DD chooses weird gifts for her friends ... venting here because I know I should say nothing

[Anonymous]

I am mildly embarrassed by the birthday gifts that 12 yo DD wants to give her friends. She strongly prefers to give a mishmash of hair clips, keychains, nightlights, and candy. It looks like we just swung by the dollar store on the way to the party. I provide the funds (so, she's not just trying to save her own money) and sometimes I'll go over budget to get a nice box to put it all in, because I feel bad about it just jumbled in a gift bag.

It's not my friendship and it's great she is taking an active role. But I do worry what the other family thinks. DD mostly receives gift cards or art supplies from these friends.
Anybody else running into this?

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I wanted to teach kids to spend money so said they needed to buy presents from allowance. That just made the kids more cheap!

Mine did similar, and the friendships survived.

[Anonymous]

This is every 12 year old girl ever

[Anonymous]

Yes I’ve had similar thoughts, but it really is ok.

She might be absolutely right that the birthday girl wants a bunch of five below stuff as much as one big item that it high quality. My kids have loved handmade gifts as much as pricey ones…it’s really all ok.

[Anonymous]

Are they good quality or cheap plastic? Teach her to wrap them nicely. Seems normal to me.

[Anonymous]

Eh, if I’m paying, I feel fine to veto.

[Anonymous]

My son that age insists on giving a gift card or sometimes cash with NO birthday card. For some reason, cards are MORTIFYING. Yes, I’m embarrassed that it looks like he’s handing over payment instead of a gift, but they’re his friends and this is not a battle that’s worth fighting.

[Anonymous]

This is what all of my daughters friends do.

[Anonymous]

Age appropriate.

Let it go

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. My daughter and all her friends (15 now) do this. And then once in a while they’ll buy each other $60 perfumes or $40 lip balms. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old gives gifts like this all the time. It’s normal.

[Anonymous]

Normal. Parents probably don’t even know.

[Anonymous]

I'll never forget when I was about that age for my birthday my friend gave me a bunch of small things that were the same color. A bandana, a nail polish, jewelry from Claire's etc. I thought it was the coolest and most creative thing ever and still have the bandana. I think you're overthinking it.

[Anonymous]

Lol my daughter has gotten a bunch of these mix and match bags. Don't worry, I don't assume anything about the parents, even though some collections have been real head scratchers.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PPs! I feel a little better now. - OP