I think I am going to have a panic attack

[Anonymous]

I think I got the answer: Yes the counselor NEEDS to be linked on all apps because they submit the school report. The application can be submitted before the counselor submits the school report. Is this correct?

[Anonymous]

Honesty? Ignorance is bliss. My kid is applying and he is taking the lead on this - I am not asking too many questions - as I know my perfectionistic child will pull through. I also battle with anxiety and perfectionism, and I realize now is NOT the time to transfer my own issues onto my kid -so - I would just - let your kid take care of this. And put head in sand. Good luck! They will get in somewhere .IT is not even October yet. The deadlines are still a month away. Our kids WILL come through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honesty? Ignorance is bliss. My kid is applying and he is taking the lead on this - I am not asking too many questions - as I know my perfectionistic child will pull through. I also battle with anxiety and perfectionism, and I realize now is NOT the time to transfer my own issues onto my kid -so - I would just - let your kid take care of this. And put head in sand. Good luck! They will get in somewhere .IT is not even October yet. The deadlines are still a month away. Our kids WILL come through.

I was trying to be that way. My dh handled proofreading essays yesterday and I left the house because I know it's not healthy for me to get that involved. But I am very much the default parent for anything involving logistics and dd texted me about it, being confused...So then my mind starts spinning. I don't think I can feel significantly better until she gets in somewhere (we are not being super ambitious, my fear is she won't submit right and won't get in because of it.)

[Anonymous]

She can definitely submit her part, regardless of the counselor not doing her part. My son completed all of his part and paid and submitted. The rest was stuff the counselor at school had to submit (counselor recommendations, transcript, school profile, etc.). Make sure she has gone through each individual school on the list and checked that there are no additional questions she has missed or skipped over. We were definitely surprised by some extra questions/supplementals. Also make sure she stays on the teacher who is doing the recommendation to get it submitted on time. They need to know her schools have a 10/15 deadline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can definitely submit her part, regardless of the counselor not doing her part. My son completed all of his part and paid and submitted. The rest was stuff the counselor at school had to submit (counselor recommendations, transcript, school profile, etc.). Make sure she has gone through each individual school on the list and checked that there are no additional questions she has missed or skipped over. We were definitely surprised by some extra questions/supplementals. Also make sure she stays on the teacher who is doing the recommendation to get it submitted on time. They need to know her schools have a 10/15 deadline.

These two schools that are October 15 have no deadline. The other recommendations she asked for a long time ago so they should be ready by November 1st. I am just frustrated by the conflicting advice we got. I think I get it now but it feels so complicated to me with so many moving parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can definitely submit her part, regardless of the counselor not doing her part. My son completed all of his part and paid and submitted. The rest was stuff the counselor at school had to submit (counselor recommendations, transcript, school profile, etc.). Make sure she has gone through each individual school on the list and checked that there are no additional questions she has missed or skipped over. We were definitely surprised by some extra questions/supplementals. Also make sure she stays on the teacher who is doing the recommendation to get it submitted on time. They need to know her schools have a 10/15 deadline.

These two schools that are October 15 have no deadline. The other recommendations she asked for a long time ago so they should be ready by November 1st. I am just frustrated by the conflicting advice we got. I think I get it now but it feels so complicated to me with so many moving parts.

Ugh, I meant no recommendation, not no deadline! My brain is half functioning under the panic.

[Anonymous]

We are having a similar situation and I am going in circles asking kid to go to counselor with specific questions and show her the screen that dies not look like friend's screen. Ugh! good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I got the answer: Yes the counselor NEEDS to be linked on all apps because they submit the school report. The application can be submitted before the counselor submits the school report. Is this correct?

Correct OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What school? In sure this crowd can confirm if reco is needed

I don't want to say but I am 100% positive it's not needed. My dd's friend submitted without, I checked the school site, and the second counselor just told dd as well it's not needed. I am now looking and seeing "recommenders and FERPA" can be added/removed for each school? Is this correct? So then dd would just have to remove for this one school?

This not wanting to name the school is a sign of stress, OP. No one here will be able to out your DD based on her having a common app in progress with a given school - and no one at said school will auto-reject her for having trouble with the common app, either. Just remind yourself: you are having a database problem, not a college problem. You have had database problems before, whether at a job or in your household. It can be solved, just like a knotted shoelace can be undone. Fix yourself and DD your favorite non-alcoholic beverages, sit down together, and watch some YouTube tutorials. Look up common error messages and see how they can be repaired. Copy DD's existing answers into a text file so they can be reconstructed if necessary and experiment a little. You are not going to wreck DD's college chances by having to play with the application interface. DD is fortunate that you care so much, but more stress does not equal better results. It will be OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull yourself together.

this.

I am physically sitting at my desk normally, doing all my work and home everything and errands and Homecoming stuff and college stuff normally. I am an internal WRECK and barely sleeping. It is horrible. I just want to be done with this. I would LOVE to "pull myself together" and not worry.

I hear you. I bought a pack of cigarettes for the first time in like DECADES last week. It's a very stressful time for a lot of parents, not these parents obviously, but a lot of OTHER parents. It is finite and it will end.

In the meantime, did you know that cigarettes cost $14 now? And there is literally no where to smoke them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is so far ahead of the game. She has a whole 15 days yet.

Yes! I have twins and neither one has started writing any supplementals. We have two full weekends.

Mine isn't done with the main essay yet. OP would be in the hospital if this were her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pull yourself together.

this.

I am physically sitting at my desk normally, doing all my work and home everything and errands and Homecoming stuff and college stuff normally. I am an internal WRECK and barely sleeping. It is horrible. I just want to be done with this. I would LOVE to "pull myself together" and not worry.

I hear you. I bought a pack of cigarettes for the first time in like DECADES last week. It's a very stressful time for a lot of parents, not these parents obviously, but a lot of OTHER parents. It is finite and it will end.

In the meantime, did you know that cigarettes cost $14 now? And there is literally no where to smoke them.

lol $14??? That's crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am finding this so stressful. Dd has submitted no applications. She has done everything she could including supplemental essays, but she is getting contradicting info from two counselors and the common app is so confusing to me in terms of how to submit everything. She is also waiting for letters of recommendations (she asked as soon as school started) Deadlines are coming and I wake up at night with cold sweats. Why am I so stupid and why can't we figure all of this out? I was really hoping dd would solve all this today and it's yet another no-progress day.

Why are YOU taking on this stress? This is your kid's responsibility. You have nothing to do with it except to write checks for application fees and the like.

You're super weird. This is not normal, at all.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you are a mess OP. Tell your DH to advise. Your panicking is not healthy for your DD. I hope she isn't on the verge of a panic attack too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take some deep breaths and maybe a walk around the block. Then divide the things to do up into manageable tasks. One thing at a time. If something is out of your control, don't worry about it too much. All will be well.

None of this is helpful.