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Ugh. So, you admit to everything being transactional, even subconsciously, because these people had money- which they shared with your family without strings or anything. What is wrong with that?With you, it's about power, not niceness.
I think you need to continue to be nice, and yes, events may be more one sided because parents have to see all the kids. One day they'll be dead and I guess your concerns about being nice to people will be over. But- wait until it's your turn to be patronized. It comes very fast. |
| I don't think you are terrible but maybe you need to do some soul searching to see why you've prioritized decisions like this and see if you can steer away from that line of thinking from now on. Maybe embrace your ILs even more from now on as family and not a future pay out. Letting go of that wealth focus as a measure of importance may be a bigger relief than having new wealth. |
You came in already loaded to say the ILs are toxic without even reading the scenario. So typical here to blame the ILs for everything with zero accountability to the saintly DIL. |
DP, the title describes the relief one feels when they can drop the pretense of being nice to those whose behavior doesn't warrant it. Of course the title would lead the pp to expect stories about toxicity and drama from the people who are being treated with niceness, but only superficially. Then she read the post and thought, wha?, like a lot of us did. Go soak your dentures. |