Repeat last year primary school or middle school?
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Anonymous
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Background: DS is in K now and youngest in class and birthday is after cutoff. 14-15 months younger than oldest kids. Might not have been best to send him early but I’m not sure. His current school (private K-12) won’t let him repeat a grade due to school policy of not letting students repeat grades (DS has been at the school since preschool). They are very strict with the policy and have never made an exception.
Question: Can we have him repeat a year later in his educational career at a different school? For example, after 5th or 8th grade at current school, ok to do 5th or 8th again at another school? (Either public or private?) Or will my DS be forced to move to the next grade? I’d have him repeat K at another school next year but I want to give it a few years and wait and see if he really needs to repeat a year - I’m not at this time sure if repeating a grade is necessary/worth the downside (not being able to go to the school he loves with his siblings and friends/potential internalization of not being perceived as smart/good enough, etc.) so want to wait a few years and see how he’s doing and then decide. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry that’s frustrating. I am in the same situation with my son and know many, many parents who held back. I had some annoyance about it that my son was a year younger than most of the other kids but when we hang out with some of his friends who did go down a grade, they aren’t necessarily thriving. Kids kind of take on the age and maturity of their peer group from what I’ve seen. If he has a really solid group of friends and is doing well academically and in sports I wouldn’t necessarily change. Have a really good solid reason. It’s not always an amazing advantage. Some kids thrive being the youngest and it builds up their determination and work ethic. We got together with a boy who was my son’s good friend and went down a grade and he’s struggling to hang out with my son now because he’s used to being the oldest in his peer group and more of a leader. I find my son to be more flexible with kids older and younger . |
Anonymous
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Thanks so much for your thoughts!
Agree and that’s why I’d like to wait until 5th or 8th to repeat the grade (if necessary then) as opposed to repeating K next year at a be school. Just not sure if we’d be able to repeat 5th or 8th. Seems to be average academically and below average in sports but he’s not even 5 yet so want to wait and see. |
Anonymous
| *new not be school |
Anonymous
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I'm confused by your post.
Did you send him early, meaning according to cut off dates he should be a grade below? if so that was really dumb. Why would you do that to your kid? You need to get him back with his age group. |
Anonymous
| Yeah sent him early. Misses the cutoff by 6 days. He did preschool at school A so seemed strange to do preschool again at school B (where his siblings attend) so just had him do PreK at school B but maybe I should have had him do preschool again at School B but that ship has sailed. School B won’t let any student repeat a year so don’t want to uproot him quite yet (he loves school, the fact his siblings are at the same school as him, his teachers) so considering getting him with his proper age group after 5th or 8th grade. |
Anonymous
It's not dumb, universally. Lots of kids get early admission waivers for public K if they can, for example, read fluently. OP's kid must have shown signs of being ready for K when she made the decision. Need more info on why she has since changed her mind. If the school does not think he needs to repeat, just let him progress through the grades. To answer your original question, yes, a public school will let you repeat the last grade he completed at the private school, if you really push for it. But they may discourage you from making him repeat if he is doing well academically at that point. |
Anonymous
Don't make decisions like this based on sports. Academics should account for at least 90% of you decision, and social issues at most 10%. It might be too early to tell if academic problems will persist over the years. And social issues depend much more on personality than age, and putting your kid with younger classmates won't automatically make him a leader or alpha dog. Even youngest boys can end up alpha if they are naturally pushy and over confident. |
Anonymous
No, some areas have a huge number of redshirts. My son is April and 3rd youngest boy of a class of 90. Many kids are 13m older. If he was Aug on time many kids would be 16m older. |
Anonymous
Disagree. Social is #1. Kids catch up academically and sports are not worth changing over. It's an inflated sense of being "good" if you are a year younger in ES but it can't carry you all the way. |
Anonymous
| year older, that was a typo |
Anonymous
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I left K after 2 months and was promoted to 1st (female).
Watch for issues keeping up with math in middle school. That's where the decision to accelerate caught up with me. If you have to repeat, do it in 5th. Middle school is a tough time. Better to be older all the way through. |
Anonymous
Completely false. Kids do not catch up academically just by being promoted to the next grade year after year. That's why summer school is so prevalent. And public schools never consider anything other than academics when parents request retention. If you say you want to retain Larlo because he is the smallest, youngest, and most immature boy in class, but his test scores show him at grade level, they are just going to roll their eyes and say "NO." |
Anonymous
| They also won't retain for below average academics. Someone has to be in the bottom half. You would have to be below grade level which is unlikely for a family with the means to pay for private. |
Anonymous
| Would a different *private* allow DS to repeat 5th or 8th? |