Adult babysitters not wanted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens don’t judge messy houses, bad parenting, adult decision making, etc.

I don’t want another adult in my life to see and judge my shortcomings. Even if the adult does “work” for me, I’d be concerned they would think less of me for how I raise my kids.

This is how I feel too. I might want an adult for a newborn, but not for little kids. Plus, I remember babysitting as a young teen. I really played with the kids and burned their energy. They were exhausted when they came home and the parents seemed to like that. I wouldn't do that as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Rate is too low. People might assume you are bringing your kids, or will be texting and watching your kids from afar.

[Anonymous]

I have a toddler and would hire a sitter like you! Sounds like some folks with older kids would want high school aged sitters who their kids would view as cooler/more fun, so maybe try to target baby/toddler parents?

[Anonymous]

OP back and pretty discouraged. It seems split that my rate is both too cheap and too expensive. I set my rate lower because my DH and I don’t go out alone much due to cost of sitters. I was hoping to pay it forward to people who were penny pinching too.

I guess I am too old (I’m 35) to be fun or hands on as well. I don’t agree as I know the value in wearing out a kid before bed.

I was hoping this was going to work out as $300 extra a month would go a long ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$18 an hour? Wow

Should this person charge more? I’d love to pay $18/ hr. We pay $30/35.

Same! $18/hour is a steal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back and pretty discouraged. It seems split that my rate is both too cheap and too expensive. I set my rate lower because my DH and I don’t go out alone much due to cost of sitters. I was hoping to pay it forward to people who were penny pinching too.

I guess I am too old (I’m 35) to be fun or hands on as well. I don’t agree as I know the value in wearing out a kid before bed.

I was hoping this was going to work out as $300 extra a month would go a long ways.

Well it really depends on where you live. In DC proper, $18 is really low. I have no idea about the suburbs/exurbs.

I would absolutely hire a mom to watch my kids. Our current go-to sitter is someone in her 40s who is a nanny during the week. But we established a relationship with her, and she came recommended. We found her through our neighborhood listserv. Maybe focus more on your qualifications in your posting? You just need one family to like and recommend you, and then that can open up a lot of other situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back and pretty discouraged. It seems split that my rate is both too cheap and too expensive. I set my rate lower because my DH and I don’t go out alone much due to cost of sitters. I was hoping to pay it forward to people who were penny pinching too.

I guess I am too old (I’m 35) to be fun or hands on as well. I don’t agree as I know the value in wearing out a kid before bed.

I was hoping this was going to work out as $300 extra a month would go a long ways.

Not sure why you’re so discouraged it seems pretty unanimous to me that people are saying your rate is too low.

You’ve also gotten some other good advice:

Advertise outside of your immediate neighborhood (people will feel awkward hiring similar aged acquaintances/neighbors for domestic tasks)

Highlight/play to your strengths and target audience: particularly parents with infants and/or who require someone to drive their children around and want a more mature and experienced adult or those who need late night hours.

[Anonymous]

If you’re available to cover the late afternoon/early evening post school hours and particularly drive kids to/from activities in that timeframe you should have no problem finding jobs! You’re just not advertising in the right venues.

[Anonymous]

Are you available during frequent drop off/pickup hours? I think people would feel more comfortable having an adult shuttle their kids around vs a teenager (if the teen can even drive yet), so a recurring part-time thing during school pickup/activity hours might be something you could market yourself for if the timing works with your family commitments. We actually usually hired daycare/preschool/extended care teachers when our child was young and just started the high school babysitter thing this year (we have a 4th grader). But there are windows of time that dont' work for high schoolers, and if your day job doesn't conflict with that it's a high-demand niche you could fill.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should be discouraged! I would rather hire someone with your age/experience/qualifications for babies and young kids. You just need to find the right “market” of families for your skills.

[Anonymous]

I agree you need to go outside the neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

I would feel uncomfortable paying a fellow mom from my neighborhood. I suppose because it breaks the polite agreement that we all pretend that everyone in the neighborhood is comfortably upper middle class. It makes me feel guilty about our ability to go out while a neighborhood mom who is potentially my friend or an acquaintance from my kids’ school is giving up an evening with her own family to sit on my couch or play board games with my kids. I also feel self conscious that an adult whose life is similar to mine is judging my home in a way that a neighbor's nanny or a grad student or teacher in her early 20s is not. It feels like an invasion of both my privacy and the adult babysitting because now I know you are hard up for money.

Growing up, the mother of a classmate cleaned my house and I found it uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that I knew that her mom cleaned houses as a side hustle and sometimes a kid my age had to come along and help. Uncomfortable that this classmate could see my room and my personal things even though we were not close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens don’t judge messy houses, bad parenting, adult decision making, etc.

I don’t want another adult in my life to see and judge my shortcomings. Even if the adult does “work” for me, I’d be concerned they would think less of me for how I raise my kids.

+1

Older babysitters sometimes share their 'thoughts' on such matters. I'd rather have a young person who is smart and responsible but DNGAF about my house.

+2 As a busy mom I imagine you aren’t actually judging me for feeding my kids pizza and carrot sticks for dinner, but I am judging me and now I feel pressure to cook a “real” meal and clean my house to impress you. I do not care if teens see our clutter or pizza boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel uncomfortable paying a fellow mom from my neighborhood. I suppose because it breaks the polite agreement that we all pretend that everyone in the neighborhood is comfortably upper middle class. It makes me feel guilty about our ability to go out while a neighborhood mom who is potentially my friend or an acquaintance from my kids’ school is giving up an evening with her own family to sit on my couch or play board games with my kids. I also feel self conscious that an adult whose life is similar to mine is judging my home in a way that a neighbor's nanny or a grad student or teacher in her early 20s is not. It feels like an invasion of both my privacy and the adult babysitting because now I know you are hard up for money.

Growing up, the mother of a classmate cleaned my house and I found it uncomfortable. Uncomfortable that I knew that her mom cleaned houses as a side hustle and sometimes a kid my age had to come along and help. Uncomfortable that this classmate could see my room and my personal things even though we were not close.

Agree. You admitting you need money breaks the mirage that everyone is happy, healthy and well off. It’s a reminder it could happen to anyone in an upper class neighborhood. Please dont admit to anyone you’re struggling. You’ll be an untouchable. You should just move.

[Anonymous]

Are your kids in some kind of preschool that is part time? I would have LOVED another mom to help with the gap between preschool and when I get off work during that age.