Why reach out at 9am after years of not speaking and then immediately go radio silent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Danielle, you DO sound paranoid. Take it for what it was - they're just wishing you a happy new year. Nothing more, nothing less. They're not looking to hash out the issues from the past, not looking to rekindle a family relationship. They just wanted to wish you happy new year.

But why now, after nearly a decade?

Maybe out of guilt?

As people get older they have regrets. So maybe they are trying to turn over a new leaf for the new year or something.

[Anonymous]

You are whack. Either accept it as a nice exchange if wishes or text back hey, it was good to hear from you. How are you doing?

[Anonymous]

This happened to me recently. A family member I have been estranged from for years sent me a text saying they were thinking of me and hoped that I was OK. I texted back that I was doing fine and also told them happy birthday, because it was their birthday. Nothing back. Nothing at all.

My therapist said “that’s a poke not a real attempt at connection, and it shows extreme emotional immaturity.” If someone with emotional maturity reaches out to someone with the intention of potentially mending the relationship, or having some kind of connection again, they will say more than “happy new year.” If I were you I’d be glad they didn’t respond, and hope they just leave you alone going forward.

It’s also possible they mistakenly sent a Happy New Year text to all of their contacts.

I’d just stop giving it anymore thought or energy than you already have.

[Anonymous]

I think about people I’m estranged from all the time. I don’t text them, but if I did, it would be the equivalent of happy new year, and then I wouldn’t be interested in further conversation, because were estranged for a reason. LET THIS GO.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm I can see why you're estranged from people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm I can see why you're estranged from people.

Why would you say that to OP?

OP, they might have just wanted to see if you'd respond to them, and you did. Do you want to keep it going? If not, then that's all it is.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s odd that so many of you still have the numbers of estranged people in your phone contacts.

[Anonymous]

Stop overthinking. It was a friendly overture which opened the door. You politely responded.

There’s zero requirement for further engagement unless you want to engage

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are testing the waters. Maybe they just want to sort of leave things on a more pleasant note. If you want to see if the relationship can resume you can text back, it was nice to hear from you, how are you? If not, stop agonizing about it.

[Anonymous]

Is there some kind of family event coming up in the next year? Something where they want to be included in or something where someone else might be pressuring them to include you? Are they prone to gaslighting?

They may be trying to set the stage to pretend nothing happened and everything is normal. They don’t want a relationship with you but they also don’t want the burden of having to avoid you.

[Anonymous]

I actually think there’s a good chance they thought you were a different “Danielle.” Especially if that is not your name and you have a more common name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop overthinking. It was a friendly overture which opened the door. You politely responded.

There’s zero requirement for further engagement unless you want to engage

+1

[Anonymous]

It was for a different DANIELLE. When you texted back she realized her mistake and didn't text back although she should use this as an opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was for a different DANIELLE. When you texted back she realized her mistake and didn't text back although she should use this as an opportunity.

And OP's fallback is that a text from an unknown number came through and she politely wished the person a HNY as well. end of.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a strange way to try manipulate someone. And yet, it you're completely wound up, so apparently it's effective. But, I think it's all in your head.