Teens on phone the entire time in a party - is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Not that there is anything wrong with kids learning how to socialize with kids they may not know, but arebtz we talking about gatherings with cousins or family friends that the kids knew for all of their life or most of it? I'm not seeing why this would be awkward or why the kids wouldn't be able to socialize with them or entertain themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a mixed adult kid party - yes some - especially for age 12-14. They are an uncomfortable and hide in their phones.

“Uncomfortable?” Why? Because you haven’t raised them to be functional humans?

Um - no. I also wrote the previous post - who brought my 14 yo to a party Xmas Eve. It’s the age. They are uncomfortable and self conscious at this age. I haven’t allowed mine to hide in their phones but if allowed I can see how that would happen with this age, is all. My oldest was the same at 14 and now she’s confident and adept in social situations like this. Being uncomfortable isn’t bad, just what it is.

Your high school student is uncomfortable going to a family party at a friend’s house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a mixed adult kid party - yes some - especially for age 12-14. They are an uncomfortable and hide in their phones.

“Uncomfortable?” Why? Because you haven’t raised them to be functional humans?

Um - no. I also wrote the previous post - who brought my 14 yo to a party Xmas Eve. It’s the age. They are uncomfortable and self conscious at this age. I haven’t allowed mine to hide in their phones but if allowed I can see how that would happen with this age, is all. My oldest was the same at 14 and now she’s confident and adept in social situations like this. Being uncomfortable isn’t bad, just what it is.

Your high school student is uncomfortable going to a family party at a friend’s house?

+1 don't they know the people there?

[Anonymous]

It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At a mixed adult kid party - yes some - especially for age 12-14. They are an uncomfortable and hide in their phones.

“Uncomfortable?” Why? Because you haven’t raised them to be functional humans?

Um - no. I also wrote the previous post - who brought my 14 yo to a party Xmas Eve. It’s the age. They are uncomfortable and self conscious at this age. I haven’t allowed mine to hide in their phones but if allowed I can see how that would happen with this age, is all. My oldest was the same at 14 and now she’s confident and adept in social situations like this. Being uncomfortable isn’t bad, just what it is.

Your high school student is uncomfortable going to a family party at a friend’s house?

+1 don't they know the people there?

Not pp, but I brought my 14 year old to a family party with my cousin, her husband and my aunt. We tried to rope him into the conversation but other than that no one else spoke to him or asked him anything about himself. He would when loved to disappear on his phone as he was bored out of his mind. We see these people 1x a year and I’m thinking we won’t even see them next year. What’s the point, honestly? It’s just another thing for me to have to do at a very busy time of year and my kids were miserable and no one but me seemed to care about them so I’m just going to drop it. Usually I host, but this year I said I couldn’t and this is what happened. So, I’m done. Zero point in wasting my time doing small talk and to get some cheap gifts from temu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How well do these kids know each other? Is it just the parents are friends and the kids are expected to socialize based on that. I think that gets tricky as the kids get older. I am not excusing the behavior but in a few more years the kids will likely not attend that type of event.

Doesn’t matter. Functioning in a social setting is a life skill. These kids will grow up to be adults who need to be able to make small talk with the guests seated at the same table as they are at a wedding reception, or with colleagues at work events and conferences. They need to navigate job interviews. You have to teach them how to do this. It’s a huge disservice to just let them zone out on their phone in a social setting.

NP and it does matter. 12-14 yo are not going to have good social skills. If these kids were dragged to a holiday party with the parents they are not going to socialize if they don’t know each other. It’s different if they are 5-7 or over 17. Little kids play with anyone. Older teens have better social skills. The middle school years are awkward and painful for boys and girls. No, they won’t be talking to kids they don’t know.

They can be shy and awkward. They can be quiet and barely talk. They can also do that NOT sitting on their phone in someone else’s house. It’s incredible that some of you don’t get how rude that is. If my kids sit there and don’t say one word, they’re at least going to do it without being able to escape the situation by staring at their phone . You’re raising a bunch of asocial cretins by allowing this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

That doesn’t fly almost 5 years later. Why are the parents allowing this kind of phone behavior NOW? That’s the issue. The kids shouldn’t even have brought their phone to the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really hard to get the kids off the phone and to engage. Kids just don't know ow how to even if you take the phone away.

Your best bet was to have an activity that didn't involve the phone and use that to get them interacting. With teenage boys I would have nerf guns, laser tag or something.

1. It's not hard if you're the adult who owns the home. Just announce there's a no-phones rule and point out where they can put them.
2. So give them a game to play - it'll get them talking.
3. You don't just give up and let them stay buried in their phones. We help them become capable of socializing and be part of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

When will people stop using this as an excuse for so many behaviors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

When will people stop using this as an excuse for so many behaviors?

Lazy parents use it all of the time. They don’t have to help their kids this way. Just throw up their hands and blame online school 5 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

When will people stop using this as an excuse for so many behaviors?

Lazy parents use it all of the time. They don’t have to help their kids this way. Just throw up their hands and blame online school 5 years ago.

Parents giving their kids phones in 2024:

The bad phone behavior is from online school in 2020.

CLOWNS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

That doesn’t fly almost 5 years later. Why are the parents allowing this kind of phone behavior NOW? That’s the issue. The kids shouldn’t even have brought their phone to the party.

Ok. Do you have a teenager? Do you know any teenagers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

Nope. That was one year, 1.5 at the most. The problem is because of copious screen time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is both common and so concerning. So many problems that teenagers have today are because of this.

The problems are because of online school when they were locked away.

When will people stop using this as an excuse for so many behaviors?

Lazy parents use it all of the time. They don’t have to help their kids this way. Just throw up their hands and blame online school 5 years ago.

If it’s one kid, I get your point, but ime it’s all kids. Our friend group is a mix of B/G kids ranging in age from 14-9. Some don’t have phones but at parties they basically segregate by sex and watch tv or play games on their phones. They are not sitting around chatting.