NYC private school: tips for surviving the parent scene?
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Anonymous
| OP- genuinely curious what is your background and what is your income levels? |
Anonymous
We’ve been at Trinity for almost a decade and there are only a handful of people that I’ve encountered that are not for me. Not a lot of flash— that’s sort of actively frowned upon. Outwardly pretty low-key, serious about academics, type-A leaning. But kind, warm, inclusive, and highly involved (very active PA). |
Anonymous
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The greatest gift to me was DD’s going to Downtown Schools. No bullying. Less ostentation. Great faculty. Accessible administrators. The college counselor at FS was legendary. Friends Seminary.
LREI. VCS. Grace Church. UNIS. |
Anonymous
| Have an open mind. Get involved---attend social events, volunteer to the extent you're able, and just be friendly. I'm one of those parents you would dismiss as a stereotype, and that would be your loss. I want a supportive community for my DCs in this large city where it can be hard to make connections----that means that I go out of my way to make sure that their schools help to serve that function. It would never occur to me to dismiss other parents because they don't live in Manhattan or spend summers in Sagaponack. |
Anonymous
Thanks! OP here. That's our intent as parents, we really do aim to keep an open mind and just want our DC to be in a great and supportive community. Good to get takes from various anonymous parents in this thread. |
Anonymous
Not in Manhattan Business owner $1M+ HHI (very recent uptick due to business) Non-white Both parents grew up in what would be considered lower-income urban households. Our HHI accelerated only just recently so even our adult lives haven't followed the traditional pathways of other professional careers. |
Anonymous
| Can anyone tell me what schools would be good for someone like OP? We’re similar, but make way less than a million. |
Anonymous
Downtown parent. Just personal experiences from recent tours/interviews -- so please do your own touring and treat this as just a single set of observations: Friends Seminary felt particularly down to earth. Parent mix seemed diverse and not UES/UWS focused. Lots of Brooklyn parents too. Dalton felt down to earth as well, even if it's highly coveted. We were able to spend time in the classrooms and see the kids. All very thoughtful, nice. I can see why this place is so highly regarded! Collegiate didn't feel stuffy either - environment felt remarkably warm when we toured. Boys dress very casually despite the stated dress code in later years. Could tell that they clearly value and foster intellect. Current parents seemed to be more from traditional career backgrounds but everyone seemed nice. Did not tour or assess the other boys schools so can't offer as much comparison here. Trinity felt very professional, type-A career oriented parents. Students seemed smart and thoughtful though. Observed some aggressive parents at the info sessions though! Which makes sense if it's quite hard to get in. The other Brooklyn schools have very distinct vibes. Brooklyn Friends definitely attracted a highly diverse parent mix both from applicants as well as current parent body. Packer seems to be attracting more Manhattan parents so the culture / vibe is changing - we could tell we were one of many interested downtown Manhattan parents. Can't speak to the SS girls schools. |
Anonymous
| Interested in people’s experiences in SS girls schools. Family background similar to OP but HHI is much lower, with no generational wealth. Thanks for anyone’s insights! |
Anonymous
| Tagging along the post right above - we are interested in hearing people's experiences in SS all-boy K-8 schools (Buckley, St. Bernard's, St. David). Thank you in advance! |
Anonymous
| Would love to hear more about the differences in vibe at the DT schools: St Luke’s, Village Community School, Grace Church & Friends. Because we live in Tribeca, I really don’t want to go uptown even though most of famalies at our preschool would sell an organ to get into HM or Trinity. |
Anonymous
Hey, I’m a trinity grad from the late 00’s, kid at dalton k. Posted above about parent scene at dalton. I really think this shouldn’t be a concern. Obviously, its fine to get the nerves about being part of a school community. It’s much less of a big deal than people make it out to be. HOWEVER, I will say at trinity, there were a handful of parents who let loose the dogs of war whenever a teacher deigned to give them less than a top grade. I’m not exaggerating, starting in like 7th grade, a few families pretty much had standing appointments with administration to complain. But I don’t think any of my parents’ friend socialized with them. Dalton is lowkey incredible so far. I have to say we probably fit more closely with private school stereotypes, but we try with everything we have to avoid people who weaponize status. No one has been like that so far. I mean it when I say there hasn’t been a hint of snobbery or elitism. |
Anonymous
I have a child at one of B,C,S. We can pay tuition but otherwise do not have a fancy lifestyle, dual income professionals. I am not involved at all. I am too busy. Seems to be fine. There is an opportunity to be involved as little or as much as you want. Some of the wealth is over the top, but girls are sweet, polite and academically driven. |
Anonymous
Lots and lots of money |
Anonymous
In the exact same position and feel the same way about wanting to stay downtown! Would love to hear more about these schools. |