Do you find this coach’s behavior to be outrageous or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not have your husband trade them back?

Because we have no issue w the kids. And that is a nasty message to send that special needs kids aren’t wanted or welcome in a rec sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, he sounds like a jerk. But I cannot tell if he traded these two kids because they suck at the sport or if they have behavioral/communication challenges due to autism.

But at the end of the day, I would be glad the two kids with autism aren’t stuck with the total jerk for a coach. And hopefully, my husband could help support those two kids in the best way possible. So I would reframe this as “thank goodness these two kids ended up with a much better fit for a coach.”

I think the big win here is that the kids with autism are not going to be with a coach who is probably a d*ck.

That said, the whole point of rec is for kids to have fun playing in a low pressure environment, and for parents to enjoy and support that environment. There shouldn’t be trading at all outside of some really extreme circumstance.

It’s OPs husbands turn to coach these kids. OP seems pretty pissed about it.

He’s coached them before and it’s a non issue. Don’t project. I was mad before even knowing who the kids are. It’s just gross to try to control these things and make changes for your own preferences

You said he’s only coached 1 of the kids. You don’t seem to like these boys. Try to be welcoming at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t even be trading for friends. You got your list, that’s it. And what he did was despicable. Another failed athlete fantasizing about being a real coach.

Sooooo quick to judge aren't you misandrist one?
Pssst..these guys volunteer their time for these kids.
You?

NP, but my DH has coached various rec level teams for my kids and would never do this.

Another thing though is that coaches are sent the roster before parents so all this “trading” may have been done without the parents knowing. Often parents can request certain coaches/friends and the league will try to accommodate this if possible. But I have 3 kids and have never once hear of a coach getting rid of kids from the roster.

Yea, both teams have friend requests but I have never heard of changes after a roster went out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It may not be about winning/losing, but about having a good experience for the kids. It's more fun to be on a team with skilled players who want to be there and are focused/enthusiastic. If the coach has the privilege to request changes to give his own kid a better experience, that's kind of one of the perks of (volunteer!) coaching.

Is it?! Never heard of that benefit before and my husband has coached many teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t even be trading for friends. You got your list, that’s it. And what he did was despicable. Another failed athlete fantasizing about being a real coach.

Sooooo quick to judge aren't you misandrist one?
Pssst..these guys volunteer their time for these kids.
You?

NP, but my DH has coached various rec level teams for my kids and would never do this.

Another thing though is that coaches are sent the roster before parents so all this “trading” may have been done without the parents knowing. Often parents can request certain coaches/friends and the league will try to accommodate this if possible. But I have 3 kids and have never once hear of a coach getting rid of kids from the roster.

Yea, both teams have friend requests but I have never heard of changes after a roster went out.

You’re clearly new to team sports. I have requested my own kids change teams because we didn’t like the coach or my kid wanted to be with a friend on another team or a team had more convenient practices for our schedule. Only in your mind are these teams etched in stone where no further changes shall be made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t even be trading for friends. You got your list, that’s it. And what he did was despicable. Another failed athlete fantasizing about being a real coach.

Sooooo quick to judge aren't you misandrist one?
Pssst..these guys volunteer their time for these kids.
You?

NP, but my DH has coached various rec level teams for my kids and would never do this.

Another thing though is that coaches are sent the roster before parents so all this “trading” may have been done without the parents knowing. Often parents can request certain coaches/friends and the league will try to accommodate this if possible. But I have 3 kids and have never once hear of a coach getting rid of kids from the roster.

Yea, both teams have friend requests but I have never heard of changes after a roster went out.

You’re clearly new to team sports. I have requested my own kids change teams because we didn’t like the coach or my kid wanted to be with a friend on another team or a team had more convenient practices for our schedule. Only in your mind are these teams etched in stone where no further changes shall be made.

In 3rd grade? we haven’t experienced that before

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t even be trading for friends. You got your list, that’s it. And what he did was despicable. Another failed athlete fantasizing about being a real coach.

Sooooo quick to judge aren't you misandrist one?
Pssst..these guys volunteer their time for these kids.
You?

NP, but my DH has coached various rec level teams for my kids and would never do this.

Another thing though is that coaches are sent the roster before parents so all this “trading” may have been done without the parents knowing. Often parents can request certain coaches/friends and the league will try to accommodate this if possible. But I have 3 kids and have never once hear of a coach getting rid of kids from the roster.

Yea, both teams have friend requests but I have never heard of changes after a roster went out.

You’re clearly new to team sports. I have requested my own kids change teams because we didn’t like the coach or my kid wanted to be with a friend on another team or a team had more convenient practices for our schedule. Only in your mind are these teams etched in stone where no further changes shall be made.

In 3rd grade? we haven’t experienced that before

Yes. Of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, he sounds like a jerk. But I cannot tell if he traded these two kids because they suck at the sport or if they have behavioral/communication challenges due to autism.

But at the end of the day, I would be glad the two kids with autism aren’t stuck with the total jerk for a coach. And hopefully, my husband could help support those two kids in the best way possible. So I would reframe this as “thank goodness these two kids ended up with a much better fit for a coach.”

I think the big win here is that the kids with autism are not going to be with a coach who is probably a d*ck.

That said, the whole point of rec is for kids to have fun playing in a low pressure environment, and for parents to enjoy and support that environment. There shouldn’t be trading at all outside of some really extreme circumstance.

It’s OPs husbands turn to coach these kids. OP seems pretty pissed about it.

He’s coached them before and it’s a non issue. Don’t project. I was mad before even knowing who the kids are. It’s just gross to try to control these things and make changes for your own preferences

You said he’s only coached 1 of the kids. You don’t seem to like these boys. Try to be welcoming at least.

Nothing I said points to not liking the kids. I don’t like this dad who gets involved like this and constantly calls people trying to get his kid on this team or that with no relationship w the other families.

[Anonymous]

OP does your husband (the one who is actually doing the coaching) know how emotionally invested you are in this complete non-issue? Would he be embarrassed if he knew about you posting this here?

I think you might just need to get a life. Honestly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, he sounds like a jerk. But I cannot tell if he traded these two kids because they suck at the sport or if they have behavioral/communication challenges due to autism.

But at the end of the day, I would be glad the two kids with autism aren’t stuck with the total jerk for a coach. And hopefully, my husband could help support those two kids in the best way possible. So I would reframe this as “thank goodness these two kids ended up with a much better fit for a coach.”

I think the big win here is that the kids with autism are not going to be with a coach who is probably a d*ck.

That said, the whole point of rec is for kids to have fun playing in a low pressure environment, and for parents to enjoy and support that environment. There shouldn’t be trading at all outside of some really extreme circumstance.

It’s OPs husbands turn to coach these kids. OP seems pretty pissed about it.

He’s coached them before and it’s a non issue. Don’t project. I was mad before even knowing who the kids are. It’s just gross to try to control these things and make changes for your own preferences

You said he’s only coached 1 of the kids. You don’t seem to like these boys. Try to be welcoming at least.

Nothing I said points to not liking the kids. I don’t like this dad who gets involved like this and constantly calls people trying to get his kid on this team or that with no relationship w the other families.

Are you the coach? Or your husband? You seem way too involved in this rec basketball league for a bystander.

[Anonymous]

Terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t even be trading for friends. You got your list, that’s it. And what he did was despicable. Another failed athlete fantasizing about being a real coach.

Sooooo quick to judge aren't you misandrist one?
Pssst..these guys volunteer their time for these kids.
You?

God, how embarrassing for you. Grow a pair, you whiny loser.

As a man, I never fail to be embarrassed by any man who uses any form of the word “misandry.” My grandfather went to WWII, came home, and did his job and raised his family without ever complaining about anything. Same thing for my dad with Viet Nam. Now men are delicate hothouse flowers who shriek about being oppressed whenever they aren’t sufficiently coddled. Man up, chump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They shouldn’t even be trading for friends. You got your list, that’s it. And what he did was despicable. Another failed athlete fantasizing about being a real coach.

Sooooo quick to judge aren't you misandrist one?
Pssst..these guys volunteer their time for these kids.
You?

God, how embarrassing for you. Grow a pair, you whiny loser.

As a man, I never fail to be embarrassed by any man who uses any form of the word “misandry.” My grandfather went to WWII, came home, and did his job and raised his family without ever complaining about anything. Same thing for my dad with Viet Nam. Now men are delicate hothouse flowers who shriek about being oppressed whenever they aren’t sufficiently coddled. Man up, chump.

DP but good for your Dad and Grandpa. What exactly have *you* ever done, besides declare your manliness on an anonymous mommy message board?

[Anonymous]

I think specifically asking and getting rid of the two special needs kids and trading them for "better" players is disgusting.

[Anonymous]

OP, you're sure the coach that asked to switch players knew the kids are autistic?

Just think how sweet it will be though when DH team beats his team.