My gf offered to ask a family friend to stay at their place in NYC. The family friend is really her ex’s family friend….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

That was my take too: it's not about the ex, its about her love of the lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So wait. This isn't your GF'exes family but your gf's exes' friends family. So she has remained friends with a friend of her ex. Looking through the issue of the place. That sounds a mite controlling of who she can see.

As for the rental in NYC. Sack up and see how the other side lives. Wouldn't bother me in the least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

That was my take too: it's not about the ex, its about her love of the lifestyle.

Staying in a multimillion dollar condo in one the most expensive places in the world for free because it’s been offered to you means you “love the lifestyle”? lol.

It’s a free and nice place to stay in a very expensive place. If someone won a free weekend at the Four Seasons and stayed there I guess they’d love the lifestyle too

[Anonymous]

I wonder how anyone would accept freebies and favors from someone random if they can't reciprocate?

[Anonymous]

This is insecure energy on your part. Not attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insecure energy on your part. Not attractive.

No OP should worry. Ex has money. Women act differently around the wealthy and OP’s girl has money on her mind. She is most likely looking for reasons to reach out to the family. Hoping the family will put pressure on her ex to get back together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

I don't know about that. We were watching a show where the SO was struggling financially, so I told her yesterday if she ever needed money she could always ask me. She said thank you but she would never ask me for money and that she’d rather work a second job than ask me for money.

There is a cheaters show on YouTube that catches woman and men who cheat on their significant others by placing a plant that they would fall for. So the woman always cheats with a much richer man and the man always cheats for a much prettier woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insecure energy on your part. Not attractive.

No OP should worry. Ex has money. Women act differently around the wealthy and OP’s girl has money on her mind. She is most likely looking for reasons to reach out to the family. Hoping the family will put pressure on her ex to get back together.

What? The ex doesn’t have the money.

[Anonymous]

I grew up wealthy - not fancy condo in NY wealthy, but parents had multiple homes wealthy. When my mom and I went to London we stayed in a friend’s condo for a few weeks. If I went back and could stay there again I would. But I married a man who was a graduate student when I married him and makes about $250k now (I make about $150k). We’ve been together since college (over 25 years) and we live off our salaries - any money my family gives us we invest or put aside for college. When my parents visit and offer to take us to nice restaurants I enjoy it, but just because one enjoys a life style doesn’t mean one has to have it. I appreciated that my inherited wealth actually gave me freedom to marry without much consideration to his finances.

I would definitely stay at the condo. I enjoy nice things and I love nice things I don’t have to pay for!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imho tendency to freeload isn't a good characteristic. I would stay where I can afford instead of asking for favors.

Rich people swap homes all the time, and do each other favors

Keywords are swap and each other. They may like sharing with family and close friends and wouldn't mind if their kids, siblings, sibling-in law or nieces/nephews bring their significant others or best friends. A nephew's ex asking to stay her new BF is rather odd in my opinion.

I fully understand concept of house sitters but those come with waivers and get covered by liability in case something happens.

Agree. Very odd.

Their son died not too long ago and she stepped up in a major way to help them. Was there cooking every night for them. Went on walks with the dad to get him out of the house. According to her they already really liked her but their son passing and her being there for them I guess sealed the deal. At the funeral there were only about 8 people invited and she was one of them. My gf’s mom died a few months ago and they returned the favor. They are close and they just love her I guess?

These are HER friends now. They are more like family. Her ex doesn’t own these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

Read between the lines: the ex is still family, in her eyes.

I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She's still close to the family, including her ex, and that son is a permanent reminder of her ex. He's a stupid jerk, but she still stays in close touch with him and his family, and you are secondary to all that and effectively the third wheel. She did and still does feel strongest about him and his family, but now tolerates you, because he walked out of the picture and you're the next best option (in her mind) that she could land.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.

She is still in an emotional relationship with her ex and his family, even if it's one-sided and her ex truly has moved on, and the child is a permanent reminder of that relationship.

Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

[b]Yes and yes. You're the financial paypig for her and their child, while at the same time being told the hotels you can afford aren't good enough, while his are.

You'll never quite measure up to him in the eyes of her or her son, financially or otherwise, because he's Daddy with the rich and connected family, and you're just Ted, the guy who pours out his soul working to turn one guy's mess into a well-oiled machine, but it's never good enough, because he was born to wealth and you worked hard to attain less, and he's the bio Daddy and you're just the family friend.

Being a stepdad is an unforgiving cross to bear. Walk away while it's still a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, because the disrespect only gets worse from here.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, forgot to bold the last answer in my previous post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

I don't know about that. We were watching a show where the SO was struggling financially, so I told her yesterday if she ever needed money she could always ask me. She said thank you but she would never ask me for money and that she’d rather work a second job than ask me for money.

So she'll go to a family connected to her ex to have an expensive hotel paid for, but not ask her boyfriend for help in a financial emergency? This is so convoluted... It now sounds like she doesn't respect you or your ability to be a financial provider, and is still very much in a one-sided relationship with her ex. It's been less than a year, and they had a child together, so it's no surprise.

I think she's still broken from her ex and there's nothing you can do to fix the situation. Time may or may not heal it. Seriously consider walking away.

[jsteele]

I am going to lock this due to sock puppeting by the original poster.