Why reach out at 9am after years of not speaking and then immediately go radio silent?

[Anonymous]

Many years ago I had a falling out with a family member. Early this morning I received a text message from them, and I assume it was meant for me because it said “Happy New Year, Danielle!” I thought to myself, it’s 2025; I’ll receive this olive branch, and so I replied back wishing the same. It’s been 12 hours now and they haven’t responded. Now I’m confused.

I hate to sound paranoid but, was there an ulterior motive at play? Some sort of game to see if I’d reply? Maybe trying to see if I still had the same phone number? But why?

And what if it was actually meant for a different Danielle, and that’s why I haven’t heard back?

I’m sort of upset with myself for falling for this and responding against my better judgement. Why reach out at 9am after years of not speaking and then immediately go radio silent?

[Anonymous]

I understand why you’re upset, but they texted, you responded. That’s a normal interaction. Them not responding AGAIN after you responded is not “going radio silent.”

[Anonymous]

They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand why you’re upset, but they texted, you responded. That’s a normal interaction. Them not responding AGAIN after you responded is not “going radio silent.”

That’s fair. But why reach out if you don’t plan on keeping it going. It just feels manipulative to me. But that’s probably because our history and the back story of our estrangement. I just should have known better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They probably sent a message to their whole contact list.

They sent “Happy New Year, DANIELLE” to everyone?

[Anonymous]

Did YOU keep it going by adding something more than “Happy New Year, Larla”? In your shoes I would have said something that invited a response, like, “Did you have a good New Year’s Eve?” or “How are you?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did YOU keep it going by adding something more than “Happy New Year, Larla”? In your shoes I would have said something that invited a response, like, “Did you have a good New Year’s Eve?” or “How are you?”

I did not, but I wasn’t the one who reached out. If I text someone “Hey Larla” and they reply with “Hey Danielle”, I usually continue with whatever it was I texted them about in the first place.

If they texted just because they were thinking of me, well, why were they thinking of me? It just feels weird.

[Anonymous]

Probably it was difficult for the person to even initiate the first message. So, not surprising they was as much as they could muster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably it was difficult for the person to even initiate the first message. So, not surprising they was as much as they could muster.

I just wish they would have said more. Because of our past, it just feels somehow manipulative and like they are fishing for something. I feel awkward not knowing their motive before responding back with more. Lots of past, too much to get into here in this post.

[Anonymous]

Danielle, you DO sound paranoid. Take it for what it was - they're just wishing you a happy new year. Nothing more, nothing less. They're not looking to hash out the issues from the past, not looking to rekindle a family relationship. They just wanted to wish you happy new year.

[Anonymous]

They greeted you, you responded. End of exchange. You’re not close but they acknowledged you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably it was difficult for the person to even initiate the first message. So, not surprising they was as much as they could muster.

I just wish they would have said more. Because of our past, it just feels somehow manipulative and like they are fishing for something. I feel awkward not knowing their motive before responding back with more. Lots of past, too much to get into here in this post.

Danielle, get a hold of yourself! There was no manipulation! They didn't fish for anything. They just wanted to send you well wishes for the new year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Danielle, you DO sound paranoid. Take it for what it was - they're just wishing you a happy new year. Nothing more, nothing less. They're not looking to hash out the issues from the past, not looking to rekindle a family relationship. They just wanted to wish you happy new year.

But why now, after nearly a decade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably it was difficult for the person to even initiate the first message. So, not surprising they was as much as they could muster.

I just wish they would have said more. Because of our past, it just feels somehow manipulative and like they are fishing for something. I feel awkward not knowing their motive before responding back with more. Lots of past, too much to get into here in this post.

I hear you. I just can’t help but feel strange.
Danielle, get a hold of yourself! There was no manipulation! They didn't fish for anything. They just wanted to send you well wishes for the new year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Danielle, you DO sound paranoid. Take it for what it was - they're just wishing you a happy new year. Nothing more, nothing less. They're not looking to hash out the issues from the past, not looking to rekindle a family relationship. They just wanted to wish you happy new year.

But why now, after nearly a decade?

What was the falling out about