Adult babysitters not wanted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back and pretty discouraged. It seems split that my rate is both too cheap and too expensive. I set my rate lower because my DH and I don’t go out alone much due to cost of sitters. I was hoping to pay it forward to people who were penny pinching too.

I guess I am too old (I’m 35) to be fun or hands on as well. I don’t agree as I know the value in wearing out a kid before bed.

I was hoping this was going to work out as $300 extra a month would go a long ways.

Well it really depends on where you live. In DC proper, $18 is really low. I have no idea about the suburbs/exurbs.

I would absolutely hire a mom to watch my kids. Our current go-to sitter is someone in her 40s who is a nanny during the week. But we established a relationship with her, and she came recommended. We found her through our neighborhood listserv. Maybe focus more on your qualifications in your posting? You just need one family to like and recommend you, and then that can open up a lot of other situations.

In Arlington $15-20 is the going rate for HS kids. $20-25 in the going rate for College, Grad school, young adults. $25-30 is professional nanny pay or people with 3+ kids, infants, driving, etc.

I pick HS kids because I want to pay closer to $15 for my well behaved, self-sufficient kids who are not quite old enough to be left alone at night. I picked more adult sitters when I had kids under 4 who needed help bathing, had elaborate bedtime routines, etc.

[Anonymous]

Can you substitute teach? You can make $300 net in probably 4-5 days a month of work, depending on taxes and where you live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you substitute teach? You can make $300 net in probably 4-5 days a month of work, depending on taxes and where you live.

Op. I have a full time job. I work 9-4. I am primarily looking to work early morning if you need help getting kids out the door to school or after 4 for traditional babysitting, driving to activities or overnights.

We had a loss of income for awhile and trying to catch up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens don’t judge messy houses, bad parenting, adult decision making, etc.

I don’t want another adult in my life to see and judge my shortcomings. Even if the adult does “work” for me, I’d be concerned they would think less of me for how I raise my kids.

+1

Older babysitters sometimes share their 'thoughts' on such matters. I'd rather have a young person who is smart and responsible but DNGAF about my house.

+2 As a busy mom I imagine you aren’t actually judging me for feeding my kids pizza and carrot sticks for dinner, but I am judging me and now I feel pressure to cook a “real” meal and clean my house to impress you. I do not care if teens see our clutter or pizza boxes.

Also I have a high powered job and wouldn’t want you trying to use me for contacts. Teens arent smart enough to know who I work for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel uncomfortable paying a fellow mom from my neighborhood. I suppose because it breaks the polite agreement that we all pretend that everyone in the neighborhood is comfortably upper middle class. It makes me feel guilty about our ability to go out while a neighborhood mom who is potentially my friend or an acquaintance from my kids’ school is giving up an evening with her own family to sit on my couch or play board games with my kids. I also feel self conscious that an adult whose life is similar to mine is judging my home in a way that a neighbor's nanny or a grad student or teacher in her early 20s is not. It feels like an invasion of both my privacy and the adult babysitting because now I know you are hard up for money.

Growing up, the mother of a classmate cleaned my house and I found it uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that I knew that her mom cleaned houses as a side hustle and sometimes a kid my age had to come along and help. Uncomfortable that this classmate could see my room and my personal things even though we were not close.

Agree. You admitting you need money breaks the mirage that everyone is happy, healthy and well off. It’s a reminder it could happen to anyone in an upper class neighborhood. Please dont admit to anyone you’re struggling. You’ll be an untouchable. You should just move.

This is effing insane. Please ignore this sociopath, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back and pretty discouraged. It seems split that my rate is both too cheap and too expensive. I set my rate lower because my DH and I don’t go out alone much due to cost of sitters. I was hoping to pay it forward to people who were penny pinching too.

I guess I am too old (I’m 35) to be fun or hands on as well. I don’t agree as I know the value in wearing out a kid before bed.

I was hoping this was going to work out as $300 extra a month would go a long ways.

I'm in my mid-40s and babysit regularly as a side gig. I think there's some validity to what people are saying about not wanting to hire one of their peers as a babysitter. I suggest making a profile on care.com and finding a local moms group on Facebook. There are often Facebook groups specifically for people looking for babysitters. Once you have a couple clients, hopefully your info will be spread by word of mouth. Don't get discouraged. There are plenty of people looking for babysitters. FWIW, I charge $20-$25/hr in the Chicago suburbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel uncomfortable paying a fellow mom from my neighborhood. I suppose because it breaks the polite agreement that we all pretend that everyone in the neighborhood is comfortably upper middle class. It makes me feel guilty about our ability to go out while a neighborhood mom who is potentially my friend or an acquaintance from my kids’ school is giving up an evening with her own family to sit on my couch or play board games with my kids. I also feel self conscious that an adult whose life is similar to mine is judging my home in a way that a neighbor's nanny or a grad student or teacher in her early 20s is not. It feels like an invasion of both my privacy and the adult babysitting because now I know you are hard up for money.

Growing up, the mother of a classmate cleaned my house and I found it uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that I knew that her mom cleaned houses as a side hustle and sometimes a kid my age had to come along and help. Uncomfortable that this classmate could see my room and my personal things even though we were not close.

Agree. You admitting you need money breaks the mirage that everyone is happy, healthy and well off. It’s a reminder it could happen to anyone in an upper class neighborhood. Please dont admit to anyone you’re struggling. You’ll be an untouchable. You should just move.

This is effing insane. Please ignore this sociopath, OP.

+1. Would you also not hire a neighbor who bakes cake to make a birthday cake? Or a neighbor who is a plumber to fix your toilet? Or a carpenter to do work? What is so embarrassing about working and especially watching kids? It’s a job like anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you substitute teach? You can make $300 net in probably 4-5 days a month of work, depending on taxes and where you live.

Op. I have a full time job. I work 9-4. I am primarily looking to work early morning if you need help getting kids out the door to school or after 4 for traditional babysitting, driving to activities or overnights.

We had a loss of income for awhile and trying to catch up.

You should try restaurants. I went into mine at 4/5/6 pm and was done at 10 pm during the week. Two brunch shifts a week will give you $1200 easily and all the food you can eat.

[Anonymous]

I'm 46 and played soccer with my friend's kid for three hours. Who said we old?
OP, I'm also looking to do what you want to do, but I don't need to do it for money really. I'd still charge some, but not a whole lot. Now I feel like it won't be easy.
It was going to be my very part time retirement job.
I love being outside and figured I might as well take a kid along for adventure while parents run errands or take a break.
Mine own kids are at school and really don't need me.

[Anonymous]

No way I’d hire a peer in the neighborhood. Too many variables. If my kids love you, I’ll resent you. If you do a horrible job, you’re tanked as the moms talk. I don’t want to see you in my house and later at the neighborhood pool. I keep my employees at a distance.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd and a red flag that you claim to work 9-4, have 3 kids, and want to babysit someone’s kids “cheap” for extra income. There are so many other opportunities for you to make extra cash that do not involve baby sitting. Who is watching your kids while you babysit? You say you offer drop off/pick up without bringing your kids- where are they? Is your DH doing all of that care? I would honestly not be comfortable letting a full grown adult care for my kids in this situation. Plus our parenting styles might not align and I am not interested in someone trying to be an extra parent type. My kids prefer the local teens who are fun, play games and they see at sports game/school visits.

[Anonymous]

It feels kind of creepy like why would this person with their own kids and another job want to spend time with more children for 18 an hour? I’m not saying you specifically have bad intentions, but it would put my antenna up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel uncomfortable paying a fellow mom from my neighborhood. I suppose because it breaks the polite agreement that we all pretend that everyone in the neighborhood is comfortably upper middle class. It makes me feel guilty about our ability to go out while a neighborhood mom who is potentially my friend or an acquaintance from my kids’ school is giving up an evening with her own family to sit on my couch or play board games with my kids. I also feel self conscious that an adult whose life is similar to mine is judging my home in a way that a neighbor's nanny or a grad student or teacher in her early 20s is not. It feels like an invasion of both my privacy and the adult babysitting because now I know you are hard up for money.

Growing up, the mother of a classmate cleaned my house and I found it uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that I knew that her mom cleaned houses as a side hustle and sometimes a kid my age had to come along and help. Uncomfortable that this classmate could see my room and my personal things even though we were not close.

Agree. You admitting you need money breaks the mirage that everyone is happy, healthy and well off. It’s a reminder it could happen to anyone in an upper class neighborhood. Please dont admit to anyone you’re struggling. You’ll be an untouchable. You should just move.

These posts are both (1) deranged and (2) sadly true.

It makes you realize how much about "community" is about keeping up appearances and also how hierarchical a lot of people see the world (important to know who is on which level and not to mix levels in an uncomforable way).

I've been working on changing career fields and have considered a couple small business ideas but I have to be realistic about what people in my immediate community would hire a neighbor to do. Babysitting and house cleaning and landscaping are all considered "beneath" them and therefore they are unlikely to hire someone they view as a peer to do it. I agree they also think it would be too intimate to have a neighbor in their homes in this way. But a professional services like organizing or personal shopping and interior decorating are okay even though it also involves being in the home which is interesting. There are several people in the neighborhood who offer these services and people not only think it's fine but their names get passed around a lot via recommendations. I think women see these jobs as less manual labor and thus it feels more appropriate for a peer. Similar thing with photography. I also think women often see themselves as "collaborating" with people in these roles on projects in a way they don't feel about childcare or cleaning or landscaping (in those situations they view the relationship as telling someone what to do and having those orders followed).

Just layers of classism at work here. But it also makes you realize how most people view their nannies and cleaners and landscapers -- as less than.

Realizing this has also helped explain to me why some people have sort of weird and fraught relationships with their nannies. There is disagreement over whether a nanny belongs in the first category (manual labor and only to be done by people who are signficantly less well off plus their job is to take orders) or the second category (a more respected and acceptable vocation for an equal where the nanny will have more freedom to advise and make independent choices).

[Anonymous]

I think my son sees his babysitter (a college student) as basically a very tall kid for him to play with. That's why people tend to go with younger babysitters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People don't feel comfortable hiring people they consider as "peers" for this kind of thing. It feels awkward because they want it to feel like a hierarchical relationship (employer-employee) and that's a lot easier with a local teen than with a fellow mom.

It's the same reason people are less likely to hire a neighbor to clean their house or take care of their lawn.

I would try advertising in another nearby neighborhood. I did some babysitting when my DD was an infant and I needed extra cash and that's what I did -- I babysat for families in a suburb adjacent to where I lived. I advertised on nanny.com instead of using local list serves or word-of-mouth. I think it helped the people who hired me to see me as a babysitter and not as an equal.

+1 you need to target outside your local peer group.