Persistent issue with fights/threats

[Anonymous]

https://zawn.substack.com/p/quiet-quitting-101-how-to-emotionally

[Anonymous]

You are not allowed to threaten divorce in a marriage. Very toxic.
Get to marriage counseling/clergy/men's group stat, so a therapist can teach him that. Otherwise he will eventually destroy your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey, i’m the PP with the husband also does this, who mentioned the narcissism/ emotional abuse factor—-

I would say - to the other PP whose jobs prospects slipped away because the DH did not help out — this happened to me too - until i kust started visualizing myself as a single mom and hired an au pair to help —- and to recognize my husband might enjoy sabotaging me to make him more powerful in the relationshio.


To the PP, can you try to find work even part time? I really do think that financial autonomy can help in this situation if you can get there - otherwise threats of abandonment can realy mess with your head.

Not OP, but a DP and asking this without snark, PP. Re: the bold especially--why have you stayed married? I am NOT asking this with an attitude, which I say here becasue it's impossible to tell tone over a forum post. I was wondering what keeps people, women or men, in marriages where they have to manage the other person's motivations, undermining behaviors, need for power, etc. all the time, day in and day out. Finances? Young kids and fear of the spouse having them half the time? Plans to leave once the kids finish high school? Or very differently--Love the spouse, and the behaviors are narrowly focused, that you can deal with them and the rest is good?

by the way, you do not owe me or anyone answers to those questions if you don't want to answer them. I hate when commenters here demand answers and details from other commenters.

[Anonymous]

I told mine that if they didn't stop abusing me, I was going to leave. Ended up leaving when abuse continued and they dared me. They took themselves out soon after.
Nothing normal about it. They had so many chances to stop or get help. Somehow life got hard to them, but not for the people who have to live with them.