My gf offered to ask a family friend to stay at their place in NYC. The family friend is really her ex’s family friend….

[Anonymous]

I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

[Anonymous]

Yes
Weird and insulting.

She’s not over that ex and she still feels connected to that ex.

Let the relationship go. Let this situation be the catalyst.

[Anonymous]

I dont think it's insulting. Sounds like you want to goto NYC, she has a connection for a sweet place to stay , and thought it would be a good option. If you dont want to stay I think thats totally fine, but I dont see it as any sort of red flag or insult to your manhood or something. If youd rather pay $500/night for some sh!thole hotel instead of taking up the offer, well, that's your choice. Your gf may or may not be impressed with that.

[Anonymous]

Buy her some hot lingerie and bang her all over that $$$$$$ pied a terre. Use the money you saved on the hotel to have a few high end meals. Give her some new memories of that place.

This isn’t rocket science.

[Anonymous]

Tacky. Pay your own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes
Weird and insulting.

She’s not over that ex and she still feels connected to that ex.

Let the relationship go. Let this situation be the catalyst.

You’re reading waaaay too much into this. A free, nice place vs spending a ton of money. It’s not rocket science. She was just offering up a cost effective solution. Nothing more. Nothing less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

I don't know about that. We were watching a show where the SO was struggling financially, so I told her yesterday if she ever needed money she could always ask me. She said thank you but she would never ask me for money and that she’d rather work a second job than ask me for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was look at hotels in NYC for March, which I mentioned to my girlfriend. She mentioned that if I wanted she could ask this family friend to stay at their place in the NYC. Now, this family is truly a friend of her ex.

This family is very rich. They live in NOVA but also own a multi million dollar condo in NYC. Right between Times Square and Central Park to be exact. Apparently they keep the place fully stocked with top shelf everything and offer to make reservations and pay for really nice restaurants. I told her no because this is connected to her ex. She said she understood but they loved her, that she’s still close to the family, and didn’t really care for her ex because he was such a screw up but tolerated him because of their son.

She and her ex were together 5 years and they broke up less than a year ago.
Isn’t it kind of weird and insulting that she’d suggest asking to stay at their place knowing it’s a connection to the ex?

So people love being in close proximity to wealth. She definitely remembers the access to wealth with her ex. This is something you need to think about. How quickly will she leave if someone flashes that cash!

I don't know about that. We were watching a show where the SO was struggling financially, so I told her yesterday if she ever needed money she could always ask me. She said thank you but she would never ask me for money and that she’d rather work a second job than ask me for money.

LOL, were you born yesterday?

[Anonymous]

Go. Enjoy the experience.
You may be her next ex but a place like that is something to be experienced.
My then-BF and I went to NY for a wedding. A friend from college said oh stay at out place. It turned out to be The Dakota.
How they think of her is not your business.

[Anonymous]

No, she explained that the family likes her and not the ex. I would believe that. Just because the families are friends, doesn't mean everyone likes the black sheep. My family is friends with lots of other families. A few of the people I know from those circles are terrible people. Are you going to ding me because their mother is friends with my mother?

The question of staying in someone's place for free is an entirely separate one. I wouldn't be very comfortable accepting, just because I don't personally know these people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, she explained that the family likes her and not the ex. I would believe that. Just because the families are friends, doesn't mean everyone likes the black sheep. My family is friends with lots of other families. A few of the people I know from those circles are terrible people. Are you going to ding me because their mother is friends with my mother?

The question of staying in someone's place for free is an entirely separate one. I wouldn't be very comfortable accepting, just because I don't personally know these people.

+1

Plus, since they have multiple homes I’m sure they let plenty of people stay there all the time, so this would be very common for them. Wealthy people love showing off their homes to other people, even when they’re not there.

[Anonymous]

Imho tendency to freeload isn't a good characteristic. I would stay where I can afford instead of asking for favors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imho tendency to freeload isn't a good characteristic. I would stay where I can afford instead of asking for favors.

Rich people swap homes all the time, and do each other favors

[Anonymous]

When we stayed at the Dakota, I had never met the couple BF knew husband but had not seen him for 3 years. They were away, came back the last night of the 3. Lovely people. We sent a good hostess gift.