Regretting team choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC has been playing with the same club for a few years. They are on the top team and one of the strongest players. But the team has had its share of struggles and we have had concerns with training and coaching. Last spring DC attended practice and tried out at a couple of other clubs, and was offered a spot on a team that plays at the same (high) level.

DC ultimately opted to stay with their current team/club, and is now regretting it. The team is struggling and it doesn’t seem like things are going to get better. DC is frustrated and now wishing they had moved to the other team. I wanted it to be DC’s decision, but wondering if I should have nudged a bit more as I saw the writing on the wall. The other club/team is not amazing, but the players seemed more dedicated and the training seemed more effective.

So now what? It’s obviously too late to change for this year. How can DC make the best of a bad situation? Can we go back to that other team and say we made the wrong choice and hope DC could get considered for next year? Anything we can do to make sure DC is still developing and enjoying the sport? I would hate to see their love get killed by low team morale and a poor training environment.

I’m wondering if our kids are on the same team and perhaps we carpool together? 😂 If not, my DC is on a similar team, and we also wish we’d pushed moving to another team. My DC is probably more middle of the pack, but DC loves soccer and wants to play with other kids who are competitive and want to win. That’s not this team.

My DC really likes the kids on the team, and the coach is doing his best, but DC feels like at least half of the kids don’t really care if they win or lose. At the level/league they’re playing in, it makes for some devastating loses. I think we will talk to DC about making a move for next year, especially if the top kids leave (and I’m sure they will if the year continues as it’s begun). Until then, if DC wants, we’ll focus on getting DC some 1:1 coaching or other training outside of practice to help with development.

It’s frustrating to be “stuck,” and I’m sorry you’re in the same boat (and maybe on the same team).

OP here. Pretty sure our kids are not on the same team but I’m sorry you are dealing with this too. I had a feeling things would be like this, but I was staying quiet. Now that DC is starting to express dissatisfaction it’s tough. I would rather they be middle or bottom half of a better team than the best on a bad team. I don’t think DC is going to improve by training with their current team. The intensity and focus just isn’t there at the practices.

The other team is in the same league unfortunately. They will play each other. I don’t want to burn any bridges. I guess all we can do is try to get DC some training outside of the club with kids who play on better teams, and hope they can stand out at some practices and tryouts in the spring.

[Anonymous]

If you can, leave. Be respectful, but put your DC first if soccer is a passion. Parents will understand and many coaches dont care even if they act like they do. I would bet some of the other parents are disappointed as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC has been playing with the same club for a few years. They are on the top team and one of the strongest players. But the team has had its share of struggles and we have had concerns with training and coaching. Last spring DC attended practice and tried out at a couple of other clubs, and was offered a spot on a team that plays at the same (high) level.

DC ultimately opted to stay with their current team/club, and is now regretting it. The team is struggling and it doesn’t seem like things are going to get better. DC is frustrated and now wishing they had moved to the other team. I wanted it to be DC’s decision, but wondering if I should have nudged a bit more as I saw the writing on the wall. The other club/team is not amazing, but the players seemed more dedicated and the training seemed more effective.

So now what? It’s obviously too late to change for this year. How can DC make the best of a bad situation? Can we go back to that other team and say we made the wrong choice and hope DC could get considered for next year? Anything we can do to make sure DC is still developing and enjoying the sport? I would hate to see their love get killed by low team morale and a poor training environment.

I’m wondering if our kids are on the same team and perhaps we carpool together? 😂 If not, my DC is on a similar team, and we also wish we’d pushed moving to another team. My DC is probably more middle of the pack, but DC loves soccer and wants to play with other kids who are competitive and want to win. That’s not this team.

My DC really likes the kids on the team, and the coach is doing his best, but DC feels like at least half of the kids don’t really care if they win or lose. At the level/league they’re playing in, it makes for some devastating loses. I think we will talk to DC about making a move for next year, especially if the top kids leave (and I’m sure they will if the year continues as it’s begun). Until then, if DC wants, we’ll focus on getting DC some 1:1 coaching or other training outside of practice to help with development.

It’s frustrating to be “stuck,” and I’m sorry you’re in the same boat (and maybe on the same team).

OP here. Pretty sure our kids are not on the same team but I’m sorry you are dealing with this too. I had a feeling things would be like this, but I was staying quiet. Now that DC is starting to express dissatisfaction it’s tough. I would rather they be middle or bottom half of a better team than the best on a bad team. I don’t think DC is going to improve by training with their current team. The intensity and focus just isn’t there at the practices.

The other team is in the same league unfortunately. They will play each other. I don’t want to burn any bridges. I guess all we can do is try to get DC some training outside of the club with kids who play on better teams, and hope they can stand out at some practices and tryouts in the spring.

OP, you can use this time to take your kid to some practices at the other team you think would be better. Things are more likely to go your way if you do this. If you wait until spring tryouts, there is no telling what team you kid might land on. We had a mom bring her daughter to a big tryout and she just knew she would get the 2nd level team... they were so unhappy at their current team and were ready to switch. They received an offer for the 3rd team and they did not switch over because of it. And, you do not know what kind of coach and team environment you will get when switching clubs. Usually, the coaching slate is not set by spring tryouts. The clubs will say they are and publish a list, but guess what, come fall time, now coaches always show up. -Trust me, work your kid into some practices now. Just e-mail the club and try to find out when where they practice and get there 10 minutes early to meet the coach and have your kid practice with them. Do this 3 times before making a decision.

[Anonymous]

A quick follow-up to my above post, do not tell the new club what level team your kid plays on. If you don't say they play on the top team, they may automatically try to put you with their bottom team. You have to sell your kid a little. If you say white team, they will just put you on their white team equivalent. And if you are getting the extra training, mention that too. We had one coach who was indeed swayed by what camps kids did when giving them a look on our top team. A kid shows up, coach says to me, this kid did a Brazilian soccer camp, and bam that kid had one practice on the top team and had an offer on the spot. She was average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smells like Alexandria to me.

Agreed.

[Anonymous]

You’re getting majority really bad advice here, Op but you seem to have the right attitude. DC will need to stick it out until spring which you seem clear on. It’s a goal to focus on to keep motivation high and it will be here in no time. We went through the same thing so I’m speaking from experience.

[Anonymous]

You are not burning brudges (and would you ever go back to this team so why does it matter?) Do what is best for your kid.

I moved my kid mid year at u14 and it was the best thing we could have done. Better fit on new team plus confidence, enjoyment, better practice schedule, etc....

And we have seen the previous coach at tournaments and everyone is cordial.

[Anonymous]

I’d say stick it out if it was Feb. but the year just started. And many of these coaches and clubs show no allegiance to their players. And quickly drop kids in favor of others. Don’t act like there is something honorable here. There is nuance to commitment.

[Anonymous]

The contexuals are important as well...is this MLS Next/ECNL or something lower? If your kid is a top player with real prospects, then you have to be as ruthless as these clubs are and do what is best for his future in the sport. If they are playing for the learning experience and fun, then maybe stick it out all year and see if they can overcome the challenges cause its not really about their future in the sport.

If it was me, it would be all about what the long-term goal is of playing the sport in the first place. And we all kinda know where our kid is at whether we want to admit it or not...

[Anonymous]

We’re thinking of leaving our team mid-season, as well. Would love to hear from folks who did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re thinking of leaving our team mid-season, as well. Would love to hear from folks who did it.

It's expensive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re thinking of leaving our team mid-season, as well. Would love to hear from folks who did it.

If you play for a VA-based club, the important thing to remember, and someone addressed this previously, is that a club can hold your player card unless you have fulfilled your financial obligation to them. I would still try having a conversation with the coach/club, explaining your rationale for wanting to leave and ask for a pro-rated refund. They don't have to agree to that, obviously, but they might be willing to depending on the circumstances. In the worst case, you will end up having to pay the full club fee/team fee (if you haven't already). If you do that, they must release your player card and if they don't, you reach out to the VYSA registrar, explain the situation and they will release it (and should technically admonish the club for not doing so). I assume a similar policy is followed in MD but I can only speak for how it works in VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re thinking of leaving our team mid-season, as well. Would love to hear from folks who did it.

DS practiced with a few teams in the fall and got an offer from the one he wanted. We decided against jumping ship in the middle of the season (we thought it would be a dick move at a small club that paid a lot of attention to us) but also, the new club implied that the offer would still be open when we were ready to move DS.

If it matters, DS is a high level player. I think it gets more complicated for bubble players and below.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re thinking of leaving our team mid-season, as well. Would love to hear from folks who did it.

If you play for a VA-based club, the important thing to remember, and someone addressed this previously, is that a club can hold your player card unless you have fulfilled your financial obligation to them. I would still try having a conversation with the coach/club, explaining your rationale for wanting to leave and ask for a pro-rated refund. They don't have to agree to that, obviously, but they might be willing to depending on the circumstances. In the worst case, you will end up having to pay the full club fee/team fee (if you haven't already). If you do that, they must release your player card and if they don't, you reach out to the VYSA registrar, explain the situation and they will release it (and should technically admonish the club for not doing so). I assume a similar policy is followed in MD but I can only speak for how it works in VA.

If you personally e-mail VYSA and say you want your player card and are having a dispute with the club, they release the card.

[Anonymous]

Here is the specific VYSA policy. You can read it for yourself:

"Transfer between Clubs or Teams during Seasonal Year: It is the policy of VYSA that all travel players registered with VYSA are responsible for making payments required in writing by their clubs and/or teams. Accordingly, VYSA will not process a transfer of a player from one club/team to another during the seasonal year if that player is not current on his or her financial obligations, provided that (1) the financial obligation is set forth in writing and acknowledged by the player’s family, and (2) the obligation is for the current seasonal year. For purposes of this policy, any written financial obligation signed by the player’s family will be sufficient, including a financial obligation set forth in an electronic registration document and acknowledged electronically at the time of registration. This policy does not apply to a player who changes clubs or teams between seasonal years. In the event that a club or team objects to a transfer by a player during or between seasons due to failure to make required payments, the club or team must, within three business days of the transfer request, submit to the VYSA office an email to [e-mail] objecting to the transfer. Documentation of the financial agreement supporting the request must be submitted with the email. Failure to notify VYSA, could result in VYSA approving the release of the player. VYSA will notify the family that the transfer is being held until payment is made. A club or team must notify VYSA immediately upon payment (within two business days) to release the transfer request. In the event that VYSA determines a club or team has placed a hold on a transfer in bad faith, the club or team may be sanctioned."

Source: https://www.vysa.com/policies-and-procedures/