Team Dynamics

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a team manager and I have to remind parents not to criticize other players infront of their own kids. When that happens, the kids become critical of each other. It's a terrible habit.

It most certainly all stems from poor parenting behaviors. I have to ensure we have enough social activities for all the kids, so they don't form cliques.

But the parents are way too invested in it these days. It's a far cry from the 80's when all parents just dropped off the kids at practice, they never stayed and only came to the games. I think my own dad only ever watched 2 games my whole life! I had a ton of fun playing soccer as my own parents never got into my business or put pressure on me. I enjoyed it so much, I still play for fun as an adult. That would be the best outcome for most children.

yea buuuuuut its a team sport. No issues opening my DCs eyes to crappy teammates or just a team thats not good. Time is of the essence. Some teams are happy cutting their noses off to spite their faces. Mostly by parents joysticking… so we not only trash the players but let DC know who is sideline coaching.

Because i want DC to make their minds up w all the facts come tryouts……..

Also shoutout to the coaches that bring in inferior talent that they prefer over existing talent for a losing season.


You also rock!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a team manager and I have to remind parents not to criticize other players infront of their own kids. When that happens, the kids become critical of each other. It's a terrible habit.

It most certainly all stems from poor parenting behaviors. I have to ensure we have enough social activities for all the kids, so they don't form cliques.

But the parents are way too invested in it these days. It's a far cry from the 80's when all parents just dropped off the kids at practice, they never stayed and only came to the games. I think my own dad only ever watched 2 games my whole life! I had a ton of fun playing soccer as my own parents never got into my business or put pressure on me. I enjoyed it so much, I still play for fun as an adult. That would be the best outcome for most children.

yea buuuuuut its a team sport. No issues opening my DCs eyes to crappy teammates or just a team thats not good. Time is of the essence. Some teams are happy cutting their noses off to spite their faces. Mostly by parents joysticking… so we not only trash the players but let DC know who is sideline coaching.

Because i want DC to make their minds up w all the facts come tryouts……..

Also shoutout to the coaches that bring in inferior talent that they prefer over existing talent for a losing season.


You also rock!!!!!!!!

Its a crazy world sometimes, but I like your passion!

[Anonymous]

Like Elon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like Elon?

Good college. We have people we know who's daughter is a student there. She really enjoys it.

If you are referring to Elon Musk, the political boards are in another section. Try to keep that trash out of the soccer section. And before you start calling me a Trump supporter, I voted for Jill Stein (not that it's any of your GD business. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like Elon?

Good college. We have people we know who's daughter is a student there. She really enjoys it.

If you are referring to Elon Musk, the political boards are in another section. Try to keep that trash out of the soccer section. And before you start calling me a Trump supporter, I voted for Jill Stein (not that it's any of your GD business. )

Thinking that's a flex is comical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like Elon?

Good college. We have people we know who's daughter is a student there. She really enjoys it.

If you are referring to Elon Musk, the political boards are in another section. Try to keep that trash out of the soccer section. And before you start calling me a Trump supporter, I voted for Jill Stein (not that it's any of your GD business. )

Thinking that's a flex is comical.

No flex. You're an imbecile.

[Anonymous]

The worst are the parents on DS’s HS varsity team. I was shocked sitting in the stands. Maybe it’s because the coach is nasty and critical and has turned players against each other which leads parents to see everyone as a threat to their own child. I’ve even heard some mean comments about my DS but I have only cheered positively for others. I decided to stop going to games as a result.

We’ve had the opposite experience on pretty much every travel team and he’s played on a variety from low-level to high. Currently his teammates are in the recruitment phase so this should be when the claws come out but I haven’t seen it. The parents are all complimentary of other players and the kids support one another. It’s been nice.

The funny thing is when I remind my player that the whole point is to have fun, he rolls his eyes and tells me that I’m not competitive enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like Elon?

Good college. We have people we know who's daughter is a student there. She really enjoys it.

If you are referring to Elon Musk, the political boards are in another section. Try to keep that trash out of the soccer section. And before you start calling me a Trump supporter, I voted for Jill Stein (not that it's any of your GD business. )

Thinking that's a flex is comical.

No flex. You're an imbecile.

No other reason to tell us who you voted for acting like that choice was better than the rapist felon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like Elon?

Good college. We have people we know who's daughter is a student there. She really enjoys it.

If you are referring to Elon Musk, the political boards are in another section. Try to keep that trash out of the soccer section. And before you start calling me a Trump supporter, I voted for Jill Stein (not that it's any of your GD business. )

Thinking that's a flex is comical.

No flex. You're an imbecile.

No other reason to tell us who you voted for acting like that choice was better than the rapist felon.

Meh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a team manager and I have to remind parents not to criticize other players infront of their own kids. When that happens, the kids become critical of each other. It's a terrible habit.

It most certainly all stems from poor parenting behaviors. I have to ensure we have enough social activities for all the kids, so they don't form cliques.

But the parents are way too invested in it these days. It's a far cry from the 80's when all parents just dropped off the kids at practice, they never stayed and only came to the games. I think my own dad only ever watched 2 games my whole life! I had a ton of fun playing soccer as my own parents never got into my business or put pressure on me. I enjoyed it so much, I still play for fun as an adult. That would be the best outcome for most children.

yea buuuuuut its a team sport. No issues opening my DCs eyes to crappy teammates or just a team thats not good. Time is of the essence. Some teams are happy cutting their noses off to spite their faces. Mostly by parents joysticking… so we not only trash the players but let DC know who is sideline coaching.

Because i want DC to make their minds up w all the facts come tryouts……..

Also shoutout to the coaches that bring in inferior talent that they prefer over existing talent for a losing season.


You also rock!!!!!!!!

Its a crazy world sometimes, but I like your passion!

*chef’s kiss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree! Everyone has lost sight of why we signed our kids up for a team sport in the first place. Fun, teamwork and self-confidence...

Now it seems like we're spending a lot of time/money to put them in a cut-throat environment that is a negative to their mental health and self-confidence.

OP- this is exactly it. I feel that my DC is playing well, playing at the highest level available, but...is losing self-worth, confidence, and I see the shut down mentally and emotionally because of favoritism and biased BS that should not be like this. I want my kid to be a team player, learn from coaches, receive constructive criticism and learn how to overcome challenges, because we all know life is not fair. But this is exhausting. They have the rest of their lives to work and be in a cut throat environment where everyone is out for themselves. I hate that it has come to this before it needs too.

Six years into this, I initially didn't have throwing them in a pit of vipers year-round in the cards either but here we are. Just trying make the best of and hoping for the best.

9 years for me. Agree, didn't think back then this is what I'd see in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree! Everyone has lost sight of why we signed our kids up for a team sport in the first place. Fun, teamwork and self-confidence...

Now it seems like we're spending a lot of time/money to put them in a cut-throat environment that is a negative to their mental health and self-confidence.

OP- this is exactly it. I feel that my DC is playing well, playing at the highest level available, but...is losing self-worth, confidence, and I see the shut down mentally and emotionally because of favoritism and biased BS that should not be like this. I want my kid to be a team player, learn from coaches, receive constructive criticism and learn how to overcome challenges, because we all know life is not fair. But this is exhausting. They have the rest of their lives to work and be in a cut throat environment where everyone is out for themselves. I hate that it has come to this before it needs too.

Six years into this, I initially didn't have throwing them in a pit of vipers year-round in the cards either but here we are. Just trying make the best of and hoping for the best.

9 years for me. Agree, didn't think back then this is what I'd see in the future.

I’ve heard this more than a few times before. What are some of the more common things you see in these cutthroat environments?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a team manager and I have to remind parents not to criticize other players infront of their own kids. When that happens, the kids become critical of each other. It's a terrible habit.

It most certainly all stems from poor parenting behaviors. I have to ensure we have enough social activities for all the kids, so they don't form cliques.

But the parents are way too invested in it these days. It's a far cry from the 80's when all parents just dropped off the kids at practice, they never stayed and only came to the games. I think my own dad only ever watched 2 games my whole life! I had a ton of fun playing soccer as my own parents never got into my business or put pressure on me. I enjoyed it so much, I still play for fun as an adult. That would be the best outcome for most children.

Wait... I know we all helicopter. But do you mean that all your parents are watching every practice and/or criticizing their kids during it??? That's beyond even for 2024.

We all don't helicopter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a team manager and I have to remind parents not to criticize other players infront of their own kids. When that happens, the kids become critical of each other. It's a terrible habit.

It most certainly all stems from poor parenting behaviors. I have to ensure we have enough social activities for all the kids, so they don't form cliques.

But the parents are way too invested in it these days. It's a far cry from the 80's when all parents just dropped off the kids at practice, they never stayed and only came to the games. I think my own dad only ever watched 2 games my whole life! I had a ton of fun playing soccer as my own parents never got into my business or put pressure on me. I enjoyed it so much, I still play for fun as an adult. That would be the best outcome for most children.

Wait... I know we all helicopter. But do you mean that all your parents are watching every practice and/or criticizing their kids during it??? That's beyond even for 2024.

From U9-U11, a lot of parents do stay and watch and are verbally critical, its a sh$t show. In recognition, the coach has said practice is a good time to go run errands for parent and sideline coaching will not be tolerated. But still, some parents do quietly criticize other players to their own kids. Kids will say it on the field at practice to other kids. It's a bad look. One other player told my kid this: "My dad said I shouldn't play like you because of X Y and Z." The amusing thing was, that family who gossiped and criticized quit travel the next year!

--Overly involved parents can often be the source of poor team dynamics. The OP brings up a good point. If you haven't shared the sideline project with your team and you think it could help, feel free to share this: https://thesidelineproject.com/take-pledge/#/

I watch every practice because I love watching my child grow. Are you the parent that dumps the kid off to play on the internet in the car for 90 minutes?

How are you watching your child grow by hovering over them and them having no independence or autonomy to perform and learn without your shadow looming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a team manager and I have to remind parents not to criticize other players infront of their own kids. When that happens, the kids become critical of each other. It's a terrible habit.

It most certainly all stems from poor parenting behaviors. I have to ensure we have enough social activities for all the kids, so they don't form cliques.

But the parents are way too invested in it these days. It's a far cry from the 80's when all parents just dropped off the kids at practice, they never stayed and only came to the games. I think my own dad only ever watched 2 games my whole life! I had a ton of fun playing soccer as my own parents never got into my business or put pressure on me. I enjoyed it so much, I still play for fun as an adult. That would be the best outcome for most children.

yea buuuuuut its a team sport. No issues opening my DCs eyes to crappy teammates or just a team thats not good. Time is of the essence. Some teams are happy cutting their noses off to spite their faces. Mostly by parents joysticking… so we not only trash the players but let DC know who is sideline coaching.

Because i want DC to make their minds up w all the facts come tryouts……..

Also shoutout to the coaches that bring in inferior talent that they prefer over existing talent for a losing season.


You also rock!!!!!!!!

You don’t think the kids themselves don’t already know?