NYC private school: tips for surviving the parent scene?

[Anonymous]

DC is going to a TT for K in the fall. We don't live on UES/UWS and DC didn't go to a traditional feeder so we're odd ones out and largely navigated the process by ourselves. Our school's PSD didn't understand private exmissions whatsoever. Honestly we feel lucky we got in because we didn't discover Parents League until after we had turned in applications, so there was lots of things that we both had to figure out on the fly.

We're two working professional parents who aren't your traditional finance/law couple. Our income is good (can pay full freight comfortably), but we're just not part of the "scene" and don't want to be. No Hamptons trips, swanky vacations, second homes, etc. We like to chart our own course and largely live down to earth lives.

We just want to get along with the other parents and ensure our kid has a good time. How true is it about the flashy birthday parties, judgemental parents, group chat dramas, etc I'm reading about on this forum? Are there going to be "normal" parents?

Current parents: any survival tips here on how to be part of the community without turning into the very stereotypes we're trying to avoid becoming?

[Anonymous]

I think you should share the school and then we can advise. No one will be able to trace it back to you. For example, you'll have a much easier time navigating Dalton as a low-key couple than Spence, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should share the school and then we can advise. No one will be able to trace it back to you. For example, you'll have a much easier time navigating Dalton as a low-key couple than Spence, in my opinion.

Not OP but can you say more about which schools you think are easier to fit into as a low key couple and which are not

[Anonymous]

I would suggest reading Never Enough by Jennifer Breheny Wallace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should share the school and then we can advise. No one will be able to trace it back to you. For example, you'll have a much easier time navigating Dalton as a low-key couple than Spence, in my opinion.

Agreed 100%. What OP describes would fit in fine at Dalton.

[Anonymous]

My DC is a sophomore at a TT starting in K. One of the great things about private is that you don't have to be involved at all, and everything will be fine. I barely know any of the other parents. DC is fine, great friends, lots of activities, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is a sophomore at a TT starting in K. One of the great things about private is that you don't have to be involved at all, and everything will be fine. I barely know any of the other parents. DC is fine, great friends, lots of activities, etc.

Did your DC start in K? This would be the dream for me lol

[Anonymous]

How are the parents at Riverdale?

[Anonymous]

You are inventing a problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are the parents at Riverdale?

Ehhhh. Definitely a showy group

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should share the school and then we can advise. No one will be able to trace it back to you. For example, you'll have a much easier time navigating Dalton as a low-key couple than Spence, in my opinion.

what about Chapin and Brearley.

[Anonymous]

Any thoughts on the parent scenes at the following?

Collegiate
Trinity
Horace Mann

Curious if the schools known for their academic rigor end up with a certain flavor of parent body too.

[Anonymous]

It’s very similar to prison. Find the smallest, weakest family, and pound them into the dirt. Everyone will know not to mess with you then. Repeat and grind your way up the social pecking order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should share the school and then we can advise. No one will be able to trace it back to you. For example, you'll have a much easier time navigating Dalton as a low-key couple than Spence, in my opinion.

Dalton parent scene is wonderful. Every event so far has been absolutely convivial including the steam event this past weekend. Just lots of friendly people, and we’ve gotten to know many of the parents in our child’s house. It’s a great environment for both kids and parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should share the school and then we can advise. No one will be able to trace it back to you. For example, you'll have a much easier time navigating Dalton as a low-key couple than Spence, in my opinion.

Dalton parent scene is wonderful. Every event so far has been absolutely convivial including the steam event this past weekend. Just lots of friendly people, and we’ve gotten to know many of the parents in our child’s house. It’s a great environment for both kids and parents.

Thank you - great to know. Not Dalton but I'm hopeful my parent community turns out to be wonderful for entering DC.