Bringing kids to girls’ trips?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I don't want the drag of having kids around if I don't get to be with the kids I love the most, who are mine. And I have no problem being away from my kids, I just don't feel like dealing with kids I don't love to the same extent as my own -- then I feel like I don't get to interact with my adult friend AND I miss being with my kids

[Anonymous]

I would not attend.

[Anonymous]

Assuming everyone is on the same page except the kid's mom, the others need to agree to nominate someone to say "Is this an adults only trip or are we bringing kids?" and then everyone else needs to chime in and say "Adults only" and "I prefer just adults." One person can say "Sarah, is this ok? I know you said something about bringing Harper, but this trip sounds like just adults, right?"

Someone just needs to be brave enough to initiate this planning with everyone but the kid-mom.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go on this trip if my friend wanted to bring her kids! No husbands either! I barely get to take vacations or see my friends enough as it is and wouldn’t want anyone else intruding on that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not attend.

[Anonymous]

I'd just say you are looking for an adult only trip. This might not be it. I'd be willing to bow out for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not attend.

:roll:

Why the eye roll? I wouldn’t attend either.

Op, what I would do, is talk to the organizer. I’d say “look, I love X, but I was hoping for an adults only trip. I just wanted to let you know [as the organizer], that I won’t be going if kids are coming.” And see where the convo goes. Ideally the organizer will speak to everyone and see what the consensus is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You got a nip this now. My husbands guy group goes on a guys trip once a year. One year, one guy’s wife came because it was a more low-key trip into an area where she had something to do…Now she goes every year and all the guys are not thrilled about it… But at this point, what can they say? The rest of us wives are like WTF. Let them have their time.

That is so weird. Why doesn’t her husband tell her to stop coming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of my friends (all female, around 40 yo) discussed a girl trip to Montreal at lunch today. We previously went on a few road trips together and had fun. This would be a longer trip. One friend said she wanted to bring her 8 year old daughter along.

I would not want to go on that trip. In my mind, we are all moms, and this would be the time to not be in moms roles, to have adult conversations and to not be slowed down by kids. Even with the best behaving child, the dynamics would be off. I think others shared my concern.

What would be a good way to gently suggest to the friend who wants to bring the daughter to come alone (or stay with the daughter). Her husband could stay with the daughter over the long weekend.

No. That would really limit the group activities.

I have a BFF who always brings her 8yo on our trips. It’s fine — she never really lets loose bc she’s got the kid in tow but he’s mostly chill with to travel with. I he misbehaves or is obnoxious I put my headphones on and let her handle it. My kids are at home; not my business.

But she has three kids and her husband is not the kind who can step up and watch three kids on his own though he can make it work with two (plus his elderly mom’s help). If she couldn’t bring a kid she couldn’t come and I’d rather put up with it than not be able to travel with her at all. It might be like this in your friends family OP. Maybe it’s not safe to leave the child behind for whatever reason? Anyway it doesn’t sound like your situation is exactly comparable and in your plan I’d probably say something. Like I said — my friends 8 yo is chill to the point of being ignorable at times and eats everything. If he was obnoxious things would be different.

What a terrible father (and husband) that he can’t take care of his own kids on his own (and needs help to take care of just two of them). How does your friend have any respect for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few of my friends (all female, around 40 yo) discussed a girl trip to Montreal at lunch today. We previously went on a few road trips together and had fun. This would be a longer trip. One friend said she wanted to bring her 8 year old daughter along.

I would not want to go on that trip. In my mind, we are all moms, and this would be the time to not be in moms roles, to have adult conversations and to not be slowed down by kids. Even with the best behaving child, the dynamics would be off. I think others shared my concern.

What would be a good way to gently suggest to the friend who wants to bring the daughter to come alone (or stay with the daughter). Her husband could stay with the daughter over the long weekend.

No. That would really limit the group activities.

I have a BFF who always brings her 8yo on our trips. It’s fine — she never really lets loose bc she’s got the kid in tow but he’s mostly chill with to travel with. I he misbehaves or is obnoxious I put my headphones on and let her handle it. My kids are at home; not my business.

But she has three kids and her husband is not the kind who can step up and watch three kids on his own though he can make it work with two (plus his elderly mom’s help). If she couldn’t bring a kid she couldn’t come and I’d rather put up with it than not be able to travel with her at all. It might be like this in your friends family OP. Maybe it’s not safe to leave the child behind for whatever reason? Anyway it doesn’t sound like your situation is exactly comparable and in your plan I’d probably say something. Like I said — my friends 8 yo is chill to the point of being ignorable at times and eats everything. If he was obnoxious things would be different.

What a terrible father (and husband) that he can’t take care of his own kids on his own (and needs help to take care of just two of them). How does your friend have any respect for him?

How do you have any respect for your friend, staying with such a person? These poor kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd just say you are looking for an adult only trip. This might not be it. I'd be willing to bow out for this reason.

YES! Maybe "what's the verdict on this trip? I'm looking for an adult only weekend. If you all feel otherwise I'll bow out this round."