Why reach out at 9am after years of not speaking and then immediately go radio silent?

[Anonymous]

You are exhausting. Talk to your therapsit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was for a different DANIELLE. When you texted back she realized her mistake and didn't text back although she should use this as an opportunity.

And OP's fallback is that a text from an unknown number came through and she politely wished the person a HNY as well. end of.

Op didn’t say it was an unknown number, she seems to know exactly from whom the text came.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was for a different DANIELLE. When you texted back she realized her mistake and didn't text back although she should use this as an opportunity.

And OP's fallback is that a text from an unknown number came through and she politely wished the person a HNY as well. end of.

Op didn’t say it was an unknown number, she seems to know exactly from whom the text came.

Right but that's how she saves face (to herself for now) that there was no response. As far as the sender knows, she was just sending a polite response to a contact she had deleted. Not that she saved the contact and was pining for communication. Nonchalant, you know?

[Anonymous]

I think the estranged person who sent you a happy new year text wanted to reach out, but doesn't know what else to say. You're estranged for a reason. You politely responded and it's all you can do. They obviously have some issues of how to communicate and I'm sure this is not the first instance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s odd that so many of you still have the numbers of estranged people in your phone contacts.

NP. I have my parents’ numbers in my phone still. They’re not blocked. I have their alerts off though. Sometimes they’ll send a text with info about someone dying (in the least sensitive way possible usually), so I don’t block them. My sister doesn’t block them because she’s holding onto a fantasy that they’ll reach out and apologize someday and then they can be a happy family again.

It’s a complex issue. It’s not like blocking them blocks all the memories and negative emotions. I would block them if they harassed me, but they don’t so I leave it like it is.

[Anonymous]

FWIW I get what you’re saying OP. I would be so suspect of the person I’m estranged from if they just texted out of the blue and would wonder why and what ulterior motive they had. They’ve never done anything just to be nice, so this wouldn’t come across as just trying to be nice at all if I were in your shoes. I’m not sure what to tell you - I’d overthink it too but that might just what they want! Try to let it go, but I know that’s easier said than done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Danielle, you DO sound paranoid. Take it for what it was - they're just wishing you a happy new year. Nothing more, nothing less. They're not looking to hash out the issues from the past, not looking to rekindle a family relationship. They just wanted to wish you happy new year.

But why now, after nearly a decade?

Have you considered asking them?

[Anonymous]

They took a big leap making the first contact. Ball is in your court now. If you want to engage, ask a friendly question. If you are okay with how things are, just leave it as it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They took a big leap making the first contact. Ball is in your court now. If you want to engage, ask a friendly question. If you are okay with how things are, just leave it as it is.

This is the answer OP but probably not how PP meant it. Balls in your court, meaning this person can now say hey I tried!! And go on thinking they’re the victim of you not reaching out more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

They sent “Happy New Year, DANIELLE” to everyone?

There are apps that will send a message to everyone in their contacts with a personalized greeting for the name. Businesses use this all the time. Essentially, your "friend" send a form letter to their contacts and you took it personally. They probably also received a dozen responses after sending the bulk messages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

This! There's a dozen ways to mass text your contacts with the first name inserted to make it look personal. Realtors use this frequently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

This! There's a dozen ways to mass text your contacts with the first name inserted to make it look personal. Realtors use this frequently.

I'm sure professionals do this, but why would some random person waste their energy to do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

This! There's a dozen ways to mass text your contacts with the first name inserted to make it look personal. Realtors use this frequently.

I'm sure professionals do this, but why would some random person waste their energy to do it?

Because it's the easiest way to make people think you are texting them personally. It takes very little energy to download an app and tap the screen once to send a message to every single contact greeting them with their first name. Even OP was fooled into thinking that this person was reaching out. They're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

This! There's a dozen ways to mass text your contacts with the first name inserted to make it look personal. Realtors use this frequently.

I'm sure professionals do this, but why would some random person waste their energy to do it?

It is not wasting energy, it literally is conserving energy by taking away need to text people individually

[Anonymous]

A couple years ago I had a fling with a guy whose sister has the same first name as me. If he tells Siri to call/text ‘Karla’ it will call me. Lol