If you get overstimulated easily, how do you deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I had a hairdresser who wore earplugs. She could hear me, but they helped her with the noise of all the hairdryers and music and people yelling to be heard over them. Can you wear earplugs?
2. Train your kids. Sure sometimes toddlers will be loud but really work on yours learning to not interrupt, no whining, only being loud when on the playground or in an emergency. Teach the older one they can only complain about something ONCE. They state their complaint, you acknowledge hearing them, and that's it. Or let them have a Complaint Log, where they write out their complaints to you and you write back each night.
3. Turn your ringer off or super low.
4. Train your dog to not bark.

I hear you on this - I had to go to a dinner at Benihana and found it VERY overwhelming and by the time we were walking out I'd shut down quite a bit. It was too loud to make conversation, my nerves were frayed from all the slamming of spatulas on the grill and lights flashing and people yelling, etc. I truly couldn't go to another event three nights later - just couldn't make myself show up.

I agree with teaching your kids. This is the biggest thing. At the table, teach your older child not to interrupt. Teach the toddler not to scream.

I get overwhelmed easily and my husband is a terrible interrupter. I try very hard to nicely say "hold on Bill. Ok as I was saying...." I interject when he interrupts our 12 year old too. It works sometimes. It was much easier to teach my child how to not interrupt.

My husband is not sympathetic - he doesn't understand why being interrupted is hard for me or why I can't hear the movie over him inexplicably taking a full minute to roll the top of the chip bag over to close it up.

But you can work on your kids op.

I disagree. You can’t be constantly screaming at your kids to be quiet. There’s lots of studies that loud kids are the healthiest because they feel the most comfortable to be them.

I wear ear plugs. I also have area rugs everywhere to help absorb noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. I had a hairdresser who wore earplugs. She could hear me, but they helped her with the noise of all the hairdryers and music and people yelling to be heard over them. Can you wear earplugs?
2. Train your kids. Sure sometimes toddlers will be loud but really work on yours learning to not interrupt, no whining, only being loud when on the playground or in an emergency. Teach the older one they can only complain about something ONCE. They state their complaint, you acknowledge hearing them, and that's it. Or let them have a Complaint Log, where they write out their complaints to you and you write back each night.
3. Turn your ringer off or super low.
4. Train your dog to not bark.

I hear you on this - I had to go to a dinner at Benihana and found it VERY overwhelming and by the time we were walking out I'd shut down quite a bit. It was too loud to make conversation, my nerves were frayed from all the slamming of spatulas on the grill and lights flashing and people yelling, etc. I truly couldn't go to another event three nights later - just couldn't make myself show up.

I agree with teaching your kids. This is the biggest thing. At the table, teach your older child not to interrupt. Teach the toddler not to scream.

I get overwhelmed easily and my husband is a terrible interrupter. I try very hard to nicely say "hold on Bill. Ok as I was saying...." I interject when he interrupts our 12 year old too. It works sometimes. It was much easier to teach my child how to not interrupt.

My husband is not sympathetic - he doesn't understand why being interrupted is hard for me or why I can't hear the movie over him inexplicably taking a full minute to roll the top of the chip bag over to close it up.

But you can work on your kids op.

I disagree. You can’t be constantly screaming at your kids to be quiet. There’s lots of studies that loud kids are the healthiest because they feel the most comfortable to be them.

I wear ear plugs. I also have area rugs everywhere to help absorb noise.

You don't need to constantly scream at your kids to be quiet. You teach them how to not interrupt, don't scream/screech or yell inappropriately. You teach them alternatives that don't cause distress to others.

This means knowing when it IS ok be loud.

[Anonymous]

Ear plugs, sun glasses and daily meditation

[Anonymous]

I agree with the earplugs suggestion.

Also, though, I think it's totally fair for your husband and kids to acknowledge this is who you are and help you out with it. If there are certain times of day that are the worst for you, it's ok to tell them you need quiet in this room. Like, "get out of the kitchen while I'm doing dishes. If you want to be loud you can go in the basement or outside." And just have it be a standing rule that they get used to.

[Anonymous]

I had no idea I was very sensitive to noise overstimulation until we had kids. I actually loved going to concerts, clubs, loud dinners with friends, etc. I've always worked in quiet office environments.

But the kids just take it to another level because they don't stop when asked. I have one kid who definitely has Oppositional Defiance Disorder and it can cause me to just totally shutdown. I can feel my internal temp rising and I start sweating. Combine that with a small house, tons of kid-related clutter, constant nagging....it is literally the worst thing about having kids.

[Anonymous]

NP here. I found this thread looking for earplug recommendations. Specifically, I see that there are lots of alternatives to the loop brand now. And since I lost one of my loops I figured I may as well investigate. What have people found to be helpful in terms of something that keeps you from getting overwhelmed, but still lets you hear conversational voices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you wear discreet ear plugs that will help dampen (but not mute) the sound?

DP. I get overstimulated by sound, and where discreet noise-canceling headphones do dampen sound, but DH gets annoyed and has zero empathy, and my kids think I'm weird, so more often than not, I'm tortured. It's the worst on car trips when we're all trapped together, and there is fighting, phone/iPad noise, and radio noise, and in those cases, I wear my noise-canceling headphones without apology. Work is a retreat because it's mostly quiet, and no one cares that I wear headphones.

Just yell at DH to stfu. It works.

[Anonymous]

Earplugs, sunglasses, baseball cap, 1 kid who takes care of his dog, cat, fish

Yoga, rowing, meditation

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue mainly because I talk to people all day at work and then come home to a lot of noise and action. I walk the dog by myself and try to take space when I can.

I also have started sleeping with a sleep mask and ear plugs and that seems to have helped the most. I get much better quality sleep and it blocks out all light and noise for a lengthy period of time and it’s easier to deal with the noise and activity the next day.

[Anonymous]

You are very brave to have loud husband, two loud kids, and a dog. I would have never complicated my life like that.
Would have never said 'yes' to a loud man and what's with the dog? Kids are fine. They will be at school most of the time.
For now, give the kids to the loud husband to handle.
How did you get two loud kids, loud husband, and get overstimulated easily. They seem to go together.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m exactly the same and you are going through the hardest part right now when the kids are young and it’s total chaos.

Others have given great recommendations about having DH take kids out for a morning, meditation, etc here’s a few more ideas for carving out quiet time throughout your day

- schedule quiet time in your house the same way you schedule dinner and other activities.
- if you know dinner is particularly loud/overwhelming, try to schedule the hour before dinner as quiet time, so you can recharge a bit before sitting down
- in our family, everyone goes to their room and can do whatever they want, as long as they are quiet. If they make noise, the toy/game gets taken away
- either get up earlier or go to bed later than the rest of the family, do you can have a quiet house to yourself
- I have DH do breakfast for the kids and I do a long quiet walk w dog in the morning to start the day off right.
- valentine and bday gifts from DH always include float therapy

These may not be in your control but I thought worth mentioning. When DH and I first married, we lived in a loft which was an utter disaster, so I put a lot of thought into our next house (no open floorplan) - lots of separate rooms and tv in basement, kids on different floor etc

Being able to work from home was such a gift. Until COVID🙄


Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My entire life I’ve tended to get overstimulated easily. I could never do concerts (or even music at home), clubs, large groups, etc.

I have 2 young kids and an H, and most days I feel like breaking down. The toddler screams all the time, the 8 yo complains, H is super loud. It feels like I’m being bombarded from every angle. Plus throw in a dog, the phone going off, the never ending to-do list, and most days I feel like I can barely function.

Tonight at dinner everyone was just being so LOUD I had to get up and leave. I got in the shower to calm down. Most of the time when someone tries to talk to me, I can’t even process what they’re saying because I’m hearing 2-3 other people talking and my anxiety from it all is through the roof. A few nights ago H took the kids out for the evening and I forgot how nice it is to just do the dishes in silence so I can relax and actually hear myself think for once.

I don’t want to be one of those moms who screams at everyone to be quiet, and I do believe kids have the right to be loud. I just can’t take when everyone is making noise all at once.

Noise cancelling headset and yoga works for me.

[Anonymous]

Ear plugs are your friend. Take extra long showers. Spend time outdoors. Meditate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ear plugs are your friend. Take extra long showers. Spend time outdoors. Meditate.

What earplugs do you recommend? I don’t want to block out all sound, just tone it down and take the edge off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ear plugs are your friend. Take extra long showers. Spend time outdoors. Meditate.

What earplugs do you recommend? I don’t want to block out all sound, just tone it down and take the edge off.

NP. I’m very similar and loop earplugs have been life changing. I have two pairs, engage and quiet, mostly depending on if I am trying to talk to anyone.