Does your doctor seem to care about you at all?

[Anonymous]

My pcp dies care. But I've been seeing her for over 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of them ever really care. They are not family.

This is kind of true. As a reminder, this is a job. So yes, we care to the extent that we want to do a good job and troubleshoot and problem solve. I care a lot about solving your present problems, if any, and avert new ones. And I “care” to the extent that if I, say, truly believe that inhaler ABC is superior and will actually get your COPD under control, then I will go to bat to complete a prior authorization to make sure you can insurance coverage for that drug.

But do I “care” that you started smoking again in secret because your son is a ne’er do well and left his wife and this is making you anxious and you wish he would get a job and and and. ….. honestly, I don’t.

I’m sure that comes across to you as callous when I cut you off in the middle of your rambling story about your smoking relapse, when I’m explaining to you why your COPD has come raging back. I’ll write a referral to counseling for you and suggest an Internet source where you can select a therapist.

But your lifelong difficult relationship with your adult children is just beyond the scope of your 20 minute appointment. Candidly, your lifetime of poor judgment is also jot something I “care” about on the individual level.

How could I? I would like someone to explain to me how I am supposed to genuinely care about that level of background for 200 patients. You can’t.

Two hundred patients? You only have 200?

NP, PA, or subspecialist (maybe).

Average US PCP panel is around 2500 patients.

[Anonymous]

^^or limited concierge

[Anonymous]

My pcp clearly cares about me to the extent that we create an alliance to address and improve my health. She is very invested in getting me from point a to point b healthwise and has addressed many things my prior PCPs have not. But she's concierge, so I'm paying her for that extra investment. At the end of the day what she cares deeply about is practicing medicine the way it should be practiced; not me in particular.

I think my psychiatrist cares about me a lot as a person because 1) I've been seeing him every month for many years, and 2) we just get along well. But if I were to move away next month or even say I wanted a knew psych, he'd be fine with it. Patients come, patients go. He'd be really sad as we said goodbye, but then he'd move on to the next patient and that would be that.

Every other doctor I've had has been very interested in my medical issue (but not me personally) at best, and not interested even in my medical issue at worst.

Some of you are expecting too much of a relationship with a busy professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^or limited concierge

Even most concierge practices have more than 200 patients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My pcp clearly cares about me to the extent that we create an alliance to address and improve my health. She is very invested in getting me from point a to point b healthwise and has addressed many things my prior PCPs have not. But she's concierge, so I'm paying her for that extra investment. At the end of the day what she cares deeply about is practicing medicine the way it should be practiced; not me in particular.

I think my psychiatrist cares about me a lot as a person because 1) I've been seeing him every month for many years, and 2) we just get along well. But if I were to move away next month or even say I wanted a knew psych, he'd be fine with it. Patients come, patients go. He'd be really sad as we said goodbye, but then he'd move on to the next patient and that would be that.

Every other doctor I've had has been very interested in my medical issue (but not me personally) at best, and not interested even in my medical issue at worst.

Some of you are expecting too much of a relationship with a busy professional.

This seems accurate for my longstanding relationships with my specialists. I do appreciate when they ask about my (young) kids as a starting point for the visit though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your doctor has poor bedside manner. That’s not a new thing. I’d find another.

This.

I know that some medical schools are working to address this with their residents (e.g., Georgetown) but no idea if it is actually effective. Some younger doctors I've seen there have been much more personable and caring (caring-seeming, anyway) than the older ones though, fwiw.

True- I trained a cohort of med students at GW med on bedside manner, etc. This was pre covid- not sure if they ever resumed the program after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 50 clients and I absolutely care about them and put my best professional efforts to helping them. That said, it's a professional relationship and my clients actually benefit when I have some professional distance

Try having 2000, and seeing 25 of them every day.

[Anonymous]

It’s concerning that people think a good doctor is one that is personable. I found the opposite is true. Usually the good ones aren’t particularly personable because they don’t need to be. They have an encyclopedia of knowledge in their head and a wealth of experience that they use to cut right to the point. In the end, I only care that my doctor provides the right diagnoses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My pcp clearly cares about me to the extent that we create an alliance to address and improve my health. She is very invested in getting me from point a to point b healthwise and has addressed many things my prior PCPs have not. But she's concierge, so I'm paying her for that extra investment. At the end of the day what she cares deeply about is practicing medicine the way it should be practiced; not me in particular.

I think my psychiatrist cares about me a lot as a person because 1) I've been seeing him every month for many years, and 2) we just get along well. But if I were to move away next month or even say I wanted a knew psych, he'd be fine with it. Patients come, patients go. He'd be really sad as we said goodbye, but then he'd move on to the next patient and that would be that.

Every other doctor I've had has been very interested in my medical issue (but not me personally) at best, and not interested even in my medical issue at worst.

Some of you are expecting too much of a relationship with a busy professional.

This seems accurate for my longstanding relationships with my specialists. I do appreciate when they ask about my (young) kids as a starting point for the visit though.

Agreed. I think what’s off putting is that some drs don’t seem like they “care” even to the extent of whether they can improve your health issue at all and that’s who I avoid, and others are so robotic and transactional. I recently stopped seeing a longtime pcp who was adequate in medical stuff (not great) because after 10 years he had never initiated even the most banal small talk - weather, holidays, never once asked how I was doing generally or asked about my kids. I know they are super busy but it felt very uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My pcp clearly cares about me to the extent that we create an alliance to address and improve my health. She is very invested in getting me from point a to point b healthwise and has addressed many things my prior PCPs have not. But she's concierge, so I'm paying her for that extra investment. At the end of the day what she cares deeply about is practicing medicine the way it should be practiced; not me in particular.

I think my psychiatrist cares about me a lot as a person because 1) I've been seeing him every month for many years, and 2) we just get along well. But if I were to move away next month or even say I wanted a knew psych, he'd be fine with it. Patients come, patients go. He'd be really sad as we said goodbye, but then he'd move on to the next patient and that would be that.

Every other doctor I've had has been very interested in my medical issue (but not me personally) at best, and not interested even in my medical issue at worst.

Some of you are expecting too much of a relationship with a busy professional.

This seems accurate for my longstanding relationships with my specialists. I do appreciate when they ask about my (young) kids as a starting point for the visit though.

Agreed. I think what’s off putting is that some drs don’t seem like they “care” even to the extent of whether they can improve your health issue at all and that’s who I avoid, and others are so robotic and transactional. I recently stopped seeing a longtime pcp who was adequate in medical stuff (not great) because after 10 years he had never initiated even the most banal small talk - weather, holidays, never once asked how I was doing generally or asked about my kids. I know they are super busy but it felt very uncomfortable.

I don’t blame you at all. Asking how you are holistically is important and relevant to your overall health. So much of our health relates to our lifestyles, stress levels, habits, etc. and it’s important for a PCP to talk about these things with patients. Patients are also much more likely to share and communicate uncomfortable health issues with a provider whom they feel gives a shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My pcp clearly cares about me to the extent that we create an alliance to address and improve my health. She is very invested in getting me from point a to point b healthwise and has addressed many things my prior PCPs have not. But she's concierge, so I'm paying her for that extra investment. At the end of the day what she cares deeply about is practicing medicine the way it should be practiced; not me in particular.

I think my psychiatrist cares about me a lot as a person because 1) I've been seeing him every month for many years, and 2) we just get along well. But if I were to move away next month or even say I wanted a knew psych, he'd be fine with it. Patients come, patients go. He'd be really sad as we said goodbye, but then he'd move on to the next patient and that would be that.

Every other doctor I've had has been very interested in my medical issue (but not me personally) at best, and not interested even in my medical issue at worst.

Some of you are expecting too much of a relationship with a busy professional.

This seems accurate for my longstanding relationships with my specialists. I do appreciate when they ask about my (young) kids as a starting point for the visit though.

Agreed. I think what’s off putting is that some drs don’t seem like they “care” even to the extent of whether they can improve your health issue at all and that’s who I avoid, and others are so robotic and transactional. I recently stopped seeing a longtime pcp who was adequate in medical stuff (not great) because after 10 years he had never initiated even the most banal small talk - weather, holidays, never once asked how I was doing generally or asked about my kids. I know they are super busy but it felt very uncomfortable.

I don’t blame you at all. Asking how you are holistically is important and relevant to your overall health. So much of our health relates to our lifestyles, stress levels, habits, etc. and it’s important for a PCP to talk about these things with patients. Patients are also much more likely to share and communicate uncomfortable health issues with a provider whom they feel gives a shit.

PP you responded to - yes, one of the reasons I decided I’d had enough is that I think some drs are just better at navigating this as tough as I’m sure it is. My kids’ pediatrician is very busy and has many patients but remembers my kids, recalls things about them and their health and manages to seem warm and interested although is clearly on a clock and needing to keep moving. That contrast was really evident to me because every time I saw my pcp (maybe 3x a year for 10 years on avg) I wasn’t entirely sure if he remembered who I was or anything about me.

[Anonymous]

US healthcare is broken. Period. It is so bad the country is increasingly no longer a viable option anymore to live in.

[Anonymous]

PCP and OBGyn, yes.

[Anonymous]

I have three doctors in my family and I am positive they all care, as they often talk about (not specifics) patients and their problems. It is emotionally draining for them to see very sick children, for example, or people who do not take care of themselves, and it impacts them. Do they express themselves in a way that these patients see as caring - I do not know - but they do care. I imagine most doctors are like this.