S/O "I'm in love with you"

[Anonymous]

DP. I do think that "I'm in love with you" has a subtext of call to action (or as an explanation of action). As in, "I'm going to move mountains so that we can be together because I'm in love with you."

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

My thought exactly. OP, this is a disaster in the making.

He will say it to keep the sex coming. It’s basically role play for a married guy.

Or he’s in love with this woman and not his wife. There’s no way to tell based on what is posted.

Yeah, but she did say he can't get out of the situation and she is waiting and hoping it will work out. Classic guy leading a woman on to get sex.

Ask me how I know? (Sorry, couldn't resist given the other thread!) But this is true in my case.

99.9% of the time that’s what it is. Even happy men cheat. They compartmentalize. They aren’t going to procreate and spend 30+ years with a woman they don’t love. They are different than women in that aspect.

There's no sex going on.

So wrong. Most still have sex at home. Just like the phony Ilys—they lie about having no sex life at home too.

Um, ok, but he and I aren't having sex with each other and neither one of us is having sex with anyone else. You do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP. I do think that "I'm in love with you" has a subtext of call to action (or as an explanation of action). As in, "I'm going to move mountains so that we can be together because I'm in love with you."

Yeah, thanks, that's kind of what I was thinking too. I think under the circumstances though I better not say it. I'll just leave it at ILY.

[Anonymous]

OP here- I was thinking today that probably the purpose of me being in his life at this time is not to make me happy and to get what I want but for me to support him in whatever way I can through what he is going through. I think I'm going to try to stop thinking about my feelings and focus on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I was thinking today that probably the purpose of me being in his life at this time is not to make me happy and to get what I want but for me to support him in whatever way I can through what he is going through. I think I'm going to try to stop thinking about my feelings and focus on that.

Sounds like a bad recipe for disaster.

A healthy relationship may have periods where you put your needs aside for someone else but you guys are not in that situation. For you to deny your needs and center his seems not great for you. No way a healthy relationship can come out of that kind of self-denial in the early stages.

It’s ok to have boundaries and step back if your needs are not being met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I was thinking today that probably the purpose of me being in his life at this time is not to make me happy and to get what I want but for me to support him in whatever way I can through what he is going through. I think I'm going to try to stop thinking about my feelings and focus on that.

Don’t give more than you can freely give without ever getting anything in return. It’s normal for someone going through something tough to seek reassurance that life still moves on. You may well be serving that role in his life. Whether you will have that after is completely different. I love you for him may be more like I appreciate you — not that he would similarly sacrifice to give you support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I was thinking today that probably the purpose of me being in his life at this time is not to make me happy and to get what I want but for me to support him in whatever way I can through what he is going through. I think I'm going to try to stop thinking about my feelings and focus on that.

Don’t give more than you can freely give without ever getting anything in return. It’s normal for someone going through something tough to seek reassurance that life still moves on. You may well be serving that role in his life. Whether you will have that after is completely different. I love you for him may be more like I appreciate you — not that he would similarly sacrifice to give you support.

Thanks but he has given me lots of support in many ways. He meets many of my emotional needs and is there for me when I need someone, moreso than anyone else in my life. Whether we have a future together is very unknown right now and I'm trying to just live in the moment rather than worry about that too much. I believe he loves me but sometimes finds it confusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

My thought exactly. OP, this is a disaster in the making.

He will say it to keep the sex coming. It’s basically role play for a married guy.

This was a very hard lesson to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

My thought exactly. OP, this is a disaster in the making.

He will say it to keep the sex coming. It’s basically role play for a married guy.

This was a very hard lesson to learn.

I will grant you that but as I said, there's no sex involved at this point.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, it's just OP not understanding English grammar.

"I'm in love with you" is not mutual just because of the "with".

Its a flowery version of "I love you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, it's just OP not understanding English grammar.

"I'm in love with you" is not mutual just because of the "with".

Its a flowery version of "I love you."

Well aren't you being kind of bltchy today! Is anyone actually in love with you?

[Anonymous]

He's in love with your body...

...parts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, it's just OP not understanding English grammar.

"I'm in love with you" is not mutual just because of the "with".

Its a flowery version of "I love you."

Well aren't you being kind of bltchy today! Is anyone actually in love with you?

It's not a mutual feeling, so I don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, it's just OP not understanding English grammar.

"I'm in love with you" is not mutual just because of the "with".

Its a flowery version of "I love you."

Well aren't you being kind of bltchy today! Is anyone actually in love with you?

It's not a mutual feeling, so I don't know.

Try being nicer and maybe they'll tell you.