Parents of high performers

[Anonymous]

A lot of people brag about their children, whether the children are amazing or pretty average. OP doesn't seem that out of line to me.

Mentioning test scores is always tacky. Just don't do it. Even if people directly ask, giving a number is gauche. Initiating a conversation about your child's accomplishments or giving a long spiel is also tacky. It's okay to answer questions or give more info when someone seems genuinely interested.

If you really need to get the bragging out of your system, brag to the kid's grandparents, childless aunts/uncles, or any other relative who would love to hear about how awesome your child is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't have a truly high performing child, or you have the EQ of a 12 year old.

Having a child with a major gift and performance is a big parenting job. And it isn't a bomb to drop at a water cooler about their CV. If your child wins nationals at figure skating, you will have mentioned your commitment to the sport and theirs for a long time. And when it comes you will not feel like that is the thing to talk about. If your child is a prodigy, you will be living a different life.

I have a child who is a true prodigy (doing calculus at 7) but also has a major number of medical and mental health issues. I don't feel the need to talk about this with many of my friends and have had to seek out communities of parents who I can talk to about the unique challenges, and have had to work with people to learn the best ways to support an unusual child, on both sides. I also know people whose children are extraordinary in different ways, but their resumé is not a conversation topic. They are balancing travel, multiple people to work with outside of the usual, long days, keeping their kids supported and loved and living normal fun kids lives, and also parenting other children. They live, day to day, like the rest of us.

Please, find something else to do. Get off this board. If your child truly falls into this category, you have lots of work to do, and if they don't, stop imagining what it would be like if they did. I couldn't start to explain how colossally unfair it is to any child to hope they are something else, let alone something no child ever is.
It takes all kinds in the world, and mostly we all need to be good, competent, empathetic human beings. Grow up, and be a parent to your child who needs you.

It is not very kind to say "You clearly don't have a truly high performing child, or you have the EQ of a 12 year old." But anway, to OP, I can see what you said. Join groups on social medias. Facebook has many groups for parents of gifted kids where you can safely ask/talk/brag about your kids's performance and parents who have similar kids will totally understand.

OP's mentioned loneliness many times. If OP's actual problem is feeling lonely and not understood then social media (and DCUM!) will only make it worse. Social media provides the illusion of connection while making us lonelier. The answer is to learn how to do the hard, messy work of dealing with actual human beings. Get to know them well. Then you can talk on a deep level and be seen and known as a person (including a parent of a high achieving kid).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't have a truly high performing child, or you have the EQ of a 12 year old.

Having a child with a major gift and performance is a big parenting job. And it isn't a bomb to drop at a water cooler about their CV. If your child wins nationals at figure skating, you will have mentioned your commitment to the sport and theirs for a long time. And when it comes you will not feel like that is the thing to talk about. If your child is a prodigy, you will be living a different life.

I have a child who is a true prodigy (doing calculus at 7) but also has a major number of medical and mental health issues. I don't feel the need to talk about this with many of my friends and have had to seek out communities of parents who I can talk to about the unique challenges, and have had to work with people to learn the best ways to support an unusual child, on both sides. I also know people whose children are extraordinary in different ways, but their resumé is not a conversation topic. They are balancing travel, multiple people to work with outside of the usual, long days, keeping their kids supported and loved and living normal fun kids lives, and also parenting other children. They live, day to day, like the rest of us.

Please, find something else to do. Get off this board. If your child truly falls into this category, you have lots of work to do, and if they don't, stop imagining what it would be like if they did. I couldn't start to explain how colossally unfair it is to any child to hope they are something else, let alone something no child ever is.
It takes all kinds in the world, and mostly we all need to be good, competent, empathetic human beings. Grow up, and be a parent to your child who needs you.

It is not very kind to say "You clearly don't have a truly high performing child, or you have the EQ of a 12 year old." But anway, to OP, I can see what you said. Join groups on social medias. Facebook has many groups for parents of gifted kids where you can safely ask/talk/brag about your kids's performance and parents who have similar kids will totally understand.

OP's mentioned loneliness many times. If OP's actual problem is feeling lonely and not understood then social media (and DCUM!) will only make it worse. Social media provides the illusion of connection while making us lonelier. The answer is to learn how to do the hard, messy work of dealing with actual human beings. Get to know them well. Then you can talk on a deep level and be seen and known as a person (including a parent of a high achieving kid).

Bingo. If you have true friends, they'll listen and support you. You brought up figure skating; a parent of a nationally ranked figure skater makes a lot of sacrifices, like waking up at 4 am most days. It's nice to have someone to commiserate who won't resent you for your child's achievements. Posting on social media isn't where you will find your support, though.