Repeat last year primary school or middle school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can relate to your post. We chose to send DD to K a little early, because she was truly ready academically for K, and we figured she would catch up socially. By fourth grade, we found the exact opposite to be true!

We didn’t do it, and though she’s in 8th now and everything has leveled out for the most part, I wish I would have sent her to a different school to repeat 5th, because now that she’s in 8th, I can tell she’s socially behind again. And there would be nothing wrong at all with her having the extra academics.

What do you mean that you sent her early? When is her birthday? Some of these claims that their children “went early” don’t make sense.

Her birthday was five days after the cutoff, so we signed the waiver. Her preschool teacher urged us to send her, and we did. It was fine until it wasn’t. It’s mostly fine now, but I still wonder if she would fit in better socially if we had held her back. I wouldn’t do it after 5th grade, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you will have to switch to another private school to remedy this. My DD is a late summer birthday and we started her in K just after she turned six at a private school. She was academically advanced (had been reading for several years by then) and within a few weeks they recommended that she move up to first. They said they never recommended that but thought it was right for her. So we did it. Six years later we are now trying to remedy this by moving her to another private school to repeat sixth grade. Academically she's still fine but she's very immature in some ways. Also struggles with organization which is increasingly important in middle school. Pandemic disruptions were also not helpful. I have a summer birthday son who will be doing PK twice (at different schools) so that we're not dealing with the same issue with him down the line. I expect that he will be bored academically for the first few years, but that's preferable to a struggling tween, believe me.

At six years old it was perfectly acceptable to be in first grade. A summer birthday is not unusual at all. You’re making excuses for your child having to repeat a grade.

[Anonymous]

You will kill this kids self esteem if they repeat 5th or 8th grade. You do it now at a different school or you don’t do it. Kids are cruel and your kid will get labeled the stupid one if they repeat later.

[Anonymous]

I was after the cutoff and my mother pushed to have me in 1st grade (K was private). I was always tall and bright and could read before K so it was ok but I did notice social differences. I am female. I was almost 12 months younger.
I think a bigger gap would be very hard for a boy. I would repeat K now in a new school if you must and not stigmatize him by "repeating" after he has same-grade friends established.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a different *private* allow DS to repeat 5th or 8th?

No iou pig

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can relate to your post. We chose to send DD to K a little early, because she was truly ready academically for K, and we figured she would catch up socially. By fourth grade, we found the exact opposite to be true!

We didn’t do it, and though she’s in 8th now and everything has leveled out for the most part, I wish I would have sent her to a different school to repeat 5th, because now that she’s in 8th, I can tell she’s socially behind again. And there would be nothing wrong at all with her having the extra academics.

What do you mean that you sent her early? When is her birthday? Some of these claims that their children “went early” don’t make sense.

Going to K early means that your child turns 5 after the cut off date but you get permission to enroll in K anyway.

By way of example, the majority of states have a Sept 1 cut off date (or very close to that), and if your child turned 5 on Sept 16, your child would technically have to wait a whole year before they could start K. But some schools will let you enroll your child in K anyway since it's pretty close. Your child could be in class with "Larla" who turns 6 on September 16, because Larla was started on time. And if your live in a wealthy district where redshirting is rampant, your child could even be in a class with "Larlo" who turned 6 on May 16, because Larlo was redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a different *private* allow DS to repeat 5th or 8th?

Most will. I know at my school they've suggested kids come in a grade behind due to academic deficiencies. Sometimes the parents accept that, sometimes they do intensive remediation over the spring/summer to get the kids readier.

[Anonymous]

OP - Why are you trying to plan so far in advance? If you're at a school and you like the school, then just roll with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will kill this kids self esteem if they repeat 5th or 8th grade. You do it now at a different school or you don’t do it. Kids are cruel and your kid will get labeled the stupid one if they repeat later.

I agree. I think repeating after K or 1st is social suicide. I still am not clear why OP is looking at repeating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will kill this kids self esteem if they repeat 5th or 8th grade. You do it now at a different school or you don’t do it. Kids are cruel and your kid will get labeled the stupid one if they repeat later.

I agree. I think repeating after K or 1st is social suicide. I still am not clear why OP is looking at repeating.

Didn’t she say at a different school? How would anyone know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will kill this kids self esteem if they repeat 5th or 8th grade. You do it now at a different school or you don’t do it. Kids are cruel and your kid will get labeled the stupid one if they repeat later.

I agree. I think repeating after K or 1st is social suicide. I still am not clear why OP is looking at repeating.

Didn’t she say at a different school? How would anyone know?

Kids end up outing themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You will kill this kids self esteem if they repeat 5th or 8th grade. You do it now at a different school or you don’t do it. Kids are cruel and your kid will get labeled the stupid one if they repeat later.

I agree. I think repeating after K or 1st is social suicide. I still am not clear why OP is looking at repeating.

Didn’t she say at a different school? How would anyone know?

Perhaps I misunderstood. Since OP stated her child loves the current school, I assumed that the repeat would take place at a different school and then the child would return to the original school. I do think if it’s in the same area, people are likely to find out and at the older age it would still be a social issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a different *private* allow DS to repeat 5th or 8th?

I don't know how common that is, but we have definitely thought of this (and the opposite) as a family moving around and attending international schools. We had one kid on the cusp repeat a year but it was easy as they'd be either very young or very old and the grading system is different

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will kill this kids self esteem if they repeat 5th or 8th grade. You do it now at a different school or you don’t do it. Kids are cruel and your kid will get labeled the stupid one if they repeat later.

PP here with int'l schools. Why? Just tell them it's a different system b/c it is and they will likely be ahead of the curve academically but kids don't generally complain about that unless they are bored. in which case they then "skip" a grade

[Anonymous]

Think it’s better to repeat 5th at a new school so peers at the new school won’t know unless kid decides to tell them rather than repeat K now given you are happy with the current school and you don’t know if there’s an actual problem yet. If an issue becomes apparent, your backup is switch schools at 5th. If an issue doesn’t, then great and you’re set at your current school.

The only thing is your kid could internalize it it more in 5th but weigh that against telling a 5 year old they need to go to a new school even though he loves his school and his siblings don’t have to switch schools. Might be better psychologically given this to switch in 5th grade.