Walls Counselor sharing students' college apps

[Anonymous]

While there is something wrong about that culture ("I'm not sharing, so you can't get ideas & compete"), it's not the counselor's call to decide otherwise and share such personal information. They can speak in general to where others apply ED, whatever, but not with names attached. And they sure should help foster a sense of mutual trust and "we're in this together" values. But before you accuse anyone, also consider the possibility that this information was shared among students, and someone simply blamed the counselor.

FWIW, on the substance: I do think all students will be better off if we help them see how everyone can benefit from a culture of information sharing in schools. And we parents can have those conversations, in general, at home to support them in getting to that point. Then again, I also appreciate oversharing turning into some pressure fest. Very difficult all of this, takes a lot of finesse on the part of the counselor. And while I appreciate the idea of a counselor getting to know their students as they approach that point in time over the course of 4 years, maybe that (Walls) model is just no longer the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter and friends are super private about this (also seniors but not at Walls) and I kind of wonder why. It's not like someone is going to switch their ED choice TO a school because a friend/classmate is also applying there. They may switch their ED choice FROM a school if they like another school just as much (which is a good thing!).

There are a lot of reasons why a student might not want this information public- for example, they may not want anyone to know where they are applying in general so that they don’t need to reveal if/when they get rejected from somewhere.

+1

If you share your ED school and you don’t go to that school everyone knows you didn’t get in.

I wish we could normalize that not everyone is going to get into their ED school and it will still be okay and likely even great. Might help to take some of the pressure off. And yes, I went through this last year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure it's a violation of privacy and a sign of how things have changed(or parenting has changed). I attended a magnet high school and we were super supportive of each other and pushed hard for the top schools. My kid is a junior at Walls and not sure she would care much.

You're one of those annoying and self-righteous parents of younger children who knows not of what you speak. Come back this time next year and tell me the same thing...

I guess you missed the part about the kid being a junior at Walls.....It's parents like you that give kids anxiety and make them have breakdowns.

I didn't miss the point. That was my point. Your kid is not in the same place that seniors are. You truly have no idea what this looks like for them. Maybe you'll have a little empathy next year instead of resorting to parent shaming, but then again, probably not...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While there is something wrong about that culture ("I'm not sharing, so you can't get ideas & compete"), it's not the counselor's call to decide otherwise and share such personal information. They can speak in general to where others apply ED, whatever, but not with names attached. And they sure should help foster a sense of mutual trust and "we're in this together" values. But before you accuse anyone, also consider the possibility that this information was shared among students, and someone simply blamed the counselor.

FWIW, on the substance: I do think all students will be better off if we help them see how everyone can benefit from a culture of information sharing in schools. And we parents can have those conversations, in general, at home to support them in getting to that point. Then again, I also appreciate oversharing turning into some pressure fest. Very difficult all of this, takes a lot of finesse on the part of the counselor. And while I appreciate the idea of a counselor getting to know their students as they approach that point in time over the course of 4 years, maybe that (Walls) model is just no longer the best.

Just to make a point on one thing- it’s hard to foster a ‘we’re all in this together’ when they are quite literally each other’s competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter and friends are super private about this (also seniors but not at Walls) and I kind of wonder why. It's not like someone is going to switch their ED choice TO a school because a friend/classmate is also applying there. They may switch their ED choice FROM a school if they like another school just as much (which is a good thing!).

There are a lot of reasons why a student might not want this information public- for example, they may not want anyone to know where they are applying in general so that they don’t need to reveal if/when they get rejected from somewhere.

+1

If you share your ED school and you don’t go to that school everyone knows you didn’t get in.

I wish we could normalize that not everyone is going to get into their ED school and it will still be okay and likely even great. Might help to take some of the pressure off. And yes, I went through this last year.

I don’t disagree with this…but I also think we need to normalize keeping things private. This generation seems to feel like they need to share everything all the time; having them understand that it is sometimes okay not to share personal information would be a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure it's a violation of privacy and a sign of how things have changed(or parenting has changed). I attended a magnet high school and we were super supportive of each other and pushed hard for the top schools. My kid is a junior at Walls and not sure she would care much.

You're one of those annoying and self-righteous parents of younger children who knows not of what you speak. Come back this time next year and tell me the same thing...

I guess you missed the part about the kid being a junior at Walls.....It's parents like you that give kids anxiety and make them have breakdowns.

Gross. Let me guess:

- you proudly bragged about being a "breast is best" parent when you were pregnant and slammed the parents you knew who formula fed their already-born kids
- you told the mom of the toddler having a tantrum in the grocery store that if they just laid off the sugar then their kid would be as well-behaved as your little 6 month old
- you told the parent of the middle school kid who was cutting that if they just didn't travel for work then their kid would be as happy as your well-adjusted 5th grader
- you told the parent of the stressed out senior that if they just cared a little less about appropriate privacy expectations from their college counselor then their kid would be as carefree as your junior (oh wait, don't have to guess there, just read upthread).

Good on you. Isn't your kid lucky to have such a self-righteous parent who would never ever give them anxiety or make them have a breakdown?!?!

Good grief. Someone's got baggage.

[Anonymous]

Seems like PP was correct....what a shame...

[Anonymous]

Once Walls removed the test - you opened the doors for kids who strength was executive functioning / parent support.
The dynamic and student body at Walls has changed and the parent engagement is a part of this.
I have a kid at Walls and another DCPS high school and there is a reason you only see posts on DCUM from Walls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once Walls removed the test - you opened the doors for kids who strength was executive functioning / parent support.
The dynamic and student body at Walls has changed and the parent engagement is a part of this.
I have a kid at Walls and another DCPS high school and there is a reason you only see posts on DCUM from Walls

Walls has always had strong parental support and the student body is pretty much the same. By your logic, the "test" was a mask for poor parental involvement and lack of exec functioning. That certainly wasn't the case. The HSA is paying for a lot of extras and has for a while.

[Anonymous]

The competition with classmates is real and is not the students' fault. But a students' preference for privacy doesn't have to be about that.

The process is stressful and involves a long period of waiting. Kids shouldn't have to be forced into conversation about it, particularly with classmates that didn't choose to share their situation with. It's like the election; people should have the right not to talk about it at work, for example, if they don't want to.

And they shouldn't have to share their efforts that end in failure if they don't want to. Yes, of course, they should be okay if they 'fail.' But they have the right not to go throught the disappointment on a pubic stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once Walls removed the test - you opened the doors for kids who strength was executive functioning / parent support.
The dynamic and student body at Walls has changed and the parent engagement is a part of this.
I have a kid at Walls and another DCPS high school and there is a reason you only see posts on DCUM from Walls

It's weird that this devolved into a critique of parenting when a number of responses said that the counselor's actions were at best unethical and likely illegal. That has nothing to do with the student body at Walls or their parents. Maybe unethical / illegal behavior is more accepted at your other kid's school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:While there is something wrong about that culture ("I'm not sharing, so you can't get ideas & compete"), it's not the counselor's call to decide otherwise and share such personal information. They can speak in general to where others apply ED, whatever, but not with names attached. And they sure should help foster a sense of mutual trust and "we're in this together" values. But before you accuse anyone, also consider the possibility that this information was shared among students, and someone simply blamed the counselor.

FWIW, on the substance: I do think all students will be better off if we help them see how everyone can benefit from a culture of information sharing in schools. And we parents can have those conversations, in general, at home to support them in getting to that point. Then again, I also appreciate oversharing turning into some pressure fest. Very difficult all of this, takes a lot of finesse on the part of the counselor. And while I appreciate the idea of a counselor getting to know their students as they approach that point in time over the course of 4 years, maybe that (Walls) model is just no longer the best.

Except that we know this "possibility" to be untrue. My senior at Walls saw the list, with students' names, of where people were applying early, hanging on the counselor's office wall in full view of anyone who walked in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once Walls removed the test - you opened the doors for kids who strength was executive functioning / parent support.
The dynamic and student body at Walls has changed and the parent engagement is a part of this.
I have a kid at Walls and another DCPS high school and there is a reason you only see posts on DCUM from Walls

It's weird that this devolved into a critique of parenting when a number of responses said that the counselor's actions were at best unethical and likely illegal. That has nothing to do with the student body at Walls or their parents. Maybe unethical / illegal behavior is more accepted at your other kid's school?

Not weird on DCUM. Every discussion of Walls ends up with a critique of how the application process works, an insult to the current students or their families, and/or a comparison to BASIS in which Walls (by whatever measure) falls short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While there is something wrong about that culture ("I'm not sharing, so you can't get ideas & compete"), it's not the counselor's call to decide otherwise and share such personal information. They can speak in general to where others apply ED, whatever, but not with names attached. And they sure should help foster a sense of mutual trust and "we're in this together" values. But before you accuse anyone, also consider the possibility that this information was shared among students, and someone simply blamed the counselor.

FWIW, on the substance: I do think all students will be better off if we help them see how everyone can benefit from a culture of information sharing in schools. And we parents can have those conversations, in general, at home to support them in getting to that point. Then again, I also appreciate oversharing turning into some pressure fest. Very difficult all of this, takes a lot of finesse on the part of the counselor. And while I appreciate the idea of a counselor getting to know their students as they approach that point in time over the course of 4 years, maybe that (Walls) model is just no longer the best.

Except that we know this "possibility" to be untrue. My senior at Walls saw the list, with students' names, of where people were applying early, hanging on the counselor's office wall in full view of anyone who walked in.

Did you contact administration?