NYC private school: tips for surviving the parent scene?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone tell me what schools would be good for someone like OP? We’re similar, but make way less than a million.

Hey, I’m a trinity grad from the late 00’s, kid at dalton k. Posted above about parent scene at dalton. I really think this shouldn’t be a concern. Obviously, its fine to get the nerves about being part of a school community. It’s much less of a big deal than people make it out to be. HOWEVER, I will say at trinity, there were a handful of parents who let loose the dogs of war whenever a teacher deigned to give them less than a top grade. I’m not exaggerating, starting in like 7th grade, a few families pretty much had standing appointments with administration to complain. But I don’t think any of my parents’ friend socialized with them.

Dalton is lowkey incredible so far. I have to say we probably fit more closely with private school stereotypes, but we try with everything we have to avoid people who weaponize status. No one has been like that so far. I mean it when I say there hasn’t been a hint of snobbery or elitism.

Why are the parents being graded by the teachers?

[Anonymous]

Parent of a child who entered a downtown school for HS so not familiar with the non-HS schools (we don't live downtown). We are very happy. There is definitely more of a downtown, artsy vibe, but also lots of hedge fund types who choose to live in lofts downtown. The kids who enter for HS are from a much broader geography.

We are not getting aid but far from wealthy and have not felt any wealth issues. Our child has made nice friends and blended in with the kids who have been there since K. The schools are less of a pressure cooker than uptown schools but still rigorous.

There are more families who don't care about the HYP scene so exmissions might not look as good, but if you want that, it is still very possible, and I think these schools are rapidly getting better at getting kids into Ivies.

We loved the head of school at Grace and the Quaker values of Friends Seminary. The two schools have generally similar vibes but have differences when you look more closely - nothing bad, just a matter of your family and kid. LREI has a nice vibe as well but went a bit far with DEI and though it exmits pretty well, has more of a "safety school" feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can anyone tell me what schools would be good for someone like OP? We’re similar, but make way less than a million.

Hey, I’m a trinity grad from the late 00’s, kid at dalton k. Posted above about parent scene at dalton. I really think this shouldn’t be a concern. Obviously, its fine to get the nerves about being part of a school community. It’s much less of a big deal than people make it out to be. HOWEVER, I will say at trinity, there were a handful of parents who let loose the dogs of war whenever a teacher deigned to give them less than a top grade. I’m not exaggerating, starting in like 7th grade, a few families pretty much had standing appointments with administration to complain. But I don’t think any of my parents’ friend socialized with them.

Dalton is lowkey incredible so far. I have to say we probably fit more closely with private school stereotypes, but we try with everything we have to avoid people who weaponize status. No one has been like that so far. I mean it when I say there hasn’t been a hint of snobbery or elitism.

Why are the parents being graded by the teachers?

Obvi the poster meant their children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a child who entered a downtown school for HS so not familiar with the non-HS schools (we don't live downtown). We are very happy. There is definitely more of a downtown, artsy vibe, but also lots of hedge fund types who choose to live in lofts downtown. The kids who enter for HS are from a much broader geography.

We are not getting aid but far from wealthy and have not felt any wealth issues. Our child has made nice friends and blended in with the kids who have been there since K. The schools are less of a pressure cooker than uptown schools but still rigorous.

There are more families who don't care about the HYP scene so exmissions might not look as good, but if you want that, it is still very possible, and I think these schools are rapidly getting better at getting kids into Ivies.

We loved the head of school at Grace and the Quaker values of Friends Seminary. The two schools have generally similar vibes but have differences when you look more closely - nothing bad, just a matter of your family and kid. LREI has a nice vibe as well but went a bit far with DEI and though it exmits pretty well, has more of a "safety school" feel.

Would you feel comfortable sharing more about the differences you observed w Grace and Friends Seminary? Those are our top two choices.

[Anonymous]

I would tour and meet lots of people.

Grace seemed to be what you make of it - some incredible kids and teachers and some who coast. You can have a very rigorous academic experience or not. Friends is probably a little more consistently rigorous. More academic flexibility at Grace. More school spirit at Grace. Friends was a bit more socially progressive/DEI focused (this might have changed). I think Grace is slightly larger. Facilities are different - Grace HS is fairly new but some spaces are a bit awkward as it is an old office building, while other parts of the design are very smart. Both schools incorporate chapel/meeting in a good way. Different sports/arts offerings.

Both schools are great and I think are very overlooked gems.

[Anonymous]

What do you estimate is the average income for the uptown single sex schools and coed schools, when excluding the outlier rich?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you estimate is the average income for the uptown single sex schools and coed schools, when excluding the outlier rich?

Lots of dual income couples. Likely $500k HHI to $2M on higher end.

This all falls in the working rich bucket of nyc. Comfortable but still have to grind to keep things going.