Parents who hover over kids at college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's not an app for laundry?

They swipe their ID card at my kid’s school, but sometimes the system goes down and they need quarters, which a lot of kids haven’t dealt with in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I typically assume their child has special needs. We don't know everyone's story.

If only..

[Anonymous]

Not sure if it is just a VT thing, but has anyone else noticed that the vast majority of the posts that make you think "your child is 18, not 18 months" are almost always about a SON? I know VT has a higher concentration of males vs. females, but the ratio of posts asking questions for sons is way more disproportionate than the gender breakdown as a whole.

(Examples: roommate snores what to do, where can they get air to pump up their bike tires, where can my child buy an umbrella near campus, is anyone else's kid having issues with the wifi, has anyone else's kid gotten only lukewarm water in the dorm showers, my child isn't making healthy choices at the dining hall, what to do if a class is too hard -- these are all posts I've seen since move in)

[Anonymous]

I’m happy to help out our first year when they call with questions. There’s a lot to navigate with new friends, a new living situation, new learning situation, new clubs and activities, etc. DC is doing great - but why wouldn’t I help out if asked? I’m glad they see us parents as a source of support and encouragement. Everyone in the world needs someone to call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy to help out our first year when they call with questions. There’s a lot to navigate with new friends, a new living situation, new learning situation, new clubs and activities, etc. DC is doing great - but why wouldn’t I help out if asked? I’m glad they see us parents as a source of support and encouragement. Everyone in the world needs someone to call.

I think it depends on what it is and what exactly "help" entails, but in general, I think the greatest gift we can give our young adults is reassurance, confidence, and belief that they CAN stand on their own two feet and solve problems on their own without needing help from Mom and Dad.

(Again, it depends on the problem. If my kid calls with an emergency...an actual emergency, not "I overslept for class"...of course I'll help in the best capacity I'm able to. If my kid calls and asks where he can find quarters, unless I know off the top of my head, I'm not going to search that answer out for him. That's something he's perfectly capable of doing. If he calls because he failed a test or something I'll commiserate and offer suggestions if he explicitly asks for them, but I'm not going to directly "help" by setting up a tutor or asking other parents in Facebook group for advice or God forbid, talking to the professor.)