Do you exercise regularly and your partner does not?

[Anonymous]

I work out regularly but my husband never does. He's also is a terrible eater and very obese. It makes me angry because I feel like I'm going to end up being his caretaker in a few years. I know some things you can't control but so much of his health is self-induced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work out regularly but my husband never does. He's also is a terrible eater and very obese. It makes me angry because I feel like I'm going to end up being his caretaker in a few years. I know some things you can't control but so much of his health is self-induced.

How is your sex life? At least if he satisfies you sexually it's better than nothing.

[Anonymous]

I'm a gym rat, my DH does not like gyms. He walks and golfs but I wish he lifted and worked on his flexibility. As I get older I think these two things are the most important fitness-wise as long as your weight is okay. He could lose 10 pounds but he's fine. OTOH, I'm glad we don't have to compete for gym time, OTO he would be hotter with some muscles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People should worry about their alcohol consumption first.

False. Exercising regularly is far more important for good overall health than small amounts of alcohol is bad for overall health. No matter the recent hysteria, there’s no competition for the positive impact exercise has on you. Even chronic alcohol abuse raises your chances of cancer where you may go from a 40% chance of cancer throughout your life time to 50% chance (and not even sure the data back this up), not exercising and leading a sedentary life, even if you’re skinny, is an order of magnitude worse. An even larger increase in cancer, CV disease, neurodegenerative conditions, and more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work out regularly but my husband never does. He's also is a terrible eater and very obese. It makes me angry because I feel like I'm going to end up being his caretaker in a few years. I know some things you can't control but so much of his health is self-induced.

How is your sex life? At least if he satisfies you sexually it's better than nothing.

Would you be sexually attracted to an obese partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah - I'm not an athlete but I walk a ridiculous amount. My spouse has health issues and is very sedentary. It's frustrating for a couple of reasons - one, I really worry about his health; second, it would be so nice to be able to do things like hike or kayak together. My ex and I were incompatible in so many ways but we both loved to hike and it was such a nice thing to share.

I love my spouse a lot so I try not to fixate on this. Also I saw this same dynamic modeled by my parents (father walks so much and is otherwise active; mother is sedentary by nature and it's exacerbated by health issues). So I sort of see how to live this way compassionately and practically - you need other friends to do activities with, you need to encourage your partner but not nag or berate, etc.

My mom is 66 and my dad is 70. My mom is always doing stuff moving around. my dad on the other hand is always on the couch like a snake. My dad has so many health issues from having lead a sedentary lifestyle.

I really hope many of you ladies aren't going to end up with husbands like my dad. While you are single and dating screen out men who don't exercise regularly. I don't date women who don't exercise regularly. If they don't and are willing to start great. But if they don't see the need for it they can look for another man.

I am the PP you're responding to - and it's mixed causation. A lot of being sedentary is because of not feeling well in the first place. Then health issues are exacerbated by being sedentary. Then they become more sedentary because it's uncomfortable not to be. A vicious cycle.

You can't guarantee anyone won't run into a health issue but, yeah, to the extent you have any control - building activity and strength in when you're healthy and able will hopefully build a good foundation as we age.

I did screen out men who didn't exercise regularly. My two most serious relationships before I met the man I married were with someone who ran marathons (and was also a selfish a**) and the ex I mentioned who I liked to hike with (who was a functional alcoholic). My spouse does what he can - and also doesn't do enough - but also he cares for me and considers me in a way that I am so appreciative of. No one is perfect. I'd rather be with my brilliant, caring husband - and deal with his limitations - than with the athlete who made my life an emotional hell for three years, or the alcoholic who loved activity but also didn't have a lot of conversation.

Anyway, just to say: we all make our choices based on a wide variety of factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW of almost 30 years here. Due to a diagnosis of arthritis and osteoporosis and menopause at 45, I’ve made it my job to exercise regularly and do so. I’ve never considered myself athletic so this was a huge life change for me. I mostly hike and walk 3 miles, 5 days a week. .

Your dedication is an inspiration. A lot of people in your situation still wouldn't exercise.

PP and thanks. Just learned that my 5 year regimen of Fosamax, wearing a weighted vest on my walks, gaining weight and muscle, better nutrition and was apparently all ineffective. My osteoporosis continues unabated per a DEXA scan. It’s worsening.

I let myself wallow over the holidays. Felt discouraged and dejected. Cue : all that work and what did it get me song. Didn’t exercise. Ate what I wanted (more salty snacks and cookies),enjoyed some fabulous restaurant meals and family dinners, lounged around and took naps. Still have the “what’s this all for” attitude but I know that I have to be physically active for my sanity.

[Anonymous]

Wife doesn't exercise at all. I took up running during the pandemic. Was doing pretty well until return-to-office became a thing. It only bothers me when we go hiking on vacation because she just can't handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We both have always exercised. A lot

Met in our mid 20s. 50s now and both WAH and we go to the same workouts.

Our kids are athletic too.

+1. As an athlete, I could not imagine being with someone who also did t understand the need and desire for daily exercise. We both have stayed very fit- now in our 50s. Both our kids (17 and 19) played sports too. We are also very academic.

I’ll put it this way: daily exercise is just something we all do in my family—like brushing your teeth.

And when you get to middle age there is a great chasm between people who always “moved” and those who didn’t. If you want to be mobile on old age - you do it. Use it or lose it.

[Anonymous]

There’s a difference between working out and simply not being sedentary.

There are plenty of people who work on their feet and do physically demanding manual labor 40+ hours a week, yet they’re still not physically fit and many are obese.