S/O "I'm in love with you"

[Anonymous]

Spin off from another post but I actually was thinking about this before I read that thread.

If someone says "I'm in love with you" is it just a statement of their feelings or does such a thing actually have to be mutual to exist?

Being in love "with" someone sounds like it has to be something you both feel and participate in.

It's common to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with them. What's the difference, when it's a romantic relationship?

I struggle with this because I am in a relationship with a man and we both say I love you at least everyday if not multiple times a day. I feel like I am "in love" with him but I'm not sure he would say he feels the same way if I told him. I'm very hesitant to tell him that and don't even know what he might assume it means as opposed to just "I love you". Does it really mean something new or something more has to happen now?

[Anonymous]

I really think this is person dependent. If you each are saying it multiple times per day, he must love you.

Do you doubt he loves you in the way that you need him to love you?

For you to ask the question makes me think you feel in a lesser position of power in this relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think this is person dependent. If you each are saying it multiple times per day, he must love you.

Do you doubt he loves you in the way that you need him to love you?

For you to ask the question makes me think you feel in a lesser position of power in this relationship.

I do because he is in circumstances that prevent him from taking much action to step up the relationship whereas I am not. But I love him so much I'm willing to wait and see what happens. I don't want to say something that will cause conflict for him however so I just stick with I love you. Not going into detail because it could be self and him identifying.

[Anonymous]

I will offer my perspective as a man and I certainly do not speak for all men. If a woman tells she loves us there is no difference between her saying "I love you" vs "I am in love with you". We men don't analyze expressions of love the way woman do. We show love more through actions even if we don't tell you that we love you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

My thought exactly. OP, this is a disaster in the making.

[Anonymous]

Saying "I love you" so many times a day, makes it more like "What's up?", just a polite expression, with not much meaning.

Say it once or twice a year and rest of the time, demonstrate it through actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will offer my perspective as a man and I certainly do not speak for all men. If a woman tells she loves us there is no difference between her saying "I love you" vs "I am in love with you". We men don't analyze expressions of love the way woman do. We show love more through actions even if we don't tell you that we love you.

Thanks for that, interesting. Going by actions I'm feeling very secure in his love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

It's way more complicated than that but I'm not going into details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

Good catch!

[Anonymous]

Ok imagine a Terri Schiavo situation. Her husband was married too.

[Anonymous]

You are overanalyzing this to a bizarre extent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

It's way more complicated than that but I'm not going into details.

Way more complicated that that? FFS, we are going to really want the details now.

[Anonymous]

When I say I love you to my kids it is different than saying it to my boyfriend.

But when I say I love you to my boyfriend vs when I say I’m in love with him, the latter means I’m feeling particularly smitten and romantic. Whereas a general I love you is more familial. In my head that’s the difference but this is not true for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he's married.

My thought exactly. OP, this is a disaster in the making.

He will say it to keep the sex coming. It’s basically role play for a married guy.