DD chooses weird gifts for her friends ... venting here because I know I should say nothing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my daughter got a bunch of junk from a friend - ugh! It looked like they had stopped at CVS on the way to the party. It was full size candy bars, hot Cheetos and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Totally thoughtless and stupid. Hated the jumble of crap. I was pretty shocked a parent would allow it.

My DD would be ever excited for a full size candy bar and a gift card for snacks.

Also, when I was a kid I didn’t have pocket money and my mom wouldn’t let me give presents if it wasn’t a “real” birthday party. I would have to scrounge gifts and yes, sometimes it would be a jumble that was like what you listed above.

Honestly, snacks are better than plastic crap. Hot Cheetos and a Dairy Queen gift card are the 12 year old equivalent of a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Not just any wine, a thoughtfully-selected personal recommendation from the gift-giver.

I’m the PP. My daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetohs and has never been to DQ. Gift was not personal or good. Literally last minute crap. Parenting fail and laziness.

Wow. They’re twelve. What are you expecting? What does your dd not have that she needs to receive as a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my daughter got a bunch of junk from a friend - ugh! It looked like they had stopped at CVS on the way to the party. It was full size candy bars, hot Cheetos and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Totally thoughtless and stupid. Hated the jumble of crap. I was pretty shocked a parent would allow it.

My DD would be ever excited for a full size candy bar and a gift card for snacks.

Also, when I was a kid I didn’t have pocket money and my mom wouldn’t let me give presents if it wasn’t a “real” birthday party. I would have to scrounge gifts and yes, sometimes it would be a jumble that was like what you listed above.

Honestly, snacks are better than plastic crap. Hot Cheetos and a Dairy Queen gift card are the 12 year old equivalent of a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Not just any wine, a thoughtfully-selected personal recommendation from the gift-giver.

I’m the PP. My daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetohs and has never been to DQ. Gift was not personal or good. Literally last minute crap. Parenting fail and laziness.

Gosh. That was a joke on my part. A kid that age is responsible for how they decide to honor their friends.

Let your kid decide how to interpret the gift. And she can easily find a friend who likes garbage snacks and make that person happy.

The only time I've been miffed about a gift was when someone asked a friend if I liked coffee, she said no, then I received a giant espresso maker with a set of espresso cups. Strangely, only 2 of 4 cups were present. And there was a dead spider in the espresso maker box. That was a wedding present from an adult high school friend. I figured it was a thoughtless regift. It was the thoughtlessness that bothered me. However for her later wedding I bought something well-intentioned that I now think was kind of useless. So basically it's not worth being offended.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP. My point is OP should help her daughter find a more thoughtful gift. Not “say nothing.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my daughter got a bunch of junk from a friend - ugh! It looked like they had stopped at CVS on the way to the party. It was full size candy bars, hot Cheetos and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Totally thoughtless and stupid. Hated the jumble of crap. I was pretty shocked a parent would allow it.

My DD would be ever excited for a full size candy bar and a gift card for snacks.

Also, when I was a kid I didn’t have pocket money and my mom wouldn’t let me give presents if it wasn’t a “real” birthday party. I would have to scrounge gifts and yes, sometimes it would be a jumble that was like what you listed above.

Honestly, snacks are better than plastic crap. Hot Cheetos and a Dairy Queen gift card are the 12 year old equivalent of a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Not just any wine, a thoughtfully-selected personal recommendation from the gift-giver.

I’m the PP. My daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetohs and has never been to DQ. Gift was not personal or good. Literally last minute crap. Parenting fail and laziness.

You sound like a miserable person to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my daughter got a bunch of junk from a friend - ugh! It looked like they had stopped at CVS on the way to the party. It was full size candy bars, hot Cheetos and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Totally thoughtless and stupid. Hated the jumble of crap. I was pretty shocked a parent would allow it.

My DD would be ever excited for a full size candy bar and a gift card for snacks.

Also, when I was a kid I didn’t have pocket money and my mom wouldn’t let me give presents if it wasn’t a “real” birthday party. I would have to scrounge gifts and yes, sometimes it would be a jumble that was like what you listed above.

Honestly, snacks are better than plastic crap. Hot Cheetos and a Dairy Queen gift card are the 12 year old equivalent of a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Not just any wine, a thoughtfully-selected personal recommendation from the gift-giver.

I’m the PP. My daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetohs and has never been to DQ. Gift was not personal or good. Literally last minute crap. Parenting fail and laziness.

You sound like a miserable person to be around.

Because my daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetha or DQ? You’re an idiot. Stopping at CVS on the way to a party and gifting snacks is not thoughtful or appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age appropriate.

Let it go

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am mildly embarrassed by the birthday gifts that 12 yo DD wants to give her friends. She strongly prefers to give a mishmash of hair clips, keychains, nightlights, and candy. It looks like we just swung by the dollar store on the way to the party. I provide the funds (so, she's not just trying to save her own money) and sometimes I'll go over budget to get a nice box to put it all in, because I feel bad about it just jumbled in a gift bag.

It's not my friendship and it's great she is taking an active role. But I do worry what the other family thinks. DD mostly receives gift cards or art supplies from these friends.
Anybody else running into this?

I wouldn’t allow a jumble of crap to be given as a gift. Suggest a more thoughtful gift such as a gift card.

[Anonymous]

Just remember, she knows her friends better than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my daughter got a bunch of junk from a friend - ugh! It looked like they had stopped at CVS on the way to the party. It was full size candy bars, hot Cheetos and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Totally thoughtless and stupid. Hated the jumble of crap. I was pretty shocked a parent would allow it.

My DD would be ever excited for a full size candy bar and a gift card for snacks.

Also, when I was a kid I didn’t have pocket money and my mom wouldn’t let me give presents if it wasn’t a “real” birthday party. I would have to scrounge gifts and yes, sometimes it would be a jumble that was like what you listed above.

Honestly, snacks are better than plastic crap. Hot Cheetos and a Dairy Queen gift card are the 12 year old equivalent of a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Not just any wine, a thoughtfully-selected personal recommendation from the gift-giver.

I’m the PP. My daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetohs and has never been to DQ. Gift was not personal or good. Literally last minute crap. Parenting fail and laziness.

You sound like a miserable person to be around.

Because my daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetha or DQ? You’re an idiot. Stopping at CVS on the way to a party and gifting snacks is not thoughtful or appropriate.

Many of us were raised by parents who went by the adage of “give a gift that you’d like to receive.”

Especially at that age when you can’t drive and don’t have a job, and when giving to someone who you know is picky (which wouldn’t be surprising given PP’s attitude), privileged, or who you don’t know really well, it’s hard to select a gift on a limited budget. The Cheetos and DQ card girl probably had a $10 budget from her savings or from her parents and tried to make the best of it.

[Anonymous]

I feel Like 12 year old Girls would Love that! She’s choosing it herself. The moms are buying the gift cards. Don’t worry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am mildly embarrassed by the birthday gifts that 12 yo DD wants to give her friends. She strongly prefers to give a mishmash of hair clips, keychains, nightlights, and candy. It looks like we just swung by the dollar store on the way to the party. I provide the funds (so, she's not just trying to save her own money) and sometimes I'll go over budget to get a nice box to put it all in, because I feel bad about it just jumbled in a gift bag.

It's not my friendship and it's great she is taking an active role. But I do worry what the other family thinks. DD mostly receives gift cards or art supplies from these friends.
Anybody else running into this?

Are the items specific to the recipient? Like she knows the favorite candy or the keychain is related to an interest of the friend? Or is it truly random items?

[Anonymous]

Sounds awesome to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m the PP. My point is OP should help her daughter find a more thoughtful gift. Not “say nothing.”

OP here. DD puts a lot of thought into these gifts and believes the recipient will like them, but we are limited by budget and what exists (e.g., she wanted to get a friend sheet music for certain pop songs, arranged for flute because the friend plays flute; no such song book exists).
She thinks a gift card is not a good gift.

I don't know what the recipients think. My embarrassment is around what the parents think.

[Anonymous]

Ha, mine is like this too. I think she'd love to receive this stuff too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember when my daughter got a bunch of junk from a friend - ugh! It looked like they had stopped at CVS on the way to the party. It was full size candy bars, hot Cheetos and a $5 gift card to Dairy Queen. Totally thoughtless and stupid. Hated the jumble of crap. I was pretty shocked a parent would allow it.

My DD would be ever excited for a full size candy bar and a gift card for snacks.

Also, when I was a kid I didn’t have pocket money and my mom wouldn’t let me give presents if it wasn’t a “real” birthday party. I would have to scrounge gifts and yes, sometimes it would be a jumble that was like what you listed above.

Honestly, snacks are better than plastic crap. Hot Cheetos and a Dairy Queen gift card are the 12 year old equivalent of a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream.

Not just any wine, a thoughtfully-selected personal recommendation from the gift-giver.

I’m the PP. My daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetohs and has never been to DQ. Gift was not personal or good. Literally last minute crap. Parenting fail and laziness.

You sound like a miserable person to be around.

Because my daughter doesn’t like hot Cheetha or DQ? You’re an idiot. Stopping at CVS on the way to a party and gifting snacks is not thoughtful or appropriate.

Says the person using gift as a verb.