Does your doctor seem to care about you at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your doctor has poor bedside manner. That’s not a new thing. I’d find another.

This.

I know that some medical schools are working to address this with their residents (e.g., Georgetown) but no idea if it is actually effective. Some younger doctors I've seen there have been much more personable and caring (caring-seeming, anyway) than the older ones though, fwiw.

This is odd because I would say Drs trained at Georgetown are the least compassionate. It is good to hear they are addressing this. Based on my experience it is best to avoid large teaching institutions. They are best saved for a specific specialist or Dr that you are needing and not focused on care. They will do a good job treating your condition if it fits their interest. The best CARE is found off the beaten path. A smaller community type setting has worked well for our family.

Yes!! Ive seen a few doctors from Georgetown they're the least compassionate! They dont even try to hide it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This struck me when my PCP went concierge. They are quite prepared to leave 3/4 of their patients dangling without a primary care doctor.

My concierge doctor can careless $2000 a year to be treated like that. Yes I'm looking for a new one.

[Anonymous]

My DC18 attended her very first GP appointment solo - routine physical with a vax.

GP began the appointment by asking what her father’s cause of death was so they could update her records.

DH is alive and well and also a patient at same practice.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never assumed any doctor or service provider cares about me. Heck, my own family only barely cares about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of them ever really care. They are not family.

This is kind of true. As a reminder, this is a job. So yes, we care to the extent that we want to do a good job and troubleshoot and problem solve. I care a lot about solving your present problems, if any, and avert new ones. And I “care” to the extent that if I, say, truly believe that inhaler ABC is superior and will actually get your COPD under control, then I will go to bat to complete a prior authorization to make sure you can insurance coverage for that drug.

But do I “care” that you started smoking again in secret because your son is a ne’er do well and left his wife and this is making you anxious and you wish he would get a job and and and. ….. honestly, I don’t.

I’m sure that comes across to you as callous when I cut you off in the middle of your rambling story about your smoking relapse, when I’m explaining to you why your COPD has come raging back. I’ll write a referral to counseling for you and suggest an Internet source where you can select a therapist.

But your lifelong difficult relationship with your adult children is just beyond the scope of your 20 minute appointment. Candidly, your lifetime of poor judgment is also jot something I “care” about on the individual level.

How could I? I would like someone to explain to me how I am supposed to genuinely care about that level of background for 200 patients. You can’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of them ever really care. They are not family.

This is kind of true. As a reminder, this is a job. So yes, we care to the extent that we want to do a good job and troubleshoot and problem solve. I care a lot about solving your present problems, if any, and avert new ones. And I “care” to the extent that if I, say, truly believe that inhaler ABC is superior and will actually get your COPD under control, then I will go to bat to complete a prior authorization to make sure you can insurance coverage for that drug.

But do I “care” that you started smoking again in secret because your son is a ne’er do well and left his wife and this is making you anxious and you wish he would get a job and and and. ….. honestly, I don’t.

I’m sure that comes across to you as callous when I cut you off in the middle of your rambling story about your smoking relapse, when I’m explaining to you why your COPD has come raging back. I’ll write a referral to counseling for you and suggest an Internet source where you can select a therapist.

But your lifelong difficult relationship with your adult children is just beyond the scope of your 20 minute appointment. Candidly, your lifetime of poor judgment is also jot something I “care” about on the individual level.

How could I? I would like someone to explain to me how I am supposed to genuinely care about that level of background for 200 patients. You can’t.

And there's the truth. The "job" is to feign humanity long enough that we keep coming back (so they keep getting paid), while reducing us to objects/things (200 patients, not people, and yes, it matters) to speed up processing. You can hear the condescension: "Candidly, your lifetime of poor judgment is also..."

Cows are treated similarly, and similar excuses are made for why.

[Anonymous]

No, but I also don't really care? Their job is to give me good advice and treatment, not care about me. I'm a lawyer who works with individual clients. I do my best for them, but I do not care about them personally in the slightest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of them ever really care. They are not family.

This is kind of true. As a reminder, this is a job. So yes, we care to the extent that we want to do a good job and troubleshoot and problem solve. I care a lot about solving your present problems, if any, and avert new ones. And I “care” to the extent that if I, say, truly believe that inhaler ABC is superior and will actually get your COPD under control, then I will go to bat to complete a prior authorization to make sure you can insurance coverage for that drug.

But do I “care” that you started smoking again in secret because your son is a ne’er do well and left his wife and this is making you anxious and you wish he would get a job and and and. ….. honestly, I don’t.

I’m sure that comes across to you as callous when I cut you off in the middle of your rambling story about your smoking relapse, when I’m explaining to you why your COPD has come raging back. I’ll write a referral to counseling for you and suggest an Internet source where you can select a therapist.

But your lifelong difficult relationship with your adult children is just beyond the scope of your 20 minute appointment. Candidly, your lifetime of poor judgment is also jot something I “care” about on the individual level.

How could I? I would like someone to explain to me how I am supposed to genuinely care about that level of background for 200 patients. You can’t.

I find this fair. I would call my doctors caring, especially my specialist/surgeon who listens with empathy and seemed genuinely disappointed that a procedure did not go well or to hear I am still in pain. I think they care to do a good job and for me, as patient, to have a good outcome while being as comfortable as possible. But, obviously, I don't think they think about me when they're not at work or feel very passionately about my case or would be disappointed if I switched practices.

[Anonymous]

I have 50 clients and I absolutely care about them and put my best professional efforts to helping them. That said, it's a professional relationship and my clients actually benefit when I have some professional distance

[Anonymous]

In the sense of striving to treat me compassionately and to do their best for me - I have a couple of doctors who fit this and they're my faves.

But my PCP? Ugh, no. I feel like a widget, she is very robotic. I have had a hard time finding a good PCP.

[Anonymous]

Well, bedside manner and whether or not you "are allowed to talk about more than one thing" are two separate issues.

Depending on the practice and how coding works with an insurance company for any given issue they may not be able to bill for more than one thing addressed in one appointment, and so if it takes them time to do so, they don't get paid. Requiring another appointment for a second complaint is pretty common. They also simply may not have time to do it -- the next patient is waiting, they are already running behind, etc. This is one of the benefits of concierge practice -- they can take their time and address everything that is going on with the patient.

Lack of empathy is another issue. Which it sounds like you dealt with. It can be a problem in the healing professions if empathy isn't expressed, for some patients anyway, but with doctor workloads and burnout it doesn't surprise me that you encountered it. If it bothers you that much you should probably find another doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This struck me when my PCP went concierge. They are quite prepared to leave 3/4 of their patients dangling without a primary care doctor.

This seems like a really uninformed statement.
Or they may really care and want to provide good care to the number of patients they feel they can without having to see patients every 15 minutes.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never assumed any doctor or service provider cares about me. Heck, my own family only barely cares about me.

Lol. Same.

Not sure what OP and some of these PPs expect out of a doctor who sees over 1000 patients a year...

[Anonymous]

I have a doctor (specialist) who I see for a chronic condition twice a year who does actually seem to care, in a kind and professional manner. I’ve had other doctors treat this long term condition over decades and they generally have been ok to very, very awful. So I’m just hoping that my current doctor doesn’t leave!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of them ever really care. They are not family.

This is kind of true. As a reminder, this is a job. So yes, we care to the extent that we want to do a good job and troubleshoot and problem solve. I care a lot about solving your present problems, if any, and avert new ones. And I “care” to the extent that if I, say, truly believe that inhaler ABC is superior and will actually get your COPD under control, then I will go to bat to complete a prior authorization to make sure you can insurance coverage for that drug.

But do I “care” that you started smoking again in secret because your son is a ne’er do well and left his wife and this is making you anxious and you wish he would get a job and and and. ….. honestly, I don’t.

I’m sure that comes across to you as callous when I cut you off in the middle of your rambling story about your smoking relapse, when I’m explaining to you why your COPD has come raging back. I’ll write a referral to counseling for you and suggest an Internet source where you can select a therapist.

But your lifelong difficult relationship with your adult children is just beyond the scope of your 20 minute appointment. Candidly, your lifetime of poor judgment is also jot something I “care” about on the individual level.

How could I? I would like someone to explain to me how I am supposed to genuinely care about that level of background for 200 patients. You can’t.

Two hundred patients? You only have 200?