staying very close friends with an ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm friends with my ex husband. I watch his dog when he is away. We have dinner together with our adult sons. I do not have romantic feelings for him nor him for me. Divorced 5 years.

Strangely at least to me- it seems more okay for people to be friendly with their ex- spouses than with ex-boy/girlfriends.

I assume if people took all the difficult steps to divorce then that bridge is burned romantically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone do this? How did you navigate the situation? My ex is one of my closest friends. We have so much in common and she's an amazing person. I truly love her in a bromance kind of way. Anyone able to pull this off without romantic feelings creeping back in?

No. Dumb idea. Are you 16?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It only works if you both insist to new partners early on that the friendship continues. I have an ex who is basically like family now. I was skeptical at first, but I’m glad we made it work.

My brother and his ex are still close friends and this is how you do it.

[Anonymous]

I did this with my college boyfriend. We were friends, then dated, then he lost interest and dumped me but we have so much in common and had the same social circle in college we made it work. Life took us many different geographic places, I got married in my 20s and he’s still single in his 30s. My husband doesn’t love our relationship but we live far apart so it doesn’t come up too much. We talk a few times per year at this point but still consider eachother good friends. There is absolutely no pressure in the relationship which helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It only works if you both insist to new partners early on that the friendship continues. I have an ex who is basically like family now. I was skeptical at first, but I’m glad we made it work.

… and this only works until you dump your partner for your “best friend, basically like family!” btdt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this with my college boyfriend. We were friends, then dated, then he lost interest and dumped me but we have so much in common and had the same social circle in college we made it work. Life took us many different geographic places, I got married in my 20s and he’s still single in his 30s. My husband doesn’t love our relationship but we live far apart so it doesn’t come up too much. We talk a few times per year at this point but still consider eachother good friends. There is absolutely no pressure in the relationship which helps.

talking a few times a year is a LOT different from having an ex you claim is “like family” and your “best friend” who you text all the time.

[Anonymous]

I've done it. It works best when there's a new partner or two, when the breakup didn't involve some horrible betrayal, and when amsexual attraction wasn't that strong. I had one ex who wants to be friends and I can't do it because the attraction is too strong and because some lies preceded the breakup. I had another who wouldn't talk to me.