16 DS wants to try alcohol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish that instead of crowd sourcing whether or not you should give your 16 year olds sips of alcohol at home, you’d act like an actual parent and stop normalizing your 16 year old going to parties where other parents serve alcohol. JFC!

+1 sounds like the kid is going to go wild in college and binge drink. He’s already starting with parties in high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. He's probably already drinking at the parties.

2. He's ationalizing how much he can drink before it's a problem for him - if you have any sort of substance abuse problem in your family history thisshould be a big red flag for you.

3. While you can't totally control him you really should have a chat with him about what this could mean in terms of the athletic career, getting caught up at the wrong place wrong time etc.

Now for the European problems

1. There is a higher alcoholism/ binge drinking problem among the youth of W. Europe so no you let them drink as teens plan is not fool proof.

2. Your id getting drunk isn't responsible for drinking

3. Getting good grades doesn't mean they don't have an issue with alcohol.

4. Not all teens experiment with alcohol

no duh. There is no guarantee of anything.

1. You could tell your kid absolutely not, and they could still do it behind your back and end up as an alcoholic
2. Your kid could go off to college and completely let loose and become an alcoholic, and/or end up hurting themselves, or worse dead.

I know of a kid whose parents are super strict, starting from an early age. They were in Ker with my DC. I witnessed how strict they were.

The Ker teacher even told me that they thought the kid would end up completely going wild once they went away to college.

There are no guarantees when it comes to raising kids. You just try your best to guide them well, and teach them to be responsible, and that includes drinking.

And doing your best is not giving them alcohol and not co-signing them going to parties where you know parents serve alcohol

[Anonymous]

OP. thanks for responses. Lots of good suggestions/thoughts here.

[Anonymous]

The best deterrent is for the teen to witness mom or dad passed out from an alcoholic binge. I have known a few people in college who swore off alcohol because of the parental mis-behavior with alcohol.
It's traumatizing for the kid and they can't unsee what they saw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also European and plan to introduce alcohol at home. In Europe binge drinking as I've seen here is extremely rare. People "social" drink and one needs to know how to do that classy, instead of always getting black-out drank when having access to alcohol. The way kids here drink at colleges is completely insane.

I have made the same observations, although you do find a lot of sources online that claim studies show European youth binge drink more and that American prohibition works. Most of these are from agenda-driven websites though, and I'm skeptical how good the data on this really is.

It certainly seems to make sense that if something is treated as "forbidden fruit", youth would seek it out more and go more overboard when they get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best deterrent is for the teen to witness mom or dad passed out from an alcoholic binge. I have known a few people in college who swore off alcohol because of the parental mis-behavior with alcohol.
It's traumatizing for the kid and they can't unsee what they saw.

I do believe this is traumatizing, but I'm afraid the research will show that addiction disorders run in families. Some of it is definitely genetic, and some is dysfunction being passed on to the next generation through neglect and poor role modeling.

I think parents who model a responsible relationship with alcohol but don't treat it as a forbidden fruit while making clear what the dangers are will be the most successful in raising kids not to become alcoholics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm also European and plan to introduce alcohol at home. In Europe binge drinking as I've seen here is extremely rare. People "social" drink and one needs to know how to do that classy, instead of always getting black-out drank when having access to alcohol. The way kids here drink at colleges is completely insane.

I have made the same observations, although you do find a lot of sources online that claim studies show European youth binge drink more and that American prohibition works. Most of these are from agenda-driven websites though, and I'm skeptical how good the data on this really is.

It certainly seems to make sense that if something is treated as "forbidden fruit", youth would seek it out more and go more overboard when they get it.

The sources are from their own countries.
They have known drinking problems.
But keep living in your delusional Europe is utopia world.

[Anonymous]

OP did you grow up in the 90s, give or take? It’s hard to believe that you didn’t experience any kind of social life that would give you a clue. Everyone here seems to describe their child as an athlete and just all around high achiever. Then they go on to describe a kid who doesn’t fit the description. If he is going to parties and there’s alcohol there your job is to make sure he’s not getting into any cars where alcohol is involved. If you don’t want him to drink then tell him to hold off on parties for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked him why Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s against the law. Period.
No more parties and feel free to report the parents serving. The end.

+ 1. Rather my kid be alive and temporarily mad at me than permanently dead or maimed or with some kind of legal charge because I want to be coo Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish that instead of crowd sourcing whether or not you should give your 16 year olds sips of alcohol at home, you’d act like an actual parent and stop normalizing your 16 year old going to parties where other parents serve alcohol. JFC!

+1 sounds like the kid is going to go wild in college and binge drink. He’s already starting with parties in high school.

Parties in high school! Whatever next???

Some of the people on this board are just crazy. No wonder there is a teen mental health crisis.

[Anonymous]

I would not allow my child to attend these parties, and I say that someone who doesn't have a huge issue with a sip of wine at dinner at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. He's probably already drinking at the parties.

2. He's ationalizing how much he can drink before it's a problem for him - if you have any sort of substance abuse problem in your family history thisshould be a big red flag for you.

3. While you can't totally control him you really should have a chat with him about what this could mean in terms of the athletic career, getting caught up at the wrong place wrong time etc.

Now for the European problems

1. There is a higher alcoholism/ binge drinking problem among the youth of W. Europe so no you let them drink as teens plan is not fool proof.

2. Your id getting drunk isn't responsible for drinking

3. Getting good grades doesn't mean they don't have an issue with alcohol.

4. Not all teens experiment with alcohol

That part.Op. that's what would concern me most.

I would assume he's already tried it.
More than a few sips.

You need to have an in-depth covo with him.

Don't get angry or punish him.

[Anonymous]

Ha. I think if our teen asked this, I would let them try a shot of something like Jägermeister or hard whiskey. Or a nice skunky IPA.

Then they won't want to touch liquor for a while.