DD is upset about her race

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re white but my kids also bring different food to school (healthy meals rather than junky snack food) and kids have asked them lists of questions about it (why are you eating that, why not this, ew I don’t like vegetables, do you really eat that) and it makes my kids feel sad too. Unfortunately not many Asian kids where we live or that would probably be easier for us. Mine are tweens and I hope it gets easier as the kids get older. We’ve noticed that the kids from wealthier families tend to eat a bit healthier and also don’t ask as many rude questions, if that helps.

LOL that people only send junky snack food to daycare. You are troll x 1000!!!

NP but my friend has definitely said her 2nd grader has gotten bullied for bringing vegan whole-food lunches.

A forced-vegan second grader should be a crime.

It's not for me but kids seem happy and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Get your child into a heritage language school or find a community of people from your native country. Expose her to your culture. Once she has some pride and confidence in who she is, the remarks won't bother her as much. You cannot change other people. In a homogenous environment, kids will point out and exclude based on differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your child into a heritage language school or find a community of people from your native country. Expose her to your culture. Once she has some pride and confidence in who she is, the remarks won't bother her as much. You cannot change other people. In a homogenous environment, kids will point out and exclude based on differences.

This all seems like well-meaning white people advice. Sure, of course OP should (and likely is) exposing her child to her culture and teaching her to take pride in her heritage. But these are dividends that she won't see for years. In the immediate time, her kid will continue to be excluded and bullied.

I was an "only" for most of my K-12 education. First thing I did when buying a house was to make sure and choose a school pyramid where my kid wouldn't have to repeat that experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your child into a heritage language school or find a community of people from your native country. Expose her to your culture. Once she has some pride and confidence in who she is, the remarks won't bother her as much. You cannot change other people. In a homogenous environment, kids will point out and exclude based on differences.

This all seems like well-meaning white people advice. Sure, of course OP should (and likely is) exposing her child to her culture and teaching her to take pride in her heritage. But these are dividends that she won't see for years. In the immediate time, her kid will continue to be excluded and bullied.

I was an "only" for most of my K-12 education. First thing I did when buying a house was to make sure and choose a school pyramid where my kid wouldn't have to repeat that experience.

I am not white. I am Asian and I know of Asian kids who have struggled with their race and it got better once they started heritage school. It is easier to give that a try than to suggest to these parents to move, potentially out of their area entirely...

[Anonymous]

This is fairly common for kids to get bullied for having different food at school. She will grow out of this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your child into a heritage language school or find a community of people from your native country. Expose her to your culture. Once she has some pride and confidence in who she is, the remarks won't bother her as much. You cannot change other people. In a homogenous environment, kids will point out and exclude based on differences.

This all seems like well-meaning white people advice. Sure, of course OP should (and likely is) exposing her child to her culture and teaching her to take pride in her heritage. But these are dividends that she won't see for years. In the immediate time, her kid will continue to be excluded and bullied.

I was an "only" for most of my K-12 education. First thing I did when buying a house was to make sure and choose a school pyramid where my kid wouldn't have to repeat that experience.

I am not white. I am Asian and I know of Asian kids who have struggled with their race and it got better once they started heritage school. It is easier to give that a try than to suggest to these parents to move, potentially out of their area entirely...

NP but I’m struggling because the heritage language schools I’m looking at for my country require me to speak and read the language at a much higher level than I currently do or can realistically attain right now. So I’m just boxed out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re white but my kids also bring different food to school (healthy meals rather than junky snack food) and kids have asked them lists of questions about it (why are you eating that, why not this, ew I don’t like vegetables, do you really eat that) and it makes my kids feel sad too. Unfortunately not many Asian kids where we live or that would probably be easier for us. Mine are tweens and I hope it gets easier as the kids get older. We’ve noticed that the kids from wealthier families tend to eat a bit healthier and also don’t ask as many rude questions, if that helps.

LOL that people only send junky snack food to daycare. You are troll x 1000!!!

NP but my friend has definitely said her 2nd grader has gotten bullied for bringing vegan whole-food lunches.

A forced-vegan second grader should be a crime.

Oh look we found the food bully’s mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get your child into a heritage language school or find a community of people from your native country. Expose her to your culture. Once she has some pride and confidence in who she is, the remarks won't bother her as much. You cannot change other people. In a homogenous environment, kids will point out and exclude based on differences.

This all seems like well-meaning white people advice. Sure, of course OP should (and likely is) exposing her child to her culture and teaching her to take pride in her heritage. But these are dividends that she won't see for years. In the immediate time, her kid will continue to be excluded and bullied.

I was an "only" for most of my K-12 education. First thing I did when buying a house was to make sure and choose a school pyramid where my kid wouldn't have to repeat that experience.

I am not white. I am Asian and I know of Asian kids who have struggled with their race and it got better once they started heritage school. It is easier to give that a try than to suggest to these parents to move, potentially out of their area entirely...

NP but I’m struggling because the heritage language schools I’m looking at for my country require me to speak and read the language at a much higher level than I currently do or can realistically attain right now. So I’m just boxed out.

Are there other less intense ones? Or some heritage schools offer cultural classes. Maybe you could just sign your kids up for that portion.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible to take a trip to your home country? DC was much more enthused about learning the language/culture/food after our first trip together. It made a big difference to see it as the “norm” rather than an outlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you are lying. What a f g joke.

You are so blind. This absolutely happens.

Literally the second week of kindergarten, my kid was complaining about her “look” - eyes, skin color.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up one of the few Asian kids in an all white school. Everything your daughter is saying happened to me growing up (but this was in the 80s). I hated it. But, then at some point I just didn’t care and finally realized all those people who made fun of me were losers - this wasn’t until college for me though. Might have helped if I had a concerned/supportive parent like you.

I don’t know what kind of Asian you are, but generally… Being Asian is cool. Asian people have great skin, they look young for a long time, many of us are creative with great style and have a great work ethic. Many Asian grandmas are thin and active and live a long time. Asian food is the most delicious. I would really emphasize all of the cool Asian stuff to her and build up her pride in herself. She is amazing.

Give her the strength to not care about classroom comments and keep contacting the school and the teacher until they make it a safe place for your daughter. Repeated commenting on an Asian child’s eye shape is unacceptable and should absolutely be addressed by the school. I get that they’re 5, but their teachers should be educating them. Curiously can still be harmful to other students. Also your school should be teaching don’t yuck my yum. The suggestion about sharing a delicious food with the class was a great one.

I also had a very similar experience in the 1980s. Kids would make fun of my eye shape and mock me for being Asian and having a weird last name. They thought the food I brought to school was strange.

I was embarrassed about my food at lunch so my grandma thought I wanted American food, so she would pack me cake for lunch and I happily ate it because I thought the white kids ate that too.

As I got older, I learned to push back but it is hard when you are 5. I would be prouder of our food traditions and our ancient history, but it is good you are bringing this up to the teacher and making classmates more aware.

[Anonymous]

School isn't going to do anything about it, so adjust your expectations on that. My daughter is half black and was recently called the N word in 2nd grade by a white girl. And her school is very diverse. It's everywhere, the trump parents have destroyed this generation.

[Anonymous]

My kid gets picked on for being the shortest. Just keep engaging the school and the other parents. Kids are curious and will point out differences. It doesn't have to be hurtful or bad.

[Anonymous]

She needs more exposure in person, literature and other media to her own and similar culture. If you go all out and present tons of culture early on, she will accept it and appreciate it much more. I did this with my kids and there is a stark difference in them and kids who are not exposed to cultural diversity. I don't blame people who don't think about it, there's a lot to teach kids, but it is an almost instant reward to see them be comfortable with and accepting of others. This goes beyond race, you want them to be great with people who are different ages, abilities, personalities, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:School isn't going to do anything about it, so adjust your expectations on that. My daughter is half black and was recently called the N word in 2nd grade by a white girl. And her school is very diverse. It's everywhere, the trump parents have destroyed this generation.

This makes me so sad/furious.