engaged directly with the first family, it's really hard to know what's happening behind the scenes.

I think there was a lot of willful ignorance on the part of desperate adoptive parents. China in the strict one-child policy era might be the only exception. Otherwise, I think many healthy baby international adoptions were the result of coercion or fraud.

This. It's extremely common in international adoption to never meet the birth parents, or to be told the birth parents are dead. The idea that fraud can't enter into that scenario because you used a "reputable agency" is simply denialism. Poor people do desperate things because they are poor. Any system with money changing hands can have grift. Almost any international adoption runs a risk of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's awful. Imagine if we shipped out kids in foster care to be adopted in another country because it would cost less than keeping them in foster care? And their parents just ... lost touch. Man, just when I'm thinking our US gov't is awful, South Korea says hold my beer.

And Guatemala and China and Russia and Vietnam and …

Any nation that fosters a gigantic pipeline of kids to MC and UMC countries is deeply suspect. And frankly should have been ***at the time***

Ive always believed that desperate American parents just didn’t want to know on a subconscious level. Even as a 12 yr old girl surrounded by these international adoptees in my middle school I knew it didn’t pass the smell test.

Really? An entire nation of moms is sending its babies to Chicago willingly?

Extra scorn for all my highly, highly educated and compensated lawyer-doctor neighbors with young adult kids born in China and Guatemala who didn’t dare ask questions. They absolutely knew better and didn’t want to know.

And this is why, as a Korean adoptee and an adoptive parent of a Korean child, I'm so glad we're not a conspicuous family so we can escape your scorn. You have no idea what my child's history is so please save your judgement for someone else.

. Your specific kid? You’re correct I have no knowledge of her backstory. Or the backstory you were given.

But fortunately the world is now becoming increasingly aware of the shenanigans pulled in the present-day Korean international adoption machine, writ large.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's awful. Imagine if we shipped out kids in foster care to be adopted in another country because it would cost less than keeping them in foster care? And their parents just ... lost touch. Man, just when I'm thinking our US gov't is awful, South Korea says hold my beer.

And Guatemala and China and Russia and Vietnam and …

Any nation that fosters a gigantic pipeline of kids to MC and UMC countries is deeply suspect. And frankly should have been ***at the time***

Ive always believed that desperate American parents just didn’t want to know on a subconscious level. Even as a 12 yr old girl surrounded by these international adoptees in my middle school I knew it didn’t pass the smell test.

Really? An entire nation of moms is sending its babies to Chicago willingly?

Extra scorn for all my highly, highly educated and compensated lawyer-doctor neighbors with young adult kids born in China and Guatemala who didn’t dare ask questions. They absolutely knew better and didn’t want to know.

And this is why, as a Korean adoptee and an adoptive parent of a Korean child, I'm so glad we're not a conspicuous family so we can escape your scorn. You have no idea what my child's history is so please save your judgement for someone else.

We do know the circumstances. You and your child were likely stolen from your birth family.

Stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These issues happened in the 70s and 80s. I would hope we’ve come a long way since then. Not sure why it would prevent OP doing “ any international adoption” now it’s 2025.
OP are you actually looking to adopt?
Our 12yo is adopted and thriving. We used a reputable agency in the dmv, we’re not rich, and no profit was made by anyone.

I think the point is that all those folks adopting in the 70s and 80s also thought their adoptions were legitimate, and that they were doing right by their child and the child's first family. Unless you speak the local language and have engaged directly with the first family, it's really hard to know what's happening behind the scenes.

I think there was a lot of willful ignorance on the part of desperate adoptive parents. China in the strict one-child policy era might be the only exception. Otherwise, I think many healthy baby international adoptions were the result of coercion or fraud.

This. It's extremely common in international adoption to never meet the birth parents, or to be told the birth parents are dead. The idea that fraud can't enter into that scenario because you used a "reputable agency" is simply denialism. Poor people do desperate things because they are poor. Any system with money changing hands can have grift. Almost any international adoption runs a risk of abuse.

It is not just international adoptions. It's happening right here in the US, too. With the advent of private adoptions, there are all kinds of shady deals going on which tend to exploit young mothers/fathers and get them to agree to give up their child to the wonderful, happy and WEALTHIER couple who will just be perfect parents.

There IS money being dangled at these young mothers (especially) and there are clever ways to disguise it so it appears legal. Plus they are told they can continue to have a relationship with their child because it will all be "open."

Until it isn't. Adoptive parents can legally stop the access to the child at any time.

I don't think there have been many comprehensive longitudinal studies on what the effects are of "open" adoptions. (That weren't paid for by adoption industry.) Add in the money-to-mom factor, and there have got to be some psychological impacts even if it doesn't manifest right away.

[Anonymous]

Yes, international adoption fraud exists, but not all int'l adoptions are fraudulent. Also, in this day and age when Zoom and widespread DNA testing exist, it is probably much harder to commit adoption fraud.