That cash pay is so problematic. My next door neighbor had a nanny the kids loved, paying the required taxes. Nanny wanted to go cash pay off the books. Neighbor said she could not do it because she was an attorney in government. Offered to pay all the employee share of tax. Nanny wanted cash. They split. |
That’s where I think you should’ve started. It’s easier to create a nanny share situation if you already have a great, willing and vetted nanny instead of trying to swoop in on an existing situation without being an exact fit. Once you have an established nanny, it may be easier for you to call the shots on pricing and the time split as well. Also to your point that people looked you up and saw that you were black. That’s far fetched. a lot of black people speak a whole octave deeper than everybody else so it’s often easier to tell someone is black by their voice than it is to tell if someone is any other race. They likely already knew that but were interested and you guys didn’t work out for other reasons. |
Oh racism could be a factor.
Perhaps Jack and Jill would be a good network for finding families to share. I only had one on one Nannie’s. That was hard enough. If I were parenting a little one today, I would go day care. And a one on one for say first 18 months to two years could be a compromise. |
I don’t think any of us can know what the basis is fully for your predicament, and whether and how much it relates to race. In any event, one thing to check if you haven’t already is what pops up when you’re and your spouse‘s name is googled. For anything like this, once I had the full names, and possibly address, I would do a Google search. Sometimes this can pop up weird things that could be a flag to someone thinking of such a close personal relationship as sharing childcare. As context, I do this check myself, for myself, husband and kids, as I have a colleague who wound up with some strange stuff out there that could have been misinterpreted. |
It’s not because you are black. There’s something else that is not matching up. Schedule, hours or pay. |
Welcome to being a minority in a white/UMC community. This is the norm. If I had to do things over again, I would have raised my kids in a more diverse (both racially and economically) neighborhood. |
I’m not sure it’s all because of your race. There are a lot of interracial couples/families in this area. Nanny share is so rare that if I were entertaining it, race wouldn’t be the main factor. It’s probably something else not matching up (and race is a minor part of it). Most likely the share part is just too difficult to realistically implement, and they backed out after talking through the details with you. |
Are you really this out of touch? |
I know 3 couples within 5 blocks of my house who do nanny share. Very common these days. Nannies are more motivated in the share since they get much more $$, and parents save as well. |
You remind me of a woman I once worked with. If someone said hello to someone else before saying hello to her then she screamed discrimination. |
I am white and hired my own nanny while waiting for daycare to open up (spending more than I took in for a few months, as I was already paying daycare for an older child and because I had to purchase a standalone worker's comp policy). I did not want to go through the drama of finding a share for only a short time (it's two separate employers that need to get along with each other and the employee). I would have been open to a share with anyone if I hadn't wanted my kids together in the same daycare/preschool long time. |
Except everyone is okay with having two bosses as long as both are white, so there’s that… |